


Taming the Unruly

by AKZJ



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2018-09-19 06:45:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 82,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9423002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKZJ/pseuds/AKZJ
Summary: Anastasia, a young african american female, is sent to Japan against her will. To top it off she finds herself in a time where people, who differ from the masses are not welcome. Can she cope with the prejudice and accept her tragic past to find new hope? Even more so, can Sesshômaru accept a female who speaks her own mind freely? Or will life take a cruel turn for the worst?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I DO NOT in any way own any of the characters from Inuyasha. I just wanted to write my own fanfic and I hope you guys enjoy. Comment, review and follow this piece if you like. Thanks in advance.

The hot sun blazed upon the dark-skinned female as she dragged her tired feet over the hot asphalt to her next destination, the Higurashi shrine. Anastasia really didn’t want to be in Japan but her father insisted, telling her that she needed to learn “manners”, “discipline” and “respect”, three words she thought were worse than poison, especially coming from him. He may have others fooled by his everyday demeanor at the office, but she knew better. “I want to shove some respect up his ass!” she thought as she willed her sweaty body to the steps of the shrine. “Aww hell nah!” she yelled when saw the number of steps leading to the actual building. “Nope! I’m not doing this! He has no right to force me here in the first place. I hate him so much!” she all but screamed. She could still hear his parting words: “Anastasia, if you don’t stay in Japan and do as you are told, I will leave you there with no way of returning to America.” She shook her head at the memory and let out a frustrated groan. His orders were precise. She was to spend her summer with the wife of a man he befriended years ago on a business trip. As if she hadn’t had enough of his business associates already. She rolled her eyes and made her way up to the never ending stairs. Out of breath and feeling as if a piece of her soul got eaten away, she plopped down on the top of the stairs. “I swear if this is what I have to do every day I will die of exhaustion,” she said as she rubbed her blistering feet. A passing airplane caused her to looked up from her massage “Woooow!” she gasped softly, while looking at the city below and it’s tall buildings. The sunlight reflected off the glass structures causing them to look like stars. The honking cars reminded her of America, but the honking seemed a lot more pleasant and less aggressive. Even the air smelt a tad fresher to her, although it caused her throat to feel really dry, now that she took the time to observe her surroundings. “Now this is a view I can get used to,” she said, pushing herself from the step and placing her feet back into her flats. “Better get going.” She hoisted her backpack on her shoulders, passing the tori gate towards the house. She knocked on the door, calling for anyone who may be home. She repeated the process several times only to get the same response. She sighed and left the house, deciding it would be best to find some sort of shelter. Sweat trickled down her face, plastering a few strands of loose hair against her forehead. The gradual rise in temperature was affecting her health causing her to cough violently while grabbing her chest. She continued to look around until she spotted an old tree. She cringed slightly when she noticed the air was simmering underneath it just like everywhere else. She almost came to terms with the fact that she would be boiled alive before the Higurashi family returned when she notices a small shack with the door slightly open. Cautiously, she opened the door and peered into the darkness. A cool breeze passed across her skin, causing her to shiver in delight. Thinking it would be best to stay there in the shade she pushed the door completely open, revealing a battered well. Upon seeing the well a strange feeling engulfed the girl and without her actually realizing it something stirred within her. The woman opened her eyes slowly as if awakening from a deep slumber, although she had not slept; not since she had put up residence within the girl, who was now sitting on the edge of the ancient well. “Now this is a surprise.” the woman thought as the pull towards the well got stronger. She had had every intention of persuading the girl to go to Japan when she was a bit older to find the young lord, but her plans were pushed forwards when she learned that the girl would be spending the summer there. The thought of possibly traveling back in time never crossed her mind, leaving her with too many options, both good and bad, which she needed to weigh carefully. She thought about whether sending her back would be the right thing and if there would be a problem should others found out she had a shard within her. There would most likely be a priestess there that could protect her, but she had to take into account that her presence could cause more harm than good. She tried to shake of the feeling she got from the well. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to send her. There were, after all, a lot more demons in that time than this one and she could be killed, but maybe he can protect her? No, that wasn’t the problem, the problem was whether or not he would accept her. She was, after all a woman who was vastly different from him in both color and status. The young lord of this time seemed to be more mature and was rather open to other cultures. But unfortunately it seemed that grief and isolation had taken a toll on the dethroned demon lord. Maybe going back in time would prove to be useful? As far as she can remember his father did say he was a bit stubborn in his youth. She shook her head. She will be the perfect person for such an arrogant man. She chuckled. She knew Ana, herself, didn’t do too well with people bossing her around and it would be very interesting to see how he would react towards her. She frowned when she realized her thoughts. Being what she was, she wouldn’t want a human to be mated with a demon, but she made a promise and she would be damned if she broke it. Her musing came to a sudden stop when Ana gasped loudly as she tried to reach forward, grabbing nothing but air as a soft blue light engulfed her. Unable to do anything about the situation she cursed the cat that had startled the girl just before she heard a small thud then saw nothing but darkness.


	2. Chapter1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Inuyasha

Ana’s eyes flew open as memories of falling flashed in her mind. She furrowed her brows in confusion when she saw someone above her who looked at her with a puzzled expression. He had silver hair, soft honey eyes and dog ears. Dog ears? This must have been a dream. She blinked only to find the same image in front of her as before. He really had dog ears! She squealed internally, nah... they must have been for a costume… but damn… they looked so realistic! Curious, she reached forward and grabbed one ear atop the man’s head. “Stop messin’ with ma ears,” he barked, swatting her hands away. Stunned by his sudden assault, she sat up quickly and turned to face the strange individual, who seemed irate. Now wasn’t the time for her to be indignant, this was a pressing issue, she had to know. “Look here buddy, no need to get handsy. I just want to know how you did it?” she asked, still curious about his ears. “How’d I do what?” he asked, disgruntled. “Your ears….how did you make them so life like for your costume?”she asked, sounding as excited as a five year old. “Costume?... Look here lady I ain’t in no stinking cosplay!” He said angrily. She swore his ears twitched along with one of his eyes.“Aww... come on... you don’t have to be ashamed. I think they’re pretty cool.” she said, trying to reassure him. “Talking about my ears... what’s wrong with your skin?” he asked petulant. “My skin?!” she exasperated, the nerve of that man was unbelievable!“What’s wrong with your ugly dog face?” His eyes bulged at her comment, but he caught himself soon enough. “What did you say you bitch?!” he all but yelled.

Just as he finished his sentence and without any apparent reason his face smashed right into the ground. It was so hilarious she started laughing, served him right for being such an asshole. Her ribs hurt as she continued to laugh and she had to take in full gulps of air to ease the pain. She barely got her laughter reigned in when a girl wearing a green and white school uniform came up beside her. Still deep in her laughing fit she almost missed the girl’s introduction of herself and the man as Kagome and Inuyasha. “Sorry about my boyfriend.” Kagome said as she helped her off the floor. “He can be an idiot sometimes.” the girl continued. “I can see that,” Ana said stifling her laugh. After she had calmed down and introduced herself, she asked Kagome for directions to the Higurashi shrine. Kagome’s facial expression dropped as she stuttered, “I’m sorry Anastasia there is no Higurashi shrine in this time.” Ana looked at her with a dumbfounded expression. The woman must have been crazy, what was it even supposed to mean, not in this time? “What do you mean?” she asked with a tight smile. Kagome told her about her experience with the shikon jewel which allowed her to travel 500 years into the past then told her that she had a similar shard embedded in her chest. “So you’re saying that I traveled 500 years into the past because this shard thing gave me the ability to?” She paused for a second to assess the situation. “You want to know what I think? I think we need to take you to a psych ward, cuz you’re crazier than I thought.” she said with a forced laugh. “Either that or this is a poorly written joke,”she continued blankly.

She had enough of this bullshit and the steady pounding in her head didn’t help with her patience. Desperate to get away from this apparently distorted reality, she got up to leave but was stopped by Kagome. “Please listen.” she pleaded softly. “Listen... listen! Do you hear the nonsense you’re spouting lady?!” Ana yelled, even though she didn’t mean to. “Hey wench, who do you think you’re talking to, huh!?” Inuyasha asked defensively. “Just shut the fuck up okay!” Ana bellowed. She began to panic. Panicking was never good, she knew that by heart and still she began to hyperventilate. “What now?!”Inuyasha growled. “Inuyasha stop. She’s scared.” Kagome said, trying to calm the angered dog. “Anastasia, you need to relax. Just listen to me, please,” she begged, gently touching her shoulder. The gentle touch appeased her jumbled thoughts and made her want to believe what the girl had told her. Ana took a few deep breaths, trying to regain her composure. “Enlighten me, please.” she said wearily, once she had her breathing under control again. There was nothing else she could do and if she didn’t stay calm, god knew what it could do to her health. She listened for as long as she could to the fairy tale of demons, jewel shards, and a twisted psychopath, but as hard as she tried, she simply couldn’t wrap her mind around anything Kagome told her. It just sounded too superficial, as if it was conjured up by someone who was hallucinating. She continued to listen but when Kagome told her about a man who gave up his life to a bunch of demons to gain power, she couldn’t take it anymore, so she stood up and walked away without uttering a word. She couldn’t believe that she had actually thought, for one second, that she could believe Kagome’s story. “Where’d you think you’re goin’.” Inuyasha called, jumping in front of her. “I’ve had enough.” she said, “Look, if what you’re saying is correct, this shard thing should get me back to our time,” she directed to Kagome.

“I guess you’re right.” Kagome said hesitantly. Ana rushed to the well and swung her legs over its mouth. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and jumped. A shock ran up her body once she hit the ground. She waited for a few seconds for something to happen, a flash of light, weightlessness, anything. Maybe she was already there? Opening her eyes she looked up, only to see blue skies. And as if that wasn’t enough of an indication already, there were no honking cars and the air smelled crisp. Disgruntled she called up for help. “Can dogface please get me out of here?” Inuyasha’s head popped over the well’s frame, and judging by the look he gave her he was not too pleased by the nickname she gave him. “So you gonna help me or not?” she asked with her hands on her hips and a raised eyebrow. “Keh.” he said before jumping down and hesitantly wrapping his arms around her waist. With one good jump they were out of the well. “Okay, What the hell just happened. Why didn’t I go back?” she asked, panic evident in her voice. “I don’t know.” Kagome said to her. She seemed to be just as confused as she was herself. “What am I supposed to do then?” This could not be happening! She shakily ran her hands through her hair, grabbing the roots to relieve her growing frustration. Her life seemed to be slipping through her fingers and to top it off she was in a place and time she didn’t want to be in and didn’t know how to get out of. She was brought out of her distress by Kagome’s voice. “We should get back to the village. That shard you have could attract some dangerous people.”

“I’m guessing there aren’t any other options... is there?” she asked defeated. Kagome gave her an apologetic smile and shook her head. As the three made their way to the village a small boy with a tail came running in their direction calling for Kagome. He jumped into her arms and gave her a hug as best as he could, even though his tiny arms barely reached around the girl's slim neck. “Kagome? Who is that... and what’s with her skin color?” he asked puzzled. “Is everyone in the place racist?” Ana yelled to no one. “What’s racist?” he asked Kagome, looking as innocent as one could, but soon his brows furrowed. “Kagome she’s weird.” Angry, Ana stomped over to the little boy. “Look here you little rat…-”  
“I’m a kitsune.” he said, cutting her off. “Same difference. You want to know what’s weird? Fart for brains over there.” she said, pointing at Inuyasha, “And a runt with a tail.”

"I’m a demon and a full one. Why wouldn’t I have a tail?” he asked confused, as if children had to have tails. “Are you a demon, too? He kept asking her such silly questions and soon enough they were having an argument. The boy was no better than the poodle. Kagome tried to stop the argument but failed miserably while Inuyasha just watched from the sidelines. However, they instantly shut up, when a scary looking female in black and pink came stomping in their direction. “You two! Stop now! Hut this instant! And you better be friends by the time I get in there!” For the first time that day fear gripped her soul and in no time the duo found themselves in the assigned hut. “Man she’s scary.” Ana sighed, after she had made sure that the door was shut between herself and the demon woman. “Yeah she can be that way sometimes…..I’m sure she’s mad because Miroku groped a woman’s bottom.” the boy said, shaking his head. “Pervert,” she mumbled. There was a moment of silence then she heard a small chuckle from the little boy and within a few seconds the two burst into a roar of laughter. The laughing fit was short lived, however, and the two became silent once more. As they sat there she could hear Kagome telling the female about what happened that day. Her life was a mess now. No way to get back home and in a place where people seemed to think of her as a freak. She was brought out of her deep thoughts when she realized that the little boy was looking at her. “Can I touch your hair?” he asked. He caught her off guard and it took her a few seconds to respond. She nodded her head slightly. “Oh, my name is Shippo,” he said, getting up from his seat. "And mine’s Anastasia, but you can call me Ana.” He walked around and sat behind her then began to tug at her coils. It was the most comforting thing she had felt for days since she found out about her dramatic change in life and she soon found herself relaxing. “So Ana?” Shippo said softly. “Yes?” she answered slowly, curious as to what he could want to ask her. “How come your hair and skin are so different from Kagome’s? Are you sure you’re not a demon?” he asked curiously. She was about to retaliate but bit back the venom when she heard him gasp. ”Or maybe you were cursed?!” he continued in panic. “Wow there buddy.” she said, trying to calm the boy down while she thought of a way to explain. “Well, you see, Shippo, my parents have the same skin color as I do so I’m just like them and no I’m not a demon. Well I don’t think so.”

“So... is it like me... my ma and pop were fox demons so I’m a fox demon or like Inuyasha, his mom was a human and his dad was a demon so he’s half demon?” he asked, trying to understand her reasoning. She pondered on his explanation for a second. “Ahh... yeah you can say that.” He continued to play in her hair until Sango and Kagome entered the hut. “Looks as if enemies are now friends.” Sango said. Ana turned her head to see the woman in black. “My name is Sango,” the woman introduced herself with a small bow. “You can call me Ana,” she replied. She stuck out her hand to give her a handshake but Sango only gave her a puzzled look. She quickly receded, chuckling awkwardly, since she forgot that in Japan it was custom to bow when introducing one’s self . Sango and Kagome looked at Shippo and began to laugh. The boy was still tugging at her coils, watching them in awe as they bounced. A few moments later Inuyasha came into the hut along with a guy whom she assumed was Miroku “Sango you didn’t need to leave me behind-” Miroku began but stopped in the middle of his sentence when he saw Ana. “Earth to pervert.” she said when his stare became excessive. A smile crept on the man’s face and in a flash he was on one knee grabbing her hand. “Would you like to bare my children?” he asked. He was rather bold with his approach and she froze for a second. There was a loud smack before his body hit the floor and a huge bump formed on the back of his head. Above him stood Sango with an enormous boomerang that was almost her own size in her hands. A newfound respect grew within her as she gawked at the woman and the twitching, half unconscious body of her assumed boyfriend. “I’m gonna guess that that was Miroku,” Ana stated. “You bet it was….that lecherous monk,” Sango said displeased.

The group spent the rest of the evening talking about themselves. Inuyasha bragged about his sword and the fact that he defeated the conceited bastard he called a brother in order to get it. Sango spoke about her village and her brother, which ended in an awkward silence before Kagome interjected about her failing grades in algebra. Shippo was still playing in her hair and Miroku spoke about his wind tunnel and stared at her from time to time. From what she gathered this little band was brought together by the devastating influences of some psycho named Naraku, whom she wished she would never meet. After she told them about her situation they bombarded her with questions, asking her about her country of origin and what it was like to be in America and if it was any different than the future village that Kagome came from. She tried her best to tell them but before she could finish giving one answer they came up with another question. They must have forgotten about her own curiosities about her situation but she never stopped them. It was like the family she had always wished for. They were warm and cordial, which made her forget about her current predicament for a while. A smile crept on her face at the end of the whole conversation when everyone started to realize that it was getting really late.

Hours later she lay wide awake on her futon, in the hut of an older lady by the name Kaede, thinking of the roller coaster ride which currently was her life. It was ironic really, she wanted to get as far as she could from her father and now they were 500 years apart. For the first time that day she began to think about her mother which turned her smile into a frown. If she couldn’t get back home she wouldn’t be able to see her again or protect her from that maniac of a father. Getting restless from that thought she slowly got up from her futon, quietly made her way outside and began to walk. She didn’t know where she was going but she didn’t care either. Looking up at the stars, she realised that they shone brightly under the dark sky. No big building with blinking billboards to block them nor smog to dim their light. It was beautiful. Her mind began to wander and her brief yet fun encounter with Shippo replayed in her head causing a soft smile to form on her face. He was like the brother she could have had. She wanted to go home. She didn’t want to be here, she wanted to go back but she was stuck. Why did this have to happen to her? Why did that memory come back?! This wasn’t fair, she had successfully tried to bury that memory for so long, but now it came back to haunt her. Turmoil gripped her soul, riling up smothered emotions she didn’t want to feel. Her breathing became short and rapid as her sense of distress grew. She stopped and tried to take deep breaths but pain radiated through her chest. Realizing her situation she began to fumble through her pockets, in hopes to find her inhaler. Dread grew within her when she remembered that her inhaler was in her backpack 500 years in the future. The muscles in her chest tightened like a snake around its victim, making any attempt to fill her lungs futile. Her vision blurred and dizziness took over her head. She dropped to the floor, accepting her impending doom. Through blurred vision she saw her beautiful angel of death, coming to take her from her pain and misery. She welcomed him, finally giving in to the darkness, that crept along the edges of her vision.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Inuyasha

Wandering was not uncommon for the young lord, in fact, it was something he thrived for. The feel and smell of the fresh, crisp wind, the sound of his enemies flesh tearing against his poison whip, their screams as they fell beneath him and the rush of adrenaline he felt during battle. That had been his life, still was, but now he had a new obligation, protecting his pack, Jaken and even more, Rin. His thirst for blood had diminished a little ever since he had encountered the little human and although he would never admit it he was very much pleased that she was in his life.The three were currently heading south towards a rumored sighting of Naraku. The name alone caused his mouth to curl up in disgust. The man had had the audacity to use him in his scheme and to top it off he had tried to absorb him! The wretched Hanyou would die at his hands and no one would stop him. It had been weeks since they had last encountered the vile creature and it was beginning to agitate the young lord. Knowing that another day would pass without that mongrel dead was nauseating, but he was patient, sooner or later he would have the pleasure of feeling his flesh tear against his claws. The thought brought a smile to his lips, causing Jaken to stutter and crouch in fear.

The day had turned out to be uneventful, with his ward and servant tired he decided it would be best to stop for a moment. As he sat under a shaded tree his beast howled and paced within him, causing his skin to prickle with more youkai than normal. A hunger of lust grew within him while his instincts screamed at him to let go of his humanoid form. He growled softly at his beast as he dug his claws into the flesh of his palm to regain control over himself. The beast settled down but the craving to release his carnal desires didn’t recede. Jaken and Rin must have noticed his sudden rise in demonic energy and looked in his direction but since he revealed nothing they went back to their tasks. He pondered on various reasons as to why he felt such mundane desires. It wasn’t that time of the year, and even if there were females in heat around him, his body and beast had never before reacted in such a way. So what was the issue? The constant chatter in the background from his ward and servant did nothing but distract him from solving the puzzling issue. In dire need for some peace and quiet, he took to the skies, landing a few miles away to continue his destinationless journey.

He was still in deep thought when he smelled her. “Well hello my handsome young lord,” she purred, emphasizing the word handsome. He turned to face the wind demoness, expressionless as usual. There was no time to waste on her seductive tactics so he began to walk away but stopped when she flew a few feet in front of him. She shuddered at the intense glare he gave her and he could smell the arousal coming from her, causing his member to twitch. She took a step towards him, “I have been looking everywhere for you.” she said seductively, taking another step forward. He gave her a warning growl but it only riled her arousal and caused her to lick her lips in approval. It would have been better to fly away but she would be persistent and her arousal only fed his desire, ultimately trapping him in his place. She was now in front of him, “As silent as always,” she whispered, resting her hand on his chest. “I’m surprised you let me touch you,” she continued. His steady heartbeat increased with her touch as he felt the bizarre hunger grow beyond his control. Trying to restrain his desire, he began to breathe through his mouth in an attempt to evade her alluring smell but it was too late. Everything about her seemed enticing, her lips, her ruby eyes, the way her kimono accentuated the nape of her neck. The thought of her pinned beneath him, begging for mercy while screaming his name at the top of her lungs sounded appealing and before he knew it he had his lips locked with hers. A growl escaped his lips as he greedily pulled off her kimono, exposing skin he reveled in and it wasn’t long before he had her on all four, unleashing his carnal desires. Her hot, heavy moans fed the hunger that had overpowered him and soon after he was relishing in the feel of her walls clamping around him and his own release thereafter. After his heart and breathing returned to their normal pace realization dawned on him, leaving him disconcerted by his actions. Angered by his lack of discipline, he quickly pulled out of her and immediately clothed himself then told her that the act would never transpire between the two again, leaving the half naked and bewildered demoness promptly, unconcerned by her angry screams.

There were now more questions than answers as he flew back to where he had left his little band. What had he been thinking? That was the problem, he hadn’t been thinking, he just acted, something that was unnatural for him. As thoughts continued to flood his mind his beast gave him a displeased growl. Unappeased by his beasts sudden outburst, he asked, “Why are you unpleased with this Sesshômaru’s actions? She was a worthy enough candidate to quench an unnaturally growing desire,” he stated simply. Although he had not thought the situation through his answer seemed justifiable. When his beast didn’t reply he became disgruntled. Nothing was making sense, his beast was angry at him and the desire he thought he had smothered rose again with aggression. The situation was now unmanageable but he knew of one demon who could help him get the answers to his unusual situation. It wasn’t long before he stood in front of the ancient magnolia. He told the tree demon his current predicament and asked for possible reasons for his body’s sudden and drastic change, along with his beast’s dissatisfaction with his actions. “Ye are a mature Daiyoukai after all, it isn’t a surprise that you would call for some... release from time to time,” the old demon said, laughing heartily. Annoyed, he growled at the old magnolia for taking his situation lightly. If he didn’t have just as much respect for the old demon as his father had had he would have cut the thing down with his whip for the disrespect he showed him. “Sesshômaru-sama,” the tree called, bringing him out of his explicit reverie of a chopped up tree. “It is not a matter of amplified sexual desires, but more so of preparation. Your beast knows something you, yourself are rejecting, a thought you dare not comprehend, not in this lifetime.” Agitated by the somewhat cryptic answer the old, wise tree gave him, he left without a word. As he pondered on the information that the demon tree left him, he found himself heading towards his brother's village. He hadn’t realized that his instincts were sending him in that direction and was about to turn around as a familiar scent hit his nose, stopping him. The fine traces of salt that intertwined with the scent bothered him tremendously and his instincts pushed him forward to find the source. Curious as to what the source of the scent could be, he followed its trail.

Shallow, rapid breathing rung in his ears as he got closer to the source and when he saw the female lying on the cold and muddy ground his beast propelled him forward to her side, only to hear her take her last shaky breath. His beast trashed within him as he looked at the lifeless body of the young woman and youki pulsed on the surface of his skin as his beast became ladened with grief. How was this even possible when he didn’t even know who the female was? The smell of spiritual energy hit his nose and he jumped back just before a bright pink light engulfed her. Poison was at his claws tips as he eyed the now breathing female. He had not smelled holy energy coming from her before so how was it possible for her to be a miko?

His beast had calmed down instantly and a strange sense of relief filled his body. This was truly a peculiar situation and he didn’t like the idea that he had little to no knowledge of it. He dispelled his poison and assessed the situation, noting that his instincts didn’t see her as a threat but from his experience with spiritual affinities they could be a pain to deal with, so why would this female be any different? Curiosity ultimately got the better of him as he pondered on the situation and he cautiously reached forward to cup the girl’s face. He was surprised when he didn’t feel any tingling sensation of purification, only smooth skin.  
The young lord had lived for centuries and yet he had never encountered a female, or rather a humanoid being, in general, looking quite like the one before him. Rather unusual indeed, he could tell that she was different and it wasn’t only because of her features. She had long luxurious dark curls that framed her slightly rounded face, plump lips that were now parted while her eyes shifted under their lids. What he found the most intriguing was her complexion, it was rich like the midnight sky and his fingers looked almost white against her cheek. The scent he had smelled earlier grew stronger as his fingers made contact with her skin. He brushed a few strands of her bangs away from her face. How could his brother be so careless? The girl could have been killed. Startled by his thoughts concerning the girl the young lord scuffed. Why should he care for some unknown female that belonged to his brother and his band of simpletons? But it was difficult for him to shake the feeling of care for the female and decided to protect her for that one night only since his brother failed to do so in the first place.

As he gently picked her up he noticed the unusual red fabric she wore on her upper body, held in place by thin straps on her shoulders. It revealed the skin of her arms and some of her chest. Her legs were also unusually clothed, it was no Hakama as he knew them, not bound in any way and not loose fitting, rather tight, like a second skin. And if that alone was not indecent enough, they stopped at her knees, revealing the rest of her legs. Why was she this exposed? It could be troublesome. He huffed. Why should he care if she got touched by a man because of her indecency? He paused, the thought of any man touching her, except himself, was surprisingly revolting. He looked down when the girl shivered in his arms. Served her right for not wearing proper clothing. Wary of his armor, he pulled her closer to him, allowing her to rest on his mokomoko. Satisfied, he walked over to a nearby tree and sat down on the bed of grass beneath it, inhaling her spicy, sweet scent of cherry blossom and cinnamon which soothed his mood and lulled him to sleep.

His eyes flashed open when the girl shifted in his arms. The sun had already peaked over the horizon and a gentle morning breeze passed over them. “This girl is dangerous.” he thought, looking at the sleeping maiden. It was unnatural for him to sleep for long periods of time, yet he slept till daybreak with ease and comfort, leaving him completely vulnerable. His expression became hard, he didn’t like the fact that he had been careless. It was time for him to take this young woman back to Edo before any other unnatural behavior occurred. He stopped in his tracks when he smelled her. Knowing that the girls presence would cause an unnecessary altercation he quickly found a decent spot and placed the young woman there to keep her out of harm’s way. He moved several meters away from her body and patiently waited for the wind sorceress. “I have been searching for you, ya know,” Kagura said. “ I thought-..."

“You thought wrong,” he interrupted coldly “The act was meaningless. This Sesshômaru only has one goal and that is to defeat Naraku.”  
“I can help you,” she said. “Don’t be foolish, you’ll get yourself killed,” he replied. “I’m not weak,” she retorted. “No, but consider your situation,” he said calmly, knowing full well, that that was a rather delicate topic for her. The anger showing on her face proved him right. “I shall get my heart soon,” she bit out, frustrated. She took a step past him but he side stepped in front of her to block her from going closer to where the girl lay. “I feel like you’re hiding something from me,” she said with a scowl and furrowed brows. That was bad, he had anticipated that she would realize something was amiss, but he had hoped it would happen further away from the girl. His stoic facade gave nothing of his thoughts away, he was cautious of that. “This Sesshômaru has nothing to hide.” he said, walking in the opposite direction of where the girl lay in hopes of drawing Kagura away. When he didn’t hear her footsteps behind him he turned, it seemed as if she had sensed something was truly amiss, because she pulled out her feather and flew in the direction of the girl. He flew behind of her but it did no good for she had already gotten a glimpse of her. She shrugged nonchalantly and chuckled, “Rather obscene creature, but I don’t mind sharing as long as I am the favorite,” she said alluringly. “Hmph, neither I nor my beast are interested.” he stated simply before turning his back to her, which was his first mistake.  
He jumped elegantly as a gust of wind from one of her attacks hurled in his direction. He should have known that she wasn’t going to give up without a fight. Annoyed, he summoned his poison whip and hurled it in her direction as a warning. After all, he had to be careful with the girl in close proximity. When Kagura readied herself for another attack he jumped backward to draw her to a suitable area for them to fight. She hurled another round of wind blades his way and he dispersed the attack with his claws alone, pleased that his plan was working. She sent out her wind gust which took him off guard, however, he knew she could do better than that and it was at that exact moment he realized what was transpiring. She was not fighting him and she was not falling for his ploy, she was distracting him, luring him herself. Sesshômaru cursed inwardly as Kagura’s dance of the dragon attack quickly approached the unconscious girl. He knew that none of his attacks would reach her in time, he rushed in her direction but the distance was too far. Kagura cackled as they watched the gust of wind engulf the girl, but the look of confidence disappeared from the demonesses face as a bright pink light dispelled the attack and a high beam blast shot out from her direction, disintegrating half of her head and a large portion of her upper torso.

He stood astonished as spiritual energy crackled in the air while a frightened Kagura flew off without looking back at the levitating female that had mutilated her with apparent ease. He finally blinked after a few seconds and in that moment the girl collapsed but he had her in his arms before she could fall to the ground. What was it about this girl? What was she? He needed answers and he was sure that she was the only one who could give them to him but first he had to take her to a safe area before something else occurred. He quickly flew to his brother’s village, but when he got there he was greeted by his shouting brother and his group of imbeciles. “What did you do to her?!” Inuyasha screamed running towards him with his Tessaiga. He jumped back and glared at him. “You truly are a fool.” he said pushing past him. Inuyasha grabbed his shoulder and he shrugged him off with a growl. The others seemed hesitant to approach him. “I think there is a reasonable explanation Inuyasha,” the monk said to him. The monk was indeed smart. Inuyasha sheathed his sword and tsked. Sesshômaru sniffed the area for where the young woman’s scent lingered then went into the hut where he gently lay her on the futon. Once he was sure she was safe he went back outside and waited for her to awake.  
-oOo-  
It was not an everyday occurrence to see a female, and such a strange one at that, sending a high beam of spiritual energy from her bare hands. Naraku smiled. Served Kagura right for stealing off to lie with the enemy. This was an interesting development indeed and he wanted to dip his poison into the brew. That abnormal looking female would make a wonderful puppet and he intended to make it a reality. He frowned, speaking of puppets, one of his seemed to be dancing on her own as of late and he wasn’t too happy about that. The wind demoness had a lot of answers to give him and he would be delighted to squeeze them out of her if he had to. It could take the woman a while to return to him, though, the state she was in would not make her travel any faster. He was a patient man, however, completely content with watching his little tool convulsing in agony, as her body slowly tried to heal itself.

It took two days until a regenerated Kagura stumbled into the castle, spiritual energy still crackling around her. He grimaced when he felt a little energy dance over his skin but relaxed when it dissipated. He smiled, “My dear Kagura, I was so worried about you,” he said, beckoning her to his side. His smile remained in place as he wrapped his poisonous tentacle around her waist. The discarded flesh he sculpted into a weapon was a treacherous little wench but he needed someone to do his dirty work so he allowed her to do some things on her own once she didn’t jeopardize his plan. It seemed as if he had been too lenient as of late, so a little trouncing was in order. “Now, now Kagura,” he tsked, when she squirmed beneath him. Oh how he loved the twisted, painful expression she had on her face. “Where have you been? I sent you on one mission and you took your precious time. You know I don’t like to be kept waiting,” he said, glaring at her. He slowly dragged his tentacle down her body, relishing in the biting fizzle as his poison etched into her skin. A scream escaped her lips as the poison he allotted took effect. “You should be thanking me for keeping your heart. If you had it when you got hit with that spiritual energy you’d be dead,” he said, releasing her. “Don’t worry Kagura,” he murmured while gently caressing her face, “you’re still my favorite and I have a very important job for you to do and you are the only person I trust to do it.” She gave him a disgusted look. “It’s quite simple really. You will bring me that peculiar ningen female that Sesshômaru tried to protect, UNHARMED,” he said sternly. With a devilish smile on his lips, he watched the wind demoness stagger out of the castle.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry for the late update. Things got a bit busy so here's the new chapter. Sorry, it's a crappy apology but hopefully you like the chapter

Shouting, along with a massive headache woke Ana from her dreams of endless darkness. She groaned and held her head as she pushed herself from the futon she lay on. “What the hell?” she asked, looking around, confused as to where she was. The pounding in her head diminished a little after sitting up but the ruckus outside wasn’t making it any better. She tried to think about what had happened last night but the last thing she remembered was taking a late night stroll and getting an asthma attack, then nothing. She could have sworn she had died but that was obviously not the case because she could hear the bickering outside, feel the structure of the bamboo mats under her hands and smell the scent of burnt wood that still lingered in the air. She was sure that being dead would strip her of those senses. She tried harder to remember but thinking only made the headache worse. Unable to find a logical reason for her being still alive and disgruntled by the loud voice she recognized as Inuyasha’s, she got up from the futon, stumbling over the fireplace in the middle of the hut as she tried to walk through the makeshift door. She felt like crap, any little noise made her head pound and the dizziness that clouded her mind turned the few steps through the hut into a challenge. All that was missing from the hangover feeling was the puking fit for which she was truly grateful. Morning light hit her face when she pushed past the mat, groaning as she covered her eyes. “Shut the fuck up Inuyasha! It’s too early in the morning for this. Didn’t your girlfriend take you for your morning walk?” As everything went silent, she slowly blinked, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the sun's brightness . 

Everyone seemed to be on edge. Miroku and Sango were in a defensive stance, Inuyasha stood protectively in front of Kagome and Shippo hid his face behind her legs. The little boy shook with trepidation and she followed his gaze to see a tall, pale, silver-haired person standing not too far away from the group. She inspected the being, noting the tattooed dark blue crescent moon on his forehead and two maroon streaks on each cheek. From the maroon eyeshadow around the eyelids and the fur over the shoulder she concluded that the person before her was a female. That, however, changed when she took note of the type of clothing she wore. If her memory served right she was actually a male. Okay maybe he was flamboyant? Wanting to know the reason for their unease she headed to where Kagome stood. But she hadn’t even taken two steps when said man had his hands around her waist. She shrieked in fear from his sudden touch and tried to pry his hand from her body but its grip was tight as iron, pinning her to his body. Inuyasha and the others ran to her as she screamed, wide-eyed and panicking, but it was too late because without much effort he leapt into the air. 

Her heart slammed in her chest when she saw her friends getting smaller and smaller. Heights had never been her favourite thing, one mistake on a tall building and your body would be splattered across the floor below. Laden with anxiety she grabbed unto the man for dear life and silently prayed that he wasn’t going to let her go. Relief washed over her body when they landed a few minutes later in the nearby woods, but it was immediately replaced by anger. “Are you fucking crazy?!” she yelled while throwing her hands up. “What is wrong with the people of this time? Look here mister, you can’t just go around kidnapping people, it’s wrong. Didn’t your parents teach you better?” His silence did nothing but rile her anger even more. She cocked her hip and folded her arms over her chest. “Are you dumb? Do you not understand standard Japanese or do you by chance understand English? Who are you to kidnap someone?” His eyes flashed red and she instantly regretted uttering a word. What was this guy?

“This Sesshômaru does as he pleases,” he stated simply. Did he just say what she heard him say? She shook her head, “This is unbelievable.” This guy was seriously creepy and his constant, heavy staring was making her uncomfortable but she wasn’t about to shrink under his scrutiny. A subtle sign of disgust crossed his face and vanished just as soon as it had come which she would have missed if she had taken her eyes off him for but a second. What the hell was his problem? Was he a racist on top of being a kidnapper?? “Look, you ain’t a fine piece of ass either and if you have a problem with my appearance you should take whatever stick you currently have situated up your ass-” He had his hand around her neck before she could finish her statement. Memories of her past crashed into her as she tried to loosen his grip. Without warning tears pooled out of her eyes, remembering her helplessness as she lay trapped between the bed and her assaulter. Her bottom lip quivered as she subconsciously relived the nightmare. 

He released her instantly, causing her to land on the floor, gasping for air. She coughed as air filled her lungs, while a lump formed in her throat. It had been years since the incident and she had never let anyone know about her fear of men. She had always steeled her emotions whenever she found herself around them, but this was the first time one had come this close. The turmoil of her emotions was too much to control. “You should have just killed me,” she said softly, pulling her knees to her chest. Why did this have to happen to her? As a matter of fact why was she even alive? Depression slowly ate away at her emotions as she remembered her life after the event. The nightmares, the fear of every male she encountered, the feeling of relief when she cut herself, lifting the pain from her soul at least a little and not being able to fully confide in her mother. Oh god her mom, through all this mess she had forgotten about the one person she did care about. What kind of daughter was she? She ran her fingers through her tangled hair as she tried to fight back the tears that threatened to come back again. “Do not take your life lightly onna,” he said with a snarl.

She looked up at him with a scowl. “You don’t know anything about me nor what I went through so don’t hand me that bullshit.” He glared at her and she stared back into his amber eyes, unwavered by his menacing look. She flinched and buried her face back into her knees when he began to approach her. She squeezed her eyes shut and waited for another choke hold as even more memories flooded her mind. The pain between her legs, the sticky sensation of blood and semen running down her thighs, his sickening touch so cold against her skin… it was all there. The memory caused her skin to crawl and she began to shake her head and rub her arms while mumbling for him to stop. That was why he had kidnapped her, right?

A clatter caused her to look up and her eyes widened when she saw that he had removed the armor he was wearing. Agitated she watched as he pulled out his swords from his obi and placed them next to his feet. She was right, he had only brought her out here for one reason. Would Kagome and the others come to rescue her? She whimpered, shaking her head as she backed up into the tree. Her heart was beating a thousand miles per hour and there was no way to escape. Air hitched in her throat when he sat beside her and when he pulled her into his lap she went rigid. It was going to happen to her again and just like before she had no power to stop it. She jumped in surprise when he ran his fingers through her hair, tugging gently when he came across some knots. Was he petting her? Oh god, he was going to toy with her first. This could not be happening. 

“What is your name onna,” he said calmly. She was now more confused than ever. Didn’t he bring her out into the woods to have his way with her? The strokes through her hair stopped and she found her face being gently turned to meet his. “You will answer this Sesshômaru when asked a question, now answer,” he said sternly. “Anastasia,” she said softly. He released her face and she turned to face forward once more. The whole thing had her on edge. Was this his weird way of role play? “Speak,” he said as he continued to run his fingers through her hair. Speak? What was he talking about? She was too scared to ask but she was also afraid that if she didn’t speak he would hit her. She stuttered. “You are troubled, now speak,” he said. Realization dawned on her, he wanted her to tell her about what had happened to her when she was younger, but why would he care? He didn’t look like the type to lower himself to show sympathy for others. As if reading her mind he said, “This Sesshômaru cares not for your current state. This Sesshômaru is merely curious.”

He didn’t care but was curious... odd fella. “Onna.” he said, sounding irritated. She sighed, now that she knew he wasn’t going to hurt her, she felt a bit more relaxed. Although she didn’t want to talk about that terrifying time in her life she had no choice but to tell her story. “I was eight when it happened. I had just come home from school and my parents weren’t back from work yet so I headed to my room to get my homework done.” She furrowed her brows as she tried to push through the memories. “Um, I heard the doorbell ring so I went to see who it was because I knew my parents had a key to the house. When I opened the door I recognized the man standing outside as one of my dad’s business partners so I let him inside.” Her steady heartbeat started to increase as images of the man’s face came to her minds surface, as if the memory had just waited for an opportunity to escape the prison she had shut it in long ago. “He told me that my dad was expecting him. I believed him but I called my dad to let him know. I was always told that I was a bit mature for my age,” she laughed bitterly then frowned. Her features hardened as she continued. “My dad told me they would be home in fifteen minutes and that was all the time he needed.” She paused, she could hear her muffled screams as the memory played in her mind and she fought with herself to continue her story. “My mistake was going back to my room because my desk is faced away from the door so I can’t see the door whenever I’m doing my homework.”

She swallowed a lump that formed in her throat. “Ahh, I didn’t hear him when he came up the stairs and before I knew it he had me on my bed with his hand over my mouth.” The screams in her head grew louder as her heart rate increased and her breathing became rapid,. “I tried to kick him off of me but he had his body pinned on top of mine. He told me to behave as he pulled my underwear off, then he began to touch me.” She covered her mouth as the memory played over and over in her mind and she tried her best not to gag. “When he thought I was ready he slammed his thing between my thighs and continued until he spilled himself inside.” She could still feel the pain between her pelvis as if it was happening at that very moment and she pulled her knees back to her chest. “When he was done he told me to wipe myself and to never tell my parents because they wouldn’t believe me anyway.” She shook her head as tears cascaded down her face. “I was so scared. I was scared and I believed him and I never told my parents.” She wrapped her hands around her body, convulsing as her emotions spiraled out of control. He pulled her close to his body until she relaxed once more. “After the incident I became a shut in. My mother tried to talk to me but I never spoke about it, my dad on the other hand retaliated differently. He would hit me, scream at me whenever I didn’t speak up or didn’t talk to his associates whenever they came to the house. He thought I was being disrespectful and never took the time to figure out what was wrong with me.”

There was a moment of silence and surprisingly, she felt a lot better, even though it had been really difficult to relive the memory of her rape. “Thanks for listening,” she said with a soft sigh. Feeling compelled to reward him for his kindness she kissed him on his cheek. In a heartbeat she found herself on the soft bed of grass with him looming over her and a tiny bit of electricity ran through her body as he wiped the rest of her tears away. She was a bit startled by the change in his demeanor but his touch was gentle and strange enough, she felt safe. He gently rubbed his cheek against hers before planting a kiss on her lips. His lips were soft and the kiss sent tiny bits of electricity through her body. This new feeling, his soft caress left her in bliss so she welcomed it. The kiss went from soft to passionate, taking her off guard, as his tongue swiped against her lips demanding access into her mouth. Curious as to what he wanted she granted his wish. It was weird to feel his tongue explore her mouth and wrap around her own but it wasn’t unpleasant. 

Her nether region tingled as a fluttery warm feeling coursed through her body. He released their kiss, leaving her breathless before going to the nape of her neck where he planted soft licks and kisses. A soft moan escaped her lips as he continued to kiss her skin and ran his hand up her tank top, slipping under her bra and cupping her breast. He gave it a gentle squeeze then rubbed her nipple, causing her to moan louder as the sensation she felt earlier intensified. His gentleness with her seemed to take away her fears of a manly touch until she felt his hardness against her thigh. Her heart slammed into her chest as fear gripped her body once again, causing her to go rigid. He stopped his fondling immediately and pushed himself from her body. She could sense that he was perturbed and tried to console him but he growled at her and quickly put his armor back on. She scoffed, rolled her eyes and pulled down her tank top. What was his problem? She pushed herself from the floor and silently walked behind of him. A jumble of emotions left her confused by her own actions. Why did she allow him to touch her? She really didn’t know but thinking about it, she did know that she didn’t hate his touch.

As they continued to walk, back to the village, as she assumed, she studied his features noting the way he walked proudly yet elegantly, the shininess of his long flowy hair and the material he wore, all that had her conclude that he was from noble birth. No wonder he acted the way he did, demanding and such. But why was he not sitting in a castle somewhere? What would an aristocrat like him do in a tiny village as the one of Kagome and her friends? Maybe he was the brother Inuyasha had spoken of? She was brought out of her musings when she saw something flicker in the corner of her eye. She looked up to see him fly away and noticed that she wasn’t too far away from the village. Shrugging she began her journey to her other new acquaintances. 

Kagome came running towards her as she got closer to the village. “Are you okay?” Kagome asked, resting her hand on her shoulder. She shrugged her hand off of her shoulder, “Thanks for saving me.” Ana said through gritted teeth. Kagome laughed weakly as she scratched her head. “Sesshômaru is very intimidating and he and Inuyasha may not see eye to eye but he’s a noble person and wouldn’t hurt you unless you annoy him… Don’t worry, he won’t be coming back soon, he isn’t too fond of humans.” 

“Oh I see.”, she answered with mock-understanding, “You know, Kagome, you could have told me that before he kidnapped me, might have been easier on my heart, don’t you think? And why would you all be so nervous if he was such a noble person? Tell me that!” Her rant seemed to have taken Kagome off guard, she shrunk back a little before giving her answer. “Well, he might not have broken his habit of battling with Inuyasha over his sword, so…”, Kagome tried to console her, scratching her face. Then she bowed deeply “I’m really sorry if we scared you! Please forgive us, yes?” Literally everybody was crazy in this place. She petted Kagome’s shoulder, showing her that everything was alright and started thinking. With everything she now knew of Sesshômaru she wondered why he had done what he did. “So what happened?” Kagome asked betraying nothing of the meek demeanor she had shown just moments before. “Huh?” she asked, pretending to not understand what she was talking about. “What did he want with you?” she continued to ask, interrogating her. A rush of blood went to her cheeks as she remembered what had transpired earlier and she turned away from her. “Nothing, Kagome,” she said. “Oh come on I know how Sesshômaru operates and he wouldn’t capture you just to release you. What did he want from you?” Kagome asked. “I said nothing happened!” She didn’t mean to yell but she was afraid, that Kagome wouldn’t let it go otherwise. Kagome stopped asking her questions and the two made their way to where the others were. 

A few hours later Sesshômaru returned with a little girl and a toad looking thing, startling everyone. “Why are you here Sesshômaru?” Inuyasha asked, rising from his seat. “Inuyasha, he has Rin and Jaken, I don’t think he’s here to pick a fight,” Kagome said, putting a calming hand on his shoulder. Ana really didn’t want to be around that man, feeling betrayed by Kagome who had assured her, that he wouldn’t return she made her way back to the hut. It wasn’t even him and the things that had happened between them, maybe she could have coped with that, but the intense stares from the little girl and the toad individual were too much. She really didn’t have the nerve to explain her skin to yet another child. She wasn’t too far from the hut when his monotone yet very harsh voice stopped her in her tracks, “You should change, you look indecent.”   



	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another one! Yes it's going to be a rapid update since I have the chapters but couldn't upload till now

Ana blinked several times as she processed the statement she had just heard, replaying the word indecent over and over in her mind. The more she thought on that word the angrier she got. Indecent?…...he thought she was indecent!! That sounded very rich coming from the guy who had pounced her not too long ago, he didn’t think she was indecent then! She turned on her heels to meet the eyes that matched the disapproving voice, although the rest of his face remained placid. His apathetic facial expression added with his harsh tone of voice irked her to the core and she wanted nothing more than to punch him in that pretty face of his. Her legs moved before she was fully aware of it and by the time she realized it she was only a few inches away from him, staring up into his amber eyes that seemed to beg her to defy him. For the love of all things why was he so infuriating?! She wanted to scream at him, tell him to get off his high horse, something! But silence was the only thing that deafened her ears. Her hands curled up into tight fists at her sides and her teeth gritted in frustration. How could this guy, whom she just met, stir her emotions without any effort? This was ridiculous!

A hand on Ana’s shoulder pulled her out of the silence and the one-sided battle she was losing. The anger she had bottled up erupted and she yelled at the poor soul that tried to calm her. She went still when she saw Kagome, who stood, wide-eyed and silent at her side, making her regret her actions immediately. She sighed. “I’m so sorry Kagome. I didn’t….It wasn’t…” She sighed again and rubbed her temples. The jumbled emotions within her were clouding her train of thought. “It’s fine,” Kagome said with a surprisingly warm smile. How could this girl be so composed in a situation like this? Ana smiled softly but it was replaced by a scowl and serious expression when she remembered who stood a few inches from her. She turned to give him a piece of her mind but when she looked he was no longer there. Where the hell did he go? She looked around, spotting him sitting calmly under a nearby tree as if nothing had happened. Ana stood there in disbelief, did he expect her to do as he commanded just because he was nobility?! Oh hell nah!

Kagome tugged her arm, pulling her gaze away from the creature of darkness, something she now considered Sesshômaru to be. After a few steps Kagome stopped, “Why don’t you go with Sango to the next village to get something traditional to wear?” Ana stared at Kagome, mouth slightly ajar. Did she hear right? Did Kagome just take the side of the adversary? No. This was not the same Kagome she knew. Yep. The only explanation she had was that Kagome was being mind controlled by Sesshômaru. Ana felt her eye twitch and she was sure Kagome could read the expression just fine. “It’s just until he leaves,” Kagome insisted. “Leaves?! According to you he shouldn't even be here!” Ana squealed. “I know what I said, but to prevent any unnecessary altercations I think it would be best for you to just do as he says.” Ana couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She didn’t know what was worse, being in the presence of a egotistical authoritarian or following the commands of that egotistical authoritarian. Ana groaned, “Fine, fine…only because you asked and not because that dick head commanded it,” she said, thrusting her thumb in Sesshômaru's direction. Kagome nodded, then the two made their way to Sango who surprisingly had moved towards the icy being sitting under the tree. Well, apparently it was only surprising to herself, since Kagome’s face lit up in understanding and sympathy, when she got the slayers attention by carefully placing a hand on her shoulder. When Sango whipped around she was not quite fast enough to clear her face of her emotion. It almost hurt Ana physically seeing all that pain and longing in the strong womans eyes. Her mouth still moving as if wanting to call out, but the nervousness that had her fingers entwining also kept any words locked up behind her lips. That wasn’t the Sango she knew. She wondered why she was acting the way she was but didn’t contemplate the thought for too long. Anything related to that guy was something she wanted to stay out of. Sango gave Sesshômaru one last nervous glance before hesitantly agreeing to take her. “Let’s go,” Sango said to her, frustration clear in her voice, before calling for Kirara, interrupting the little cats play with Shippo and the little girl Sesshômaru had brought along.

Ana stared in awe as the little kitty transformed with a blaze, turning into a large saber-toothed cat and in one effortless swoop Sango jumped onto her. “Hop on,” Sango said with an outstretched arm. “Why?” Ana asked nervously. “She will fly us to the next village,” Sango said. “Fly?” Ana asked. “Yes, she flies, it’s the fastest way to get to the village and return.” Ana stared at Sango, there was no way in hell that she would climb onto that creature and possibly fall to her death. She’d already had her fill of flying for one day, but before she could protest Sango had pulled her onto the cat. 

Ana shrieked in terror as she felt Kirara’s muscles contract beneath her, propelling them to the skies with one mighty jump. She instinctively grabbed onto the now chuckling demon slayer, cursing under her breath as the wind whipped across her face. Heart pounding, eyes shut, Ana gripped onto Sango as if she was her lifeline. “You know you can let go now,” Sango said, “We landed.” 

“Oh,” Ana chuckled nervously as she removed her arms from around the slayers waist, she hadn’t felt the ride of terror end. “You know you don’t have to be afraid of Kirara, she’s harmless.” 

“That’s not the issue, I don’t like heights,” she mumbled softly. “Oh,” Sango said apologetically, “I didn’t know-”

“It’s fine,” Ana said, cutting her off, “Let’s just get this thing over with,” she groaned. This was going to be a long and painful process and she knew that, she herself didn’t like the idea of following that flamboyant bastards command and apparently Sango had no interest whatsoever in making this an enjoyable shopping trip. Sango nodded and the two made their way towards the inside of the village. 

Ana bit her bottom lip as they made their way towards the inside of the village. Why didn’t Sesshômaru’s touch bother her? Any other man she came close to since the incident would trigger a way different reaction within her. Why did it have to be someone like him? But maybe playing around with him wouldn’t be so bad. She grimaced when she realized where her thoughts were headed. If he wasn’t such an asshole, maybe. She looked up at Sango who seemed to be just as deep in thought as she was. What the hell was going on between her and Sesshômaru? Did they have a thing? She couldn’t do that to a friend, although they haven’t been friends for too long. Her pondering came to an end when a few children ran up to her, touched her and ran away in a fit of giggles, it caught her by surprise, but the innocence and sheer bliss that played on their faces warmed her heart until she heard a screech. A mother, laden with fear and anger grabbed each child by the shoulder, shaking them violently. She yelled at them, scolding their carelessness, telling them that they will have to take an extra long bath to get rid of the disease they caught by touching a demon cursed woman. Ana stood there, unable to process the words the woman just said. It was then she realized what was going on all around her, the villages mains street was mostly empty, the few people still outside were pressed against huts and barrels, really anything they could find to hide from her. Some sun kissed faces pale with fear, while others scrunched up in disgust. She even spotted some hidden sets of eyes trying to sneak a peek at her from the safety of their own houses. 

What the hell?!? Ana had to take a long, deep breath to curb the anger and irritation that threatened to explode so she could gather her thoughts. It seemed as if these people were very superstitious so anything new or odd who be something bad. Yeah, that must be the case because no one could be that ignorant. Her hands curled up into a fist but a grip on her shoulder from Sango made her rethink her decision to lash out at everyone around her. The slayer shook her head, pulling her from the suspicious crowd so that they could search for a vendor, any vendor, but they got turned away with some ridiculous excuse while a few were more straightforward with their fear of her. It took every ounce of self control she had for her to get through the constant rejection, but after what felt like hours of searching they found a kind old lady who was willing to give them service.

Her face, withered from both aging and the sun, had a warm smile that made her forget all the crap she had been going through. Hunched over from years of carrying heavy objects, the lady ushered them into her little shop. Her toothless smile reflected the empty shelves that laid before them. Though small and filled with more empty shelves than cloth, it was clean. Her hands, filled with aging spots gently caressed the material as she showed them what little valuables she had. Ana looked over the selection of linen and cottons before choosing a simple blue cotton yukata. “Fine choice,” the keeper said as she picked up the yukata. She looked over at Sango for any sign of approval to the attire she chose but the girl was in a daze. That behaviour was starting to agitate her. “Do you need help putting this on?” the aged shopkeeper asked kindly, pulling her attention from Sango. Ana nervously accepted the offer before the keeper’s rough hand gently wrapped around hers, leading her to the back of the shop, where Sango arrived a few moments later.

“Would you remove your clothing, dear?” the lady said with a smile. Ana paused, reluctant to comply to the simple command but a reassuring nod from Sango calmed her nerves and she did as she was told. It was nerve racking to watch the old woman walk around her, nodding to herself from time to time as if contemplating on what to do next. She jumped when she felt a tug at her bra. “I would rather keep this on,” she said politely. The lady gave her a confused look but never questioned her about the bra, then began to wrap a piece of cloth around her waist. “You have good, wide, child bearing hips with big chest and broad shoulders, but that’s none of anybody’s business to know. Have to conceal them a bit.” Ana looked at the woman, more confused than ever. “ It isn’t good to show curves,” Sango said, as if far away. “Ahh..” Ana said as she nodded in understanding. “Next is the nagajuban, so your sweat won’t ruin that new Yukata of yours” the lady continued, as she slipped a white material over her arms. The soft fabric hung loosely on her arms and slipped past her ankles, making her feel like a child in a big t-shirt. She may have known the differences between women and men clothing in Japan but what was under it, she had no clue and somehow she suspected the woman knew that, after all she was quite elaborate about what she was doing. “Thank you,” she whispered to her as she began to tie the strings inside the garment, again explaining her every move. 

“Now for the yukata,” she said, after tying the undergarment and slipped the blue cotton fabric over her arms, pulling the left flap around her waist then the right flap, adjusting the length of the yukata accordingly. She tied a piece of string over the material to keep it in place before taking a thick white obi, wrapping it tightly around her hip and tying it into a bow. The woman hummed as she tucked and pulled the material without much effort until it was neatly in place.

Ana truly was grateful for the old shopkeepers help, seeing how Sango wasn’t of much use, but still, she did not really pay attention to all the little details, she was too distracted with all her thoughts. From time to time she glanced at Sango and she wasn’t sure if she should be worried or angry. With each passing minute the slayer seemed to grow more and more distant. What was it that upset her? She remembered the hurt that filled her eyes a few hours ago. Did she find out about her and Sesshômaru? Was her presence that vexing? It wasn’t her fault, that the dog was a lecher! But she also had had that look of longing. Shouldn’t she have been happy if she was able to see Sesshômaru again? Maybe they had ended on a bad note? “All done,” the woman said. She could finally move. “How about a pair of geta to finish the look?” the lady asked. Ana’s eyes widened in horror when she saw the pair of wooden shoes with two blocked heels at the front. They looked painfully uncomfortable so she politely refused. 

The experience would have been more enjoyable if she didn’t have so many thoughts in her mind, but overall it felt nice to be in traditional Japanese wear. She, however, would never admit that out loud, and was about to leave until the woman sat her down and began to fix her hair. She didn’t like the idea of someone she didn’t know touching her hair but she didn’t want to seem disrespectful after the lady was kind enough to help her find and put on her outfit, everyone else had refused them after all. It was tough and the old hag apparently had lost any reserve towards her as she hackled through her hair, cursing whenever yet another comb surrendered in face of her truly unruly hair. “You look beautiful, child.” the woman said when she was done with her hair, leaving it in a neat bun in the back of her head. “Thank you,” Ana said with a smile as a rush of blood hit her cheeks, it was nice to get complemented from time to time. Sango paid the lady and then the two left with a slight bow and a wave goodbye. 

“It looks good and all, but I really don’t get why I have to wear this thing when Kagome prances around naked.” Ana complained again walking on the deserted streets of the village. When she didn’t get a reply from Sango she stopped. This had gone far enough, what was happening? “What the hell?” she called out to a moving Sango. “Kagome isn’t naked,” Sango said defending her friend.“Okay she may be indecent but she isn’t naked,” the slayer admitted after seeing her blank look. Ana shook her head, “That isn’t even my point. What’s wrong with you?”

“What? Me?” Sango asked, pointing to her nose. “I’m fine.”

“Stop bullshitting me Sango. Did Sesshômaru do something to you?” The look of hurt and longing played across Sango’s face once more and she became silent. “It’s nothing of importance so drop it,” Sango said harshly before walking away. Ana stood in her position, shocked. “If that dickhead-”

“I said drop it!” Sango snapped, cutting her off. Ana went silent but the whole situation still bugged her. Kirara, who was at her masters feet transformed at her command. Ana stood her ground, “If something is bothering you, you can tell me.” Sango looked at her, irritation still evident in her facial expression, “If you don’t drop it I’ll leave you here.”

“Fine.” Ana said through gritted teeth. She may not have been fond of heights, but the prospect of having to find a way back by herself didn’t sit well with her either “So, how did you come to know Kirara? She is really wonderful,” she said trying to change the subject. Sango however just shook her head, chastening her with silence.

 

                                                                                                                         -oOo-

Sesshômaru shuddered when he sensed someone bad mouthing his person. It seemed as if someone was foolish enough to insult him and he had an idea of who that someone was. Fortunately for him Rin had ran off with Jaken and the kitsune so he was able to ponder on his actions from earlier. Her spicy, sweet scent which reminded him of cherry blossoms and cinnamon, the high contrast of his skin against hers, her luxuriant curly hair that seemed to match her untamed personality, but most of all the feel of her body under his. It had felt right and much more pleasant than Kagura. His heart rate and breathing increased as he unconsciously swept his tongue across his lips, reminding him of the taste of the kiss he had received from Ana. He stopped instantly when he realized his thoughts, he had no time to succumb to mundane desires, not again. What was it about that woman that pulled him in? What about her unusual miko powers? A huff coming from deep within him demanded his attention. 

There his beast stood, tall and proud, a manner expected of him but something was different, it was as if he knew something he didn’t know and was excited to let it be known to the world. “Is there something you know that this Sesshômaru doesn’t?” he asked calmly. “She’s great isn’t she? And she smells wonderful!” Sesshômaru's expression hardened. “She?” he asked with an arched eyebrow, confused as to who his beast could be referring to. “Anastasia, she would make the perfect mate for us!” Sesshômaru's world stopped as the words of his beast echoed in his mind. So this was the reason for his unnatural behavior and bizarre sexual hunger. This could not be happening, the great and mighty Sesshômaru shouldn’t be paired up with a mere ningen and an odd one at that. “She isn’t odd, she is beautiful,” his beast growled, angered by his insulting description of the girl. “This Sesshômaru will not be mating with such a vulgar woman.”

“What has been done cannot be undone.” With that last statement his beast left, leaving him in the vastness of his mind to contemplate the words of his demon form. He knew there was a rare chance for a dog demons beast to choose the mate but never in his life had he thought that it could happen to him. Anger coursed through his body the longer he thought about his demon’s choice and he left his meditative state feeling betrayed. He knew he couldn’t run away from the problem, his beast was right, it couldn’t be undone. Once a dog demons beast chose a mate that was the only person they would want or even think about, that’s what he remembered from the scrolls he read. The quick approaching demonic aura of the slayers cat pulled him out of his musings and he watched as it landed gracefully a few meters in front of him. 

His eyes landed instantly on Ana, the simple yukata complimented her nicely, even though it was obviously cheap. She looked troubled and the demon slayer seemed to be angry, she shouldn’t be, he was more than capable of overseeing the boy and the boy was more than capable of taking care of himself. He really couldn’t understand human emotion, if the boys lacking presence bothered the woman so much, why would she not ask? He had not deemed the slayer one to be easily dissuaded from her goals, not by propriety at least.

“Look, if there is something going on between you and Sesshômaru keep me out of it. I don’t think you should be mad at me for something that he did, I didn’t even know at the time!” The slayer’s face dropped, so did his. This was preposterous! 


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, so it continues........ I forgot I don't own any of the characters except Ana. Thank you

Did she just pair him up with a mere human and a demon slayer at that?! She was being just as absurd as his beast. Frustration rekindled and intertwined with the anger he had felt earlier, the loud laughter from his brother wasn’t making the situation any better. The insolent mongrel would learn, he pushed himself from the ground and headed into the direction of the impotent halfbreed. “Draw your sword, Inuyasha,” he growled as he unsheathed Tensaiga. “Hmph, now that sounds more like the Sesshômaru I know,” Inuyasha said with a grin, giving his miko a light push for her to stand out of harm’s way. “Move out of the way Kagome, it’s time to take this fucker down.” 

Sesshômaru thrusted his sword forward, slashing the side of Inuyasha’s cheek. “Hmph, using Tensaiga eh, seems as if you’re going soft on me. Don’t treat me as a weakling Sesshômaru, I have gotten stronger.” Sesshômaru only huffed, angering his little brother even further by his lack of speech. Inuyasha ran forward, leapt into the air, forcefully bringing down their fathers fang. He blocked the attack effortlessly, pushing Inuyasha a few feet away, but the boy kept coming. Good, he needed him to keep attacking, to distract him from the words his beast had dared to plant in his mind. He sidestepped the move but Inuyasha counteracted, sending his foot backwards, hitting him in the stomach. It seemed as if the pup had read his move, a coincidence, he was sure. He rushed towards him and Inuyasha mimicked the action but Sesshômaru leaped into the air, bringing his sword down towards him. Inuyasha prepared his weapon wanting to block his move but at the last moment Sesshômaru backflipped, sending the heel of his foot into the back of his brothers head. Inuyasha landed with a thud, leaving a small crater in the earth below. “You can’t be serious, Sesshômaru, jumping you like some untrained dog?” a small voice gasped, disbelief evident in her voice. ”I honestly always thought he was more the celibate type.” The audacity- a sharp sting in his head interrupted his thought process, as he landed face first in the dirt. He growled and glared at the miko who seemed to be interrogating Ana while Inuyasha laughed heartily, gasping something along the lines of him not being so high and mighty now in between laughs. 

He pushed himself from the ground, wiping the mud from his face. How dared they make fun of him? And how in the world could he let himself go to this extent? The last time he had missed a step like that had to have been back when he still was a pup! This was not acceptable. It took him a great deal of concentration to reign in his facial expression when he faced his measly brother again. Time to teach the runt a lesson. The gossipers would face their punishment later. “Are you quite done, Inuyasha?” he asked, his voice betraying nothing of the humiliation and rage he felt. His brother scuffed “Keh, don’t think amma let you live that down, fucker!” the mutt laughed, eloquently as always, before he charged at him again. The boy had become faster since their last fight. When he was close he thrusted his elbow out, hitting Inuyasha in the chest, causing him to stagger backwards and land on the floor. Sesshômaru slammed his sword towards him but Inuyasha blocked it. “I think the question we all want to know is if he’s a good kisser.” the slayer’s question had Sesshômaru's head pop up, the resistance under his sword diminishing, sending his sword to the ground below. He cursed inwardly, this was not the time to get distracted by mere gossip. He could not fail like that a second time. Inuyasha rushed towards him once more and the two clashed swords, Inuyasha had become stronger as well, but there still was no way for him to come even close to his own strength. 

The monks lewd laughter hit his sensitive ears, making him dread the words to come, but he was prepared, no matter what that pervert would say Sesshômaru refused to let it influence or distract him. In fact it was probably good that the monk had alerted him beforehand! “You know, with him acting all high and mighty, bossing people around, he’s probably rough in the sheets. Now you are obviously into beastiality, otherwise Sesshômaru would be a weird choice, but how about some Master- Slave thing, what about Shibari, are you int-?” Sesshômaru froze in his tracks, eyes widening at the monk’s words and in that split second Inuyasha got the upper hand, disarming him in an instant. He stood there in disbelief as Tensaiga flew a few feet from his grasp. How? “Oh cut it out, Miroku, I just said I couldn't even imagine Sesshômaru having sex, and now you start with the kink,” the miko said. His eye twitched as a sharp pain coursed through his body, pulling him out of his state of shock from the indecent mockery Inuyasha’s little band subjected him to. He paused as he looked down at the Tessaiga, its huge blade protruding out of his abdomen with a proud Inuyasha at its handle. A surge of power from the sword pulsed through him, causing every fiber of his being to stand on edge. His abdominal muscles contracted, as another wave of energy pulsed from the blade, as his muscles tried to push the fang out of his body before any permanent damages could occur. He knew of that too well and it would not happen again. Another pulse of demonic energy surged through him, his vision blurring as his power drained.

A growl of annoyance grumbled through Sesshômaru as the smell of triumph and surprise wafted off of Inuyasha in waves. A flash of power surged through him and he kicked Inuyasha in the chest sending him flying along with his sword. Sesshômaru staggered for a bit as blood gushed out of his wound, the mutt would pay for this. Inuyasha skidded to a halt then charged at him once more, how foolish. It was time to end this. He waited for the right moment before striking the fatal blow. As Inuyasha got within inches of his body, he half turned and grabbed Tessaiga, the pain of rejection being nothing compared to the burning in his body, the aftermath of having that demon hating sword embedded deep within, then he slammed his palm into his brother's face. At the speed Inuyasha was running a simple move like that was effective enough. Tessaiga lost power and clattered to the floor while it’s owner followed a few seconds after. He huffed, the boy had indeed grown stronger, he would never admit to it but he was proud of him, even though he still lacked grace.

A shaky, charred hand travelled to where his wound still dripped blood, his ability to quickly regenerate seemed to have diminished for now just like it had the first time he got injured by Tessaiga. “Sesshômaru-sama, you’re injured! That half breed!”

“Jaken,” he said in a tired yet stern voice causing the imp to go silent. “Sesshômaru-sama?” He turned to see Rin with Tenseiga in her hands and worry in her eyes. Gently patting her on the head, he took the sword from her as his eyes made contact with Ana’s which seemed to be filled with concern and a bit of embarrassment. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the conversation itself or because she had realized that he had heard every bit of it. Sesshômaru huffed then sheathed his sword, how could he have been so foolish as to let himself get distracted? He turned and headed in the direction of his tree, wincing in pain as he sat in its shade. 

The fight played in his mind as he recalled its shameful events. His eagerness to please, the humiliation he felt. He paused, eagerness, humiliation? It was then that he realized that he had been unconsciously trying to impress Anastasia with his skills as he fought his brother. This was unacceptable, this Sesshômaru did not aim to please. It was time for his beast to know who of the two was really in control. “It was necessary to put in the extra effort because Anastasia was watching,” his inner demon said defending their actions. With narrowed eyes he glared at his beast, anger slowly rising within him once more. “I, Sesshômaru need not to push myself for the likes of a ningen as she for I, Sesshômaru am perfect.” His beast huffed and withdrew to the depths of his subconsciousness once again. 

His eyes opened in a flash, a cough erupting from his chest, blood spotting his hand as he withdrew it from his mouth. As he thought, the wound would take a while to heal completely. He looked around, spotting Rin and Jaken curled together beside Ah-Un, it was still rather early morning. He slowly rose, growling softly as pain radiated from his wound through his body. Cinnamon and japanese cherry blossom. His head rose to see Ana leaving the old miko’s hut. Ignoring his body’s demand to rest and his beast’s low happy growl, he silently followed behind her, curious as to what she could be up to at this early hour. They wandered through the woods for a few minutes until she stopped. He froze. Tears? She needed to stop with the tears that was a sign of weakness although he never perceived her as weak, fragile, but not weak. He snarled silently when his best whined within him, he knew what it wanted but he wasn’t about to entertain him. “These woods are dangerous,” he said, pulling attention to himself. Her head snapped towards him, heart pounding with adrenaline as her body went into a defensive stance. She was prepared to fight for her life? Brave woman. She scuffed when she recognized him, wiping her tears with her sleeve. “Do you always intrude on a person’s private moment?” His teeth clenched, her stark remark laced with annoyance reminding him of her unruly attitude. They stood there silently as the crisp morning breeze flowed between them. She shifted, concern? He sniffed the air again, noticing how she glanced at his wound, her lips parting to ask a question but never uttering a word. “Are you just going to stand there? Why did you follow me?” Irritation danced on her face as he kept his silence, her agitation growing as the time passed.

Seeing her irritated because of his presence was a bit unsettling, but she wanted time to herself, understandable. After all, he wasn’t her guardian. He turned and left, concealing his powers as he drew back several feet and watched her from a distance as she went through a series of emotions, sadness being the most prevalent. What was with humans and their uncontrolled emotions? He would never understand. When she finally settled down he carefully followed behind her as she retraced her steps back to the village. By the time they arrived the sun was above the horizon. Inuyasha rushed towards her asking her why she went into the woods all by herself and whether she was crazy. For once he and his brother agreed on something. She was safe now and his mind was at ease.

The afternoon sun, warm against his skin was soothing. For several hours Rin ran back and forth from where she played with the kitsune back to the tree to check up on him. Her loyalty to him was honorable and it reminded him of the first time they had met. He simply nodded his head to show her that he was in fact alright before she dashed down the slope once more. “Alright Sesshômaru, it has been a couple of days. Ana doesn’t want you so leave.” Inuyasha’s words echoed in his mind, the smug look of confidence on Inuyasha's face adding to his irritation. “Your inflicted wound to this Sesshômaru doesn’t prevent me from killing you.” 

“Alright lover boy, since you’re so great fight me, now.” He had planned on engaging in a little battle training later when he was sure his wound was healed but now was a good time. He rose from his seat, revealing nothing of the pain he felt. His eyes met with Ana’s and an idea formulated, he knew this would make Inuyasha push himself a lot more than normal. “Inuyasha, if you defeat me I will leave immediately.” The smile on his face indicated that they had a deal. They fought, just like they had done before, but this time without the gossip. 

Sesshômaru scoffed as he held the tip of Tensaiga at Inuyasha’s throat. “You actually believe you could win against this Sesshômaru when you don’t think before you attack?” He had to admit he did do better than yesterday, but just as before he would not be matching his power any time soon. He wasn’t surprised when Ana came to watch the fight but his beast was ecstatic. Pain shot through his body, and he quickly turned from Inuyasha who said something about getting him next time. He looked down to see blood seeping into his haori. Knowing that Inuyasha would ask a question he wasn’t going to answer he quickly returned to his tree. “Sesshômaru-sama, your wound, it wasn’t healed. It’s the power Tessaiga, it’s preventing you from healing quickly.” He snarled at the imp, of course he knew that already. “Jaken, leave,” he said coldly. He had pushed a little too much although he made a conscious decision not to. He would rest for the remainder of the day.

Screaming pulled him out of his meditative state. In the distance a man stood protectively between his wife, child and Ana. Fear rolled off of them in waves as the man prepared himself to strike. His beast stood at attention, ready to attack but he caught himself and watched as she signaled for the monk and the rest of them to stay away before straightening herself and saying, “You should be afraid for a powerful witch like myself could strike you dead at any moment.” The man flinched at her words but she kept going, raising her hands as a sign of peace, before beckoning to old miko to her side. “This miko by my side is my friend, I have lived with her for a while now so she knows I’m a good witch. If you do not take my word for it ask her.” The man looked at the old miko who nodded in acceptance. He stood there for a while, uneasy and skeptical but relaxed thereafter. “Now, you may pass peacefully through this village and let me warn you, if you ever tell anyone about me, I will find out and will curse your family.” Without a second glance she returned back to the hut confident that her words would remain with the man forever. 

Cunning and intelligent, wasn’t she? He huffed in approval of her little scheme, his beast had truly picked a peculiar mate for them. Using the people’s allegation of her being a witch against themselves to protect herself and getting the old miko to cooperate peacefully, rather smart of her.

That evening he sat under his tree alone, Rin had let him know that Ana invited her to stay with her for the night and he approved. He knew she would be safe but sending Jaken was an added bonus for some quiet time. His wound still throbbed and was sensitive but for the most part it was healing. Rin seemed to have taken a liking to Ana, the fact that she was excited to stay with someone other than himself was proof of that. Maternal and tactical instincts? What other surprises lay within that woman? 

Morning came quickly and just as the day before Inuyasha was ready to fight so he could prove to him that he was stronger. Just like before he failed but that was expected, however he was steadily improving. He even did a little thinking before attacking, proving that their fights were not a complete waste. The only thing about today that bothered him was Ana’s lacking presence for the entire fight. He knew she was there in the beginning but by the end of it she was nowhere near the battle scene. He scowled then returned to his tree, his wound had reopened again. This was becoming a burden, if the wound wouldn’t heal anytime soon it may start to affect his fighting ability. “Sesshômaru-sama, why do you still fight in this condition? Why are we still here we should have left this wretched human village a long time-” 

“Jaken, utter one more word and I’ll cut your tongue out. Do not question me.” The imp bowed deeply then apologized before heading to where Rin sat with the kitsune. Why was he still here? He gave Inuyasha a proposal and he hadn’t completed it. No, that couldn’t have been it, he knew it would take an eternity for the boy to surpass his level of power, so why? The smell of blood stopped his train of thought. Rin’s blood?! No! He raced towards where she was, stopping in surprise when Ana came into view with the girl in her arms looking at the wound on her leg while wiping her tears away. “Are you okay Rin? Don’t worry I’ll make it better,”Ana said to her as she combed through her hair, comforting her. With shaky hands and panic still running through her veins she picked up Rin and dashed towards the hut. “Jaken,” he called out through clenched teeth, pulling out his bakusaiga ready to cut the imps head off. “Explain.” He held the tip of his sword at the toads neck. “Sesshômaru-dono,-” he stuttered, “I warned her not to climb so high in the tree, she didn’t listen and slipped. The kitsune was able to catch her before she landed but she wounded her leg. Please Sesshômaru-dono don’t kill me.” His anger diminished but it wasn’t appeased. That child knew no fear sometimes, she had approached him without fear when they had first met. He shook his head then turned, leaving the imp confused and afraid, then headed to where Rin was. Ana came out instead, head tilted down, her eyes never looking at him. The smells of concern, relief and nervousness intermingled around her, “She’s fine, a little in shocked from the fall and on the verge of sleep. Um...it wasn’t a big wound, it’s bandaged up, she’ll be good as new.” It was rather uncomfortable to see her in such a fearful position. Fearful of him, something that disturbed his soul just as if it were Rin and he wanted to tilt her head so she could look in his eyes but refrained himself from doing so. Instead he walked back to his tree, exchanging no words not even a note of thanks.

The next morning Rin limped up the slope with a broad smile on her face as if she wasn’t in pain. “Rin?”

“Rin’s okay Sesshômaru-sama, Ana-sama took really good care of Rin and she showed Rin how she did it.” Ana-sama? What was the little girl implying? He sighed silently, back to her normal self indeed. “Oh, why don’t Rin get Ana-sama to take care of your wound?” He froze. Before he could stop her she dashed down the slope, as best as she could with her wound, towards Ana. “Rin!” Ana gasped when she jumped into her arms. “Sesshômaru-sama, he-” she panted. “Wow, catch your breath. Rin you can’t run on your leg you’ll reopen the wound,” she told her sternly. Rin paused, looking up apologetically at her before bowing and apologizing. “No Rin, no need to apologize, just be careful ok,” Ana said, setting the girl upright. Rin smiled at her then whispered into her ear. Ana’s eyes looked in his direction before she lifted her head from Rin. “Um, I really don’t think he would want that, but for you I will try at least.” Rin squealed in delight before they both entered the hut. “Don’t worry, Ana-sama, Sesshômaru-sama is really nice, if he likes you, Rin means, sometimes he even lets Rin sleep on his fur! And when Rin”, Rins bubbling voice was drowned out by the sounds of them rummaging about the hut. Across the lands his name put terror in the hearts of humans and demons alike and then there was Rin, who did her best to portray him as a fluffy little puppy. He wasn’t mad at her for it, he couldn’t be, but he was certain that the girl would be the death of him. A few minutes later they exited the hut, Ana with some supplies in her arms and a sceptical look on her face, Rin next to her tugging at her arm until they reached to where he was. 

“Ana-sama is here to help,” Rin said proudly. He said nothing, what could he say? She did this all for him. He nodded to her thankfully as Ana placed her items on the floor before kneeling down beside Rin. “Rin, honey,” she said, cupping the girl’s face. “Why don’t you go down and get some breakfast with the others while I patch this guy up.” Rin looked at him then back to Ana before breaking into a smile and heading down the slope. “I do not need your help,” he told her when Rin was far enough away from them. Ana’s telltale scent of cinnamon and cherry blossom riled his beast, tickled his nose and caused his heart to race. Inhaling deeply he relished in the scent, closing his eyes before snarling at himself to gain control. “You sir are hurt. This is for Rin not you, so stop being stubborn.”

“I will heal on my own,” he said sternly. His muscles tensed within him and his beast growled in acceptance to her sharp tongue. For all kamis why was his beast aroused at this moment? He grabbed her wrist when she tried to touch him, looking into her warm dark brown eyes as she stared back into his. “Just let me take a look,” she said softly. “For what purpose?” She frowned, “It seems as if Rin has more faith in me than you do. I am aware of the fact that you heal by yourself, but you can’t deny, that it’s been quite a while now, can you, Mister?” There she was again, loud, obnoxious and right in his face. He would have killed anyone else for only one of these offenses, but since it was her, his beast reacted anything but murderous. “My mother was a nurse, she taught me how to treat wounds properly, it will heal quicker. Just let me be of service.” Her voice was much quieter now, softer. Her words were sad, of course, the woman missed her mother, but that wasn’t all he could read from this statement. She wanted to help him and went the diplomatic route to try convincing him. Catering to his status, she was quite accommodative of his mood and behaviour, a desired quality for the future Lady of the West.

“And don’t you dare say anything about modesty, I can recall a certain someone being quite immodest a few days ago,” she said blankly. He froze, remembering the act as if it were just yesterday, there she went ruining his good impression of her. Did she have to remind him of his lack of discipline? A muscle under his eye twitched, for once he was at a loss for words. He paused as he was about to unlatch his armor, staring blankly at her. “Seriously, you’re getting shy now?” He said nothing. “You’re acting as if I’m not going to see what’s beneath it.” It was bad enough that she was able to convince him to de-robe, she won’t have the pleasure of seeing him in the process, although his beast didn’t object. She chuckled before turning away from him.

He quickly removed his armour, haori and the layers beneath, placing them neatly next to him before clearing his throat to indicate for her to turn around. Her eyes widened in awe as she looked at the demonic markings on his body, his beast’s head rose when he smelled the fine traces of her arousal. Her heart rate elevated as she continued to look over his flesh. Was she not conscious of her persistent stare? It hadn’t occurred to him that he was also staring until his eyes landed on her lips which were now moist from her biting them. A shiver ran through his body, his beast approved of the way she stared longingly at him. Her breathing, now airy with a slackened jaw sent it into a frenzy. He howled and panted within him like some untrained mutt, then stood, showing himself off as if she could see him. A twitch of her eyebrow and lip showed she approved of what she saw and his beast was more than proud that she did. Heart racing frantically from his beasts sudden decision to parade within him, his eyes widened as a rush of blood hit his face and he looked away from her, tsking in annoyance from his uncontrolled emotions. What was that? He had never experienced something like that before. “You are staring,” he said in his usual monotone voice as he tried to calm himself. 

She gasped and swallowed as she caught herself, her brows furrowing as she shook her head and cleared her throat, her face flushed from what had occurred between them a short moment ago. “It’s not healing and you fought with Inuyasha like that?!” she screeched, reverting back to her unruly nature, if only to hide her appreciation of his body. His eyes narrowed, at her words, however, was she his mother? The last time his mother had spoken to him in such a manner was when he was a mere pup and that had been a  **very** long time ago. “Lay down,” she commanded. He paused and she noticed, “Please, lay down,” she repeated, gently pushing his chest. A small flow of electricity played across his skin as her fingertips grazed his chest causing the odd rush of blood to his cheeks once again. This new experience he was having was not a result of his beasts interference and he knew it. He complied, laying back on the soft earth awaiting instructions from the woman. She gently tugged at his hakama and before he could react she asked,“Do you trust me?” Her voice was a bit menacing as if she had something planned for him but it also sounded concerned as if she really wanted his trust. Another side of her he’d never seen. Before he could reply she said, “This may hurt a bit.” Cold liquid hit his skin and a growl escaped his lips as the pungent smell hit his sensitive nose and the liquid fizzled around the wound. “I honestly thought you wouldn’t even feel it,” she said, humor evident in her voice. He glared at her and she returned an equally menacing glare. “This Sesshômaru did not feel anything, the smell however is putrid.” This female must have been looking for her death. A warning growl from deep within indicated his beasts disapproval to this thought but he ignored it. “Don’t move,” she commanded before turning to pick up something that had the smell of healing herbs mixed with other substances he wasn’t familiar with, then she rubbed the odd, clear mixture onto his wound. It smelled even worse than the liquid. He unconsciously flinched as her fingertips gently massaged the area around the wound before she placed a material similar to the one on Rin’s leg over it. “Luckily it isn’t infected but if you keep fighting the way you do this won’t heal.” She got up and left, not waiting for him to say anything. 

He did what he was told, an unusual behavior but Ana was right. Yes, something he had to admit but he knew when to accept some kind of defeat. Arms folded with one leg stretched out in front of him, he watched her from under his shaded tree as she splashed water on the plants in the old miko’s garden. She hadn’t approached him again after she had fixed his wound earlier that day. It was a bit unsettling since his beast craved for her presence and although he wouldn’t admit it, having her close was satisfying to some sense of the term. His head toppled backwards, resting on the tree’s bark, if he did mate with her would she be able to live without humans around? There was Rin but she was merely a child, would that be enough? Would she be able to adjust to noble life enough to become the lady of the west? Did humans even mate for life? In his culture that was normal, would she be able to accept that? Why would his beast choose a human when they were so fickle? Being fickle was the least of the many problems, she was a human, they had a very short lifespan compared to demons. His eyes widened with fear. A dead mate? No! It was bad enough that he had lost Rin once, getting close to Ana only to see her wither away and die… was his beast trying to break him? He did have the Tensaiga, but that would not work with natural deaths. He paused, this was not the time to think about death. 

Jaken and Rin walked up the slight slope, with some odd looking, sweets? If he remembered correctly that was what the young miko had called them. He welcomed the distraction, he needed it after all. Rin sat on the floor, a few inches from him, while Jaken sat next to her, examining the treat in his hands. “ Sesshômaru-sama,” Rin asked softly, twiddling her thumbs, “Would it be okay if Rin combed your hair?” He looked at the girl, her head slightly tilted downwards so that her eyes couldn’t meet his. She had never asked him such a question and it took him a moment to reply, Jaken however knew exactly what to make of this, “You little brat, Sesshômaru-sama would never let you-” His fist bared down on the imps head, instantly shutting him up. He nodded to Rin, indicating his approval but regretted it for just a moment when she squealed in delight, causing him to cringe from the sudden invasion of noise to his sensitive ears. “Rin,” he said sternly. The girl stopped instantly then proceeded to run her tiny fingers across his scalp and down the length of his hair. The action was rather soothing. Usually, he wouldn’t condone this type of behavior towards his person, but he wanted his ward happy. 

Uncertainty and a bit of fear floated in the air, he paused, sniffing the air once more, he had to make sure his sense of smell wasn’t failing him. His heart skipped a beat, what was she uncertain of? More so, what was she afraid of? “Speak, Rin.” She hesitated before speaking up, “Umm, Rin knows that Kohaku is sad and Rin hates to see her friend sad. A sad friend makes Rin sad, too. Kohaku has saved Rin before so Rin thinks it’s only fair to repay Kohaku for his kindness.”

“Rin,” he interrupted with his usual monotone voice. He knew she understood that it was time for her to stop her rambling and to convey the point she was trying to make. It was clear that she wanted something from him. She freed her tiny fingers from his hair and stuttered, “Could you let Sango know where he is so they can see each other?” His brows furrowed when he saw her bowing deeply before him. “There is no need for you to do that Rin,” he said calmly petting her hair. The action was partly amusing but disturbing at the same time, Rin wasn’t some low creature to bow to him in such a manner. She was his ward. He pondered on the question for a moment, it was not his business to meddle in the affairs of humans and Rin knew that, but if it upset her he wouldn’t mind. “I see,” he replied simply. An annoyed growl escaped his lips when Rin’s squeal hit his ears once again. She stopped then apologized, he could hear the sincerity in her voice. Sighing silently he tipped his head, granting her permission to continue combing his hair.

Ana’s soothing scent floated in the air adding to the comfort that Rin was providing him with. He closed his eyes remembering when she was in his arms, he wouldn’t admit it but he missed the feel of her skin against his. His eyes slowly opened, bringing Ana’s figure into focus. He frowned, this couldn’t be, was he so lost in the comfort that Rin gave him that he hadn’t sensed her presence? “Well isn’t this an adorably cute scene.” she teased. He looked up at her, admiring how the blue Yukata she wore complemented her rich skin. She knew how to wear the outfit well, but he was sure she’d look even better in finer cloth. No, she was not his responsibility, he could hear his beast growl but he ignored him. He dismissed Rin, watching her skipping downhill towards the little fox, all her worries seemed to be forgotten. The trust his little ward put into him gave him an odd feeling, under normal circumstances she would fear him instead of relying on him making her world a better place. Even more peculiar was the fact that he didn’t want it any other way, the thought of little Rin quivering in fear before him had every fibre of his being standing on edge. “So, why are you still here?” Ana asked, drawing him back to reality. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even realized how the woman had sat down next to him. He was surprised, but acted indifferent, after all it was a surprise in itself that she had willingly approached him. “That is of no concern to you, onna.” Jaken said, pointing his staff at her making him smack the imp once more. He seriously had to break that recent habit of spacing out. She chuckled at the scene as if unaffected by the threat. His heartbeat increased as her scent grew stronger just by being in his presence. “You know it’s not okay to pick on the weak.” she said, pulling him out of his daydream. “It is of no fault of Sesshômaru-sama that the boy was born a half breed.” Jaken said defensively. “I was actually referring to you, as far as I can tell Inuyasha is pretty strong.” Sesshômaru growled softly at her. “Hey! don’t growl at me. You sir are quite rude.” Before Jaken could respond he lifted his hand, indicating his silence and ordering him to leave, he would deal with the unruly female on his own. He watched as the imp left in a hurry, almost tripping over his own feet then turned to face Ana.

“A rather vulgar woman such as yourself dares to call this Sesshômaru rude.” he stated. She scuffed, “And here I thought I would make peace with the ice prince.” She got up to leave but he grabbed her wrist. She froze. He could have slapped himself, “This Sesshômaru apologizes. It was no intention of mine to startle you.” She looked at him with a shocked expression. “Can you repeat that?” she asked, still looking a bit stunned by his words. “This Sesshômaru will not be repeating his words.” he replied, emotionlessly, angry that he had let his guard down enough to apologize like that. “You, my dear friend, are quite the complex creature.” she said, taking her seat once more. Friend? Before he caught himself he asked, “You consider this Sesshômaru a friend?”

She looked at him with a slightly confused expression. “Yeah, sure. I mean, I don’t hate you. You’re arrogant, hot headed and belittle other people, but the way you act around Rin, so overprotective and kind, made me realize that you’re actually not that bad a person. I find it rather cute...in a noble sort of way… That you also train your brother to be a better swordsman. Also you saved me, I heard you’re not fond of humans but you saved me, so I find that to be a good start to a friendship.” Her smile warmed his heart and he found himself staring at her lips, the memory of their softness etching in his mind. He pried his eyes from her. “This Sesshômaru had no intention of saving a creature such as yourself. This Sesshômaru merely made a choice based on the circumstances.”

“Alright! I’m done!” she said, pushing herself from where she sat and storming away before coming to a halt. She slowly turned with a stiff smile on her face, “Even if you didn’t save me for me, you must have known I was part of Inuyasha’s group so at least you saved me for your brother. In the end you care and you saved my life,” she said then stuck out her tongue.“Two points for Anastasia!” she exclaimed as she pumped her fist into the air. He smirked as he watched her receding figure, he would like to put that tongue of hers to good use. The last linger of her scent hovered over his nose as she walked into the hut of the old miko. She was indeed intriguing and her company was rather enjoyable. 


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn' this wonderful

That night as he sat under the stars, he pondered. He did like a good challenge and a challenge she was, he smirked to himself, she would be his. As he breathed the crisp night sky Ana’s scent tickled his nose once more but it was mixed with a bit of uncertainty. His eyes narrowed, what was bothering her? He got up to approach her but stopped when he sensed the young miko. “Don’t worry Ana, we will find a way to get you back. In the meantime stay here until I return.” What?! She wanted to leave? He would not allow this to happen. He had finally come to terms with his beasts choice of mate and she wanted to leave? Unacceptable! When the miko left with his brother towards the well, he rose from his seat and passed Ana, indicating for her to follow him. When he heard her footsteps behind him, he slowed his pace pleased by her obedience. They walked silently for a few minutes until he came to a clearing filled with various flowers with the moon hovering aimlessly in the night sky. He looked back when he heard her soft gasp, her eyes filling with awe as she looked over the beauty that lay before them. “You will stay,” he said firmly. 

She froze for a moment, a jumble of emotions playing on her face, anger being the most prominent one. He knew she wanted to retort, to tell him where to shove his commands, an expression he had only ever heard from his brother before she had appeared, but instead she took a deep breath, “Why?” she asked him. “This Sesshômaru needs no reason.” She laughed, “You may seem like a serious person but you do know how to make a girl laugh.” Watching his still, indifferent face she gasped, “Oh, you were serious?” She chuckled nervously, “Did anyone ever tell you that you had a good sense of humor?” she asked, the sarcasm evident in her voice. He huffed, if she knew his sense of humor she would run away from him. “This Sesshômaru did not bring you here to discuss humor, you will stay and that is final.” His cold voice rang into the still night, sending a flash of fear through her as she looked up at him. He did not like to see the fear in her eyes, the bitter smell tainting her natural scent, but he had to be stern with her. How else would she know that he was serious? She stood, motionless, looking up at him with an angry scowl. Her eyes traced his facial features, trying to find something beneath them, evaluating his words, trying to find a reason for his decision, ultimately failing. Squeezing her eyes shut, she sighed, “Sesshômaru. I can’t stay. I don’t belong in this time. I don’t fit in.” That was the point, it was her presence, it was her not fitting in, that made him and his beast choose her, but he could not tell her that now could he? The way her nostrils were quivering already he knew she would take it as an insult. What could he say for her to stay? What was it he had to do so she wouldn’t leave him? He prided himself in his intelligence and yet he had to admit, that he simply had no idea how to dissolve this situation to his liking, ordering her had after all turned out to be not his best idea.

The air grew thick with silence, its awkwardness causing her to fidget as they stood there unable to find words to say to one another. She began to speak, saying something about enjoying everyone's company and knowing she would miss them but the words didn’t register in his mind and were eventually drowned out by his own thoughts. What did he have to do for her to stay? What? Regret wafted in the air stopping his thoughts immediately. He eyed her, watching every expression on her face, the way she occasionally furrowed her brows, bit the inside of her cheek or glanced at him. “You don’t want to leave,” he stated simply, without showing the relief he felt about the revelation that she wanted to stay of her own free will. She stopped her rambling, her insecurity instantly replaced by anger and sadness. The smell was quite similar to the time when she had opened up to him and told her painful story. Did he bring back those memories? “No. I don’t. But I must. My mom is waiting for me but there is my dad and his colleagues.” She screamed in frustration before turning away from him. Just watching her, fists balled, shoulders drawn together in angry frustration, hurt from going through years of pain ached his heart. He wanted this to stop, this hurt within on her behalf was beginning to invoke emotions he thought for the weak, but for some reason it didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. “Please don’t make this any harder than it is,” she said almost weakly, before taking a few steps away from him and wrapping her arms around her body. “I really liked how you made me feel normal,” she continued in a whisper. He did not know what she meant with that, but knowing she was having a moment to herself he refrained from asking for clarification.

The already thick atmosphere grew heavier as the time passed until he sensed her curiosity which was replaced by determination as she turned to face him once more. A smile slowly curved on her lips even though her eyes still had a hint of sadness within them. What was she thinking? She offered her hand to him waiting for him to take it, but he was reluctant. He looked at her hand then back at her, her composure revealing nothing of her plans and her eyes gleaming with determination. The scent of her determination was rather intoxicating and he wanted to say something but he knew asking her to tell him her plan may result in an argument or her just being stubborn and not telling him at all. At least she wasn’t angry anymore. Curious, he took her hand, its warmth engulfing him and reminding him of the time she had lain beneath him. He tsked silently, this was not the time to think of such immodest behavior. 

The trickling of water grew louder in his ears as they continued to walk and at that moment he knew exactly where she was taking him. Yes, he knew of the hot spring a short distance from them and the thought of taking her there had crossed his mind but that wasn’t his intention. As a matter of fact he wouldn’t dare mate with her in such a place. The scent of her arousal tickled his nose and his eyes widened in realization, could she possibly? No. He glanced at the maiden who was just a step in front of him. Maybe? No! His beast, on the other hand, wagged its tail in excitement because he was more than sure. He looked down at the leading lady, her soft dark hand wrapped around his reminding him of how different they were but it didn’t matter anymore. The hovering moon gave her an ethereal glow making her look like a goddess. He found himself gawking and his heart skipped a beat .

Her arousing scent grew thicker with every step towards the spring, invoking a chain of highly inappropriate images from her begging him for more to her screaming his name as he claimed her for himself. He knew that it was feeding his beasts desires but being so close to her at such a vulnerable time made it hard for him to concentrate. He growled silently, he needed to control himself, this was not the appropriate time nor place. When they arrived she released his hand then closed the distance between herself and the hot spring but he kept his distance.

A sudden rush of blood hit his cheeks and his eyes widened when she reached behind her to open her obi and he quickly turned to give her some privacy. Just as he had feared. His teeth clenched in frustration as his beast panted in excitement towards her growing arousal. He heard her turn towards him “I want you to look,” she called out to him, nervousness heavy in her seductive words. He paused, the quick thumping in his ears growing louder the more he smelled her scent. “Sesshômaru?”

“What do you want, Ana?” he asked. “A parting gift,” she stated simply. He turned to meet her, anger slowly rising within him damping his sexual desire, snuffing the new wave of want upon seeing her Yukata hanging loosely on her shoulders in its crib. What did she think of him? Did she not know him as a man with morals? The heavy moans of a certain wind demoness rang in his mind, his name seductively rolling off of her tongue, through her ruby lips. No! That was different! This was different! “No,” he said coldly. She froze for just a moment before approaching him, tugging at her strange future age undergarment to reveal the top of her breasts. His body shivered and he could feel himself harden. DAMN! He wanted her, not just her body but he wanted every aspect of her, he wanted to mate her but apparently all she wanted was his body. Unconsciously he pulled away from her when she touched him, “Anastasia…”

“Sesshômaru, please. When I go back I won’t find another man like you who can take away my fear of being touched, who can fix me and make me whole, who can possibly make me enjoy life with all my friends and eventually even sex. You are my only hope.” Her voice was soft, broken. Her tone hurt him almost as much as much as her only wanting to use him and then leaving without possibly acknowledging that he, himself may have acquired feelings towards her. He looked into her dark brown eyes which gleamed with hope. He wanted to say yes just for her and his beast pushed him to it, but the slight hint of fear within her deterred him. If he did do as she asked, but she couldn’t finish what she started, his beast would want her dead and he may not be able to stop it from happening. She wasn’t ready, he knew that, even though she herself did not. And even if she could go through with it, his beast would not take her leaving lightly. Hardening his features and reigning in his emotions he told her no once more. “This Sesshômaru does not indulge in such affairs, if you did have sex with this Sesshômaru that will make you this Sesshômaru’s property which means you won’t be able to go back to your time.” Not all of it was true especially the ownership part but this was the only thing he could think of to stop her seductive tactic before she got hurt because of him, by him. 

“Fuck you Sesshômaru,” she said, stepping away from him. “Fuck you! I should have just asked Miroku or better yet, Inuyasha! Some man you are. I thought men of this time took what they wanted without a second thought!” Her sudden outburst took him by surprise, leaving him at a loss for words. She didn’t mean it, she was just frustrated. That’s what he told himself but the look of slight disgust in her eyes, not knowing if it was pointed towards him or herself, almost made it seem as if she meant every last word. “You’re pitiful Sesshômaru. I thought you’d have the balls to actually fuck me into submission. I wouldn’t have cared, if it was you. I wouldn’t…” Her words turned into a jumble as tears streamed down her face. This woman, helpless, broken, torn. He approached her. “No! Don’t you fucking come near me! I hate you!” He froze, confused, hurt and completely stunned by her words as she ran into the woods back towards the village. 

Pain and anger coursed through his body as the last words she had spoken rang in his mind. He could deal with her saying things she didn’t mean like fucking his brother or that perverted monk. He understood her frustration because of his rejection. He could even take her calling him pitiful, but her saying she hated him... It felt as if his soul was being torn to pieces and his beast howled sadly with him. Hearing those words was painful, worse than that demon hating sword pulsing within him, although he knew she didn’t mean it. It took him a while but after thinking over the situation he realized that she was, in her own way, honoring him with taking care of her body. She didn’t like when other men touched her, she even avoided it. He could recall her flinching ever so slightly when Inuyasha grazed her shoulder one day and they had already been friends at that point. He, on the other hand was a bit of a stranger in the distance wanting to close the gap between them but never really knowing how to, yet she was completely comfortable around him. He looked at his beast who lay with him, his face buried under his paws. “She didn’t mean it. We have to talk to her,” he said, patting its head, never had he touched his inner demon in such a manner but it felt appropriate. His beast looked at him, determination rekindling in his eyes.

Ana’s scream, tore his eyes open. Before he could even think he dashed towards her but as he got closer to the village a smell he instantly recognized as Kagura’s hit his nose. No! How could this have happened?! Horror and anger filled his soul as his beast rammed against his inner constraints sending massive waves of youki off his skin. Demonic energy pulsed within and around, causing the air to pick up speed. He tried to control himself, digging his claws deep within the flesh of his palms but his beast was tenacious. His eyes formed into slits as his vision turned red, while the flesh of his humanoid form ripped to make space for the rampant beast. A vicious growl rumbled through the sky as his mouth formed into a muzzle. Kagura would die for laying a hand on his mate! “Sesshômaru-sama?” He paused when he heard the voice of his ward, turning slowly to see her worried expression. His consciousness was quickly fading, but when he saw that she wasn’t the least bit fazed by his grotesque features but instead she was concerned about him, his beast immediately understood. Rin was the first human to treat him with respect, awe even, but without any fear whatsoever. She had been loyal to him from the start, her safety was of utmost priority even though he wanted to go for Ana. The tension in his body abated as he turned away from Kagura’s scent and returned to his humanoid form. “Don’t worry Sesshômaru-sama, I know you’ll be able to find her, but you need to be careful, if you run after her like that I can’t help you when you get hurt” He paused, wide eyed at the small onna before him. The little girl was very wise for her age. He should be indignant at her for talking about his once lost arm like that, for insinuating that he would run into the fight rashly and without thinking of the potential danger, without caring for the danger. He knew he should, yet he wasn’t. He knew she was right, knew that it had been exactly what he was about to do, when she had stopped him. He huffed at the feeling swelling in his chest and lead his little Ojôsan to the village, not even caring about the title his subconscious had bestowed upon sweet little Rin. 

The slayer was already waiting, obviously nervous about Rin walking with him since it had been her task to watch the very girl, that had gone running the moment she had heard the pained cry of his beast. “Where’s Anastasia?” She asked the moment her weak human eyes could see that Rin was fine and Ana on the other hand was missing. A sense of hurt and pain ran through his body, as he remembered what had transpired only minutes ago but his face revealed nothing. “I shall return,” he stated simply before turning to leave “keep her safe this time!” The slayer stuttered, apparently she had almost forgotten that Rin could have been seriously injured while interfering in his transformation. “Kohaku himself decided to stay behind, Rin knows where he is,” he added when he felt the small tug on his sleeve. With that last statement he left in a flash to find that putrid wench Kagura.

                                                                                                                         -oOo-

Naraku watched through Kanna’s looking glass as Kagura grabbed the running Ana. Her tear stained face grew petrified with fear as Kagura slammed her into the ground. The girl shrieked, thrashing as best she could to get the demoness off of her but failing. “Why would Sesshômaru take interest in a weak, pathetic, human and rather atrocious woman like you? You aren’t even fit to look at him, much less breathe the air he does. If it were up to me you’d be dead.” The whole thing was rather intriguing, how deep did Kagura’s affections run for the young lord? Naraku laughed at his thoughts, Kagura could not love, she was a part of him and he loved no one. He dismissed Kanna and waited patiently for Kagura’s return.

It didn’t take long. Once the hunt was over the wind demoness seemed to want nothing more than to rid herself of the unconscious female. She refrained from her usual detours and reached his hideout within the day, flinging the girl at his feet only minutes after her dainty feet had touched the ground. “You have done well, Kagura, you may go for now.” She huffed and left without a word. He rose from his chair, prodding the girl with a foot. There was something odd about this young woman. A familiar pulse ran through his body. Did this female carry a shard of the shikon jewel within her? He smiled, was this the reason for the young lord’s favoritism towards the odd woman? No… As far as he could remember Sesshômaru had no interest in the shikon jewel. He pulled his partially finished jewel from around his neck and placed above the area he felt the power of the shard but it didn’t ract. What? Impossible! He tried again but there wasn’t the faintest reaction, just like before. Bothersome. He tugged his jewel back into the lavish folds of his fine Kimono, the other hand tracing the line of her neck. He could feel the pulsing in the tips, ripples of power pricking his flesh. The damned thing was fighting him. Very bothersome indeed. 

Concentrating his own rotten power he tried to infuse the dark light of her power with it, to taint it just like he had the shikon no tama, it should not be too hard, after all, there was nothing pure about this woman's source of power, it was already tainted in an odd and unfamiliar way. The smell of scorched flesh hit his nose even before the pain registered in his brain. For but a moment he seethed at the audacity of the object to reject him in that way, but then he had to chuckle, a rather interesting situation had formulated. The puzzle of the young lords fascination with her would have to wait, this was far more intriguing. He would test this female, draw out her powers in a similar fashion that caused Kagura to lose a large portion of her body. Her strange jewel would be his in the end, no matter what he had to do for that. An object did not simply refuse him, it had no right to do so. If the woman would turn out to be an obstacle he would make her comply in whatever way that would break her the easiest. Again the pricking, her dark jewel seemed unhappy with his thoughts. Oh he would give it every reason to be unhappy once the girl woke. Smiling to himself he drew back into the shadows, it was now a waiting game. 


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so Naraku is now in the game.....

na gasped as her eyes flashed open. Her head was pounding and her vision slightly blurred. She blinked several times to rid herself of the dark specs before her eyes, rubbing them with her fingers to speed the process. The last thing she remembered was running away from that asshole for rejecting her as if she was some kind of whore. After her vision cleared she saw the wooden floor beneath, cold to the touch and the stone walls dripping precipitation. She frowned. What the hell? Why was she in a building? A small window at the far end of the room emitted morning light, showing the fur of some animal hanging on grey walls, other than that there wasn’t any furniture like what she had seen in Kaede's hut and definitely no fireplace to warm the cold room. She felt small compared to the vast space, its ceiling rising high above her with the slight smell of something rotten lingering about. How the hell did she get in here and where was everyone? Her eyes widened as a vague memory of a ruby eyed woman yelling at her played though her mind. No, no, no, no…this could not be happening. Quick, shallow breaths wrung in her ears as her chest tightened. No Ana, you need to calm down, this is no time for panicking, you have to get out of here. Taking a deep breath and exhaling, she slowly pushed herself off the floor, stumbling and groaning as her headache thrummed through her skull. She had to get out of there before someone realized that she was awake. The odd sensation of someone watching her intently, left her feeling vulnerable as she quietly made her way to the entrance of the room. Grasping the frame of the door she slowly poked her head out only to see long corridors running both to the left and right. Fortunately no one was around but she wasn’t going to stay to find out. Deciding to go right she sprinted down the corridor, never looking back to see if that was the right choice to make. The corridor was longer than she thought, her head was about to explode and her lungs weren’t too far behind; but she had to keep going, if that woman really had caught her she didn’t even want know what hell she’d be put through. Halting at a corner, she gulped in as much air as she could before her asthma decided to fuck her over. Shit! Which way to go? It probably didn’t matter, with her throat on fire and the walls closing in around her she knew that an asthma attack was way closer than any exit she might hope to reach. Come on Ana, don’t let this affect you, you’re okay! 

Taking a left, she ran as fast she her body would let her. Her vision blurred as she ran and stumbled. Weak, thin rice paper walls tore beneath her hands as they fought to keep her from landing on her face. Would she hit the floor, she knew she would not get back on her feet. You have to keep going Ana! Her mind willed her body to move, and yet her hand would not stop gripping the frame of the shouji wall. She was done. Her knees buckled beneath her and there was nothing she could do to stop herself from sliding down to the floor. Her body was so damn frail. A slight breeze tickled her face as tears cascaded down her face. What? She was close, so much closer than she would have thought! Determined, she willed her body into submission before dashing down the corridor once more. She made another right before she saw the opening of the door. Freedom! There it was! She ran and ran like she had never run before, forgetting the numbness of her body and the fire that engulfed her lungs, she was about to be free! Relief washed over her when she exited the door, the feeling of the crisp morning breeze filling her lungs. Now all she had to do was to pass the castle gates. She didn’t stop, she was almost there. 

Her feet did not move. Everything went still for a split second as her world came to complete stop. She was free right? This couldn’t be happening. Why wouldn’t her feet move? It took a moment for the feel of something slimy wrapping itself around her waist to register. A horrified scream swelled within her as her hands instinctively reached out, but grabbed nothing but air. She tried to break free but it was of no avail, she was too weak, there was no strength left in her arms. Fingers clawing in the dirt, another scream bubbled forth as tears blurred her vision. She couldn’t get away. 

“No, no my dear,” a fiendish voice said as the thing around her waist caressed her face, excitement almost dripping between the syllables. “I’m not going to hurt you. So calm down,” he continued smoothly. He turned her head so she could meet ruby eyes, similar to her kidnapper. Fear ran through her body as she continued to look into his eyes, the emptiness within having no end. “Who the fuck are you?” she spat weakly, disgusted by the man touching her so intimately. “Ahh, forgive me for my insolence. I am Naraku,” he smiled, showing pearly whites. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard his name. Of all the people in this messed up era, she had to end up with this maniac? “Sesshômaru will kill you,” she proclaimed, trying not to show the new developed fear that was slowly eating away at her soul. “The young lord of the West?” he smiled, eyeing her before pulling at one of the many strands that had escaped her bun. She pulled back her head, someone like him touching her was too much to handle. He sighed. “If you think that he would come and save a mere ningen such as yourself you are mistaken. As far as I can remember he hates them.” 

“You don’t know anything,” she forced out through clenched teeth. “Oh, but I do, my young preternatural maiden. I know that you are rather atrocious looking and a daiYôkai like him wouldn’t waste his time on a weak creature such as yourself.” His words stung, to think that Sesshômaru would...no this was not the time to think about that.

Hot breath tickled her ear, sending her heart into overdrive as her body went rigid. “Now answer me this, why doesn’t the shard within your body react to the ones I have?” he whispered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” she said shakily. Squeezing her eyes shut, she silently begged her thrashing heart to calm down. “Well, if you’re not going to tell me, how about I pry it from you?” He chuckled as he turned her around to face him.

She whimpered as he wormed his tentacle around her chest and neck, the feel of it against the skin of her neck was like roaches crawling up and down her body. The acid rising in her throat burned and she tried her best to swallow before puke followed. “Please,” she choked as memories of that man caressing her thighs ran through her mind and tears rolled down her cheeks. He smiled devilishly at her. “You really are useless,” he said with a frown as his tentacle pulled her hair, exposing her throat. “Don’t worry my little pet. I will treat you with great care.” 

She could do nothing with her weird constraints but listen to his slow, steady footsteps. The footsteps stopped and she found herself in the air at eye level with the demon. “There are many ways to pry information from you.” Her back hit the stone castle wall when he threw her into the cell, a heavy cough erupting from her chest as her body bounced and slumped forward. The door slammed shut leaving her isolated, cold and in complete darkness. The tears wouldn’t stop, the more she tried to pull herself together the more she crumbled. He didn’t know what he was talking about...Sesshômaru..he cared right? Although he rejected her he cared...right? Her body violently shook as she thought about what Naraku had said, the adrenaline was wearing off leaving her body heavy and aching. Thinking about it, she couldn’t be mad at him for rejecting her. As Naraku had said, Sesshômaru was a daiYôkai, the man had class and she had thrown herself at him just like that. It served her right to be rejected like a tramp if she acted like one. The darkness was heavy, bringing forth her claustrophobia once more. Pulling her arms around her legs was a chore, but she had to keep herself warm in this damp room filled with kami knew what. The rotten smell was even stronger in this space than the room she was in earlier causing her to gag. So much for treating her with care. 

The creaking of the heavy door pulled her out of a sleep she didn’t know she was in. She squinted at the sudden invasion of light as she tried to figure out the silhouette before her. “It’s a surprise you can sleep in a situation like this,” the silhouette called out. The voice sounded familiar but Ana couldn’t figure out who it was. “Now don’t treat our special guest that way. Introduce yourself.” 

She flinched, pulling her knees closer to her body, this voice she knew. “It’s Kagura,” the woman said, aggravation embedded in each syllable. “She will be your keeper until I have need for you.” Without a second glance he disappeared. “My friends and Sesshômaru will come for me and kill you,” Ana defended. Kagura was in front of her in a flash, a dainty hand forcefully grabbing her face. Her ruby eyes instantly filled with hate as she observed her.“You aren’t worthy of uttering his name from your filthy mouth,” she spat, tossing her head aside. She straightened her back, all calm and composed again. “A woman like you won’t be able to please him. He is a demon after all and only a demoness can satisfy him.” She chuckled, throwing a canteen of water towards her then walking out of the room, with head held high and a smirk on her face she offered her parting words “I would know.” Ana gravelled for the canteen before the door closed, taking a long swig of refreshing water. A numbing sensation overtook her body as Kagura’s words slowly sank in. Hands shaking, she slowly put the canteen next to her. Why was she disappointed? Was it because he had told her he wasn’t that type of man? Who was she to talk? All she had wanted back at the hot spring was to fuck him and leave. She laughed bitterly, karma truly was a bitch. 

Five days, she counted five days before Naraku returned to her cell. “Before we start, let me tell you one thing about me, little pet. I am known to produce a rather potent miasma, so if I were you I would answer correctly.” His words were dripped with malice and his expression screamed enjoyment. Even if she wanted to run she couldn’t. Water alone wasn’t nourishing and hunger gnawed at her stomach like a stray dog; the outcome a weak, helpless, asthma prone body. “Tell me this Anastasia, why does your shard defy me?” This question again? She really didn’t know what he was talking about. A heavy silence befell them as she tried to think of an answer but she took too long. Before she could say anything his tentacle was wrapped around her waist. “Please!” she screamed, begging for him not to hurt her as he lift her off the floor. “Answer!” Squeezing her eyes shut she stuttered, “I don’t… I don’t know.”

“Wrong answer.” A searing pain flashed through her body, another scream escaping her lips as the poison burned through her yukata onto the skin of her waist, sizzling it like a piece of meat in a hot pan. Her chest heaved as her heart skipped several beats before forcefully pushing blood through her body once more. He released her, dropping her from the air. “Your screams are such music to my ears. I think I should hear them more often.” The door slammed once again, leaving her in the darkness. Numbness clung to her body as it tried its best to relieve the shock of pain that coursed through her. Ana dreaded Naraku’s next visit and when it came it was worse than the previous one. He blistered the skin between her thighs and reopened previous wounds, rendering her already tattered clothes to nothing but strips. “ I like the way these jagged, red wounds add a touch of colour to your smooth skin my dear, ” he whispered seductively into her ear, one day after his interrogation. “I wouldn’t have thought that your flesh would be like a normal human’s.” 

She saw the lust grow within him with every session and she tried to resist groaning under his touch, knowing her cries of pain added to his pleasure but she failed every time. If he wanted her so badly why didn’t he just fuck her already? It would be better than constantly fearing the day it would happen. It couldn’t possibly be worse than what she had endured so far, both, at his hands and that man’s. As he continued to tease, taunt and hurt her for days on end, her mind slowly welcomed the hopeless feeling of despair and abandoned all hope of being rescued.

How long had it been? Ana wondered. The days blurred together and the pain no longer lingered. The cold, hard ground was her new place of warmth. How long had it been? Naraku hadn’t been visiting her cell as of late and Kagura came whenever she felt like it. Ana had officially given up on being rescued, why had she even thought they would come? The door creaked open, shining bright light onto her face. Her face crinkled and she tossed her hand over her face to shield her eyes. Warm hands lifted her and she welcomed it, resting her chest on silky robes to savour the warmth. It had been so long since she felt this warm.

She was falling and it was cold again. Ana gasped, coughing violently as ice cold water engulfed her body, washing over her face and entering her lungs. Her fingers curled around a wooden frame as she tried to pull herself from the waters, but a firm hand kept her in place. Another cough, tight chest, wheezing. “It seems as if I went a bit too far. I keep forgetting about your odd sickness.” What the hell was going on? “The only reason I’m doing this is because I’ll be having a very important guest today and need you to look your best.” He lifted her out of the waters, wrapping her in cloth like a father taking care of his child. He was actually being gentle but Ana knew exactly what he was, she wasn’t about to fall for his silly act of sympathy. “I am not a fucking animal for you to show off.” He sighed, slowly resting her onto the futon not too far from the wooden basin. Long black hair curtained around her face as he loomed over her, his ruby red eyes staring directly into her dark brown ones. She tried to turn her head when he cupped her face but he grabbed her chin so she couldn’t move. “True, I consider you more of a play thing,” he said, running his finger up her chin. He slowly pushed himself off of her, tugging at the cloth he draped around her earlier to reveal her now damaged flesh. “Beautiful,” he stated simply. The steady flow of blood beneath her skin stirred as thoughts of what to come swirled within her mind. She knew what was to come, he was sick of waiting after all. The expression in his soulless eyes was all she needed to know. Tightly closing her eyes, she wished for it to be done and over with quickly so she could go back to the comforts of her cell. 

She could do nothing in her weakened condition but watch as his hand trailed up her abdomen and outlined her breast before rubbing her hardened nipple. “I have been waiting for a moment like this,” he mumbled softly as he squeezed her breast. Goosebumps trickled over he skin as he slowly trailed his fingers to the other breast, repeating what he did to the previous one. This was worse than that man, at least he was quick about it but Naraku was taking his time. The rapid thumping in her chest grew worse as her body slowly reacted to his sickening touch. She gasped as his tongue swirled around her nipple and she tried to hold in her groans but when he bit down they escaped without warning. Why did she even try to resist, he had the advantage over her anyway, weak and all. No one was coming to save her. “That’s good, let me hear your voice,” he said excitedly. Deep down she wished this was Sesshômaru but it was too late. Tears rolled down her eyes and a lump formed in her throat, making it hard for her to swallow, she didn’t want this. “Why don’t you just kill me.” she croaked. “That would be too easy.” he said in a menacing voice. His hand, now at her nether region, swept past her nerve bundle. Shivering at his touch, an odd sensation flooded her body as something wet trickled down her legs. “Though you may oppose, it seems as if your body is delighted. Is this how you are with any man who takes you. No wonder the young lord was repulsed, but it’s okay I will make you mine.” No.. no this was not her choice, she didn’t want this. Her body would not listen.

A heavy moan escaped her lips as he slipped two fingers within her. Why did she let him hear her? Why couldn’t she keep it in? A fresh wave of tears streaked down her cheeks as something slowly formed within the pit of her stomach. He slowly pumped his fingers within her, while rubbing her now sensitive nipples. “Please,” she whispered softly..”please, stop.” The lump in her throat grew the more the knot in the pit of her stomach swelled until the words she tried to speak wouldn’t pass her lips anymore. Eyes shut, fingers pressing into the futon, back arching, the knot in the pit of her stomach burst sending waves of sickening pleasure through her body. She felt disgusted with herself. How could she let herself be pleased by this man? She went rigid the moment he pressed himself against her. There was no more hope, nothing to stop it and no time for rescue. Cursing her own stupidity she willed her body to relax, knowing the less she would struggle the less it would hurt. Why had she run away from Sesshômaru? Maybe if she thought of him… no that would not be fair to him, he did deserve better - The sharp sting on her cheek had the soft silver strands morph into oily black again. “Now, now, my pet, don’t drift off, I want you wide awake for t-”

Relieve washed over her when she heard a knock on the door, stopping his advance. Slowly opening her eyes, the first thing she saw was the look of annoyance. “Just when we were getting to the good part. Speak,” he called out. “They are here,” a small voice replied. “Send Kagura and the others out to entertain them, I will be out shortly.” He sighed then pushed himself from her. Gently, he wiped her off and clothed her in a white yukata. “Now you’re ready.” He picked her up bridal style then headed out of the castle for them to meet their guests. 

There was a lot of noise, the sound of swords clashing, tearing of flesh and battle cries. What the hell was happening, a war? “Doesn’t it sound wonderful?” Naraku beamed as he walked down the long corridor towards the entrance to the courtyard. A sudden invasion of sunlight ached her sensitive eyes and it took a while for her eyes to adjust. Her heart sank when she saw the scene before her. Blood was splattered everywhere with chopped up pieces of dead demons scattered about. Her nose had become so desensitized to the smell of rotten flesh that she hadn’t noticed anything was amiss until she saw it. Something red flickered at the side of her vision and she slowly turned her head to see what it was. There, in a distance was, Inuyasha dodging an attack from Kagura. Someone was calling her name, it sounded like Kagome. Groaning softly from a sudden headache Ana looked around spotting Kagome and the others trying their best to ward off a flood of demons. They actually came, but where is Sessh-... Her thoughts were stopped by a loud scraping sound directly in front of her. Someone, no.. something was in front of them, trying to break through a barrier that seemed to be protecting them. Her eyes widened, was that who she thought it was? Red, silted eyes stared directly at Naraku, his once smooth markings were jagged, his mouth stretched and deformed. He bared his fangs, pushing harder to break the barrier but was repulsed. “Well look at what we have here, our special guest has made his move,” chuckled Naraku as he looked down at her. “Sesshômaru!” Ana cried out, distraught. 

He came for her. He actually came for her! Relief and joy filled her body but was soon replaced by fear. He shouldn’t fight. Not for her, he shouldn’t. She knew he was powerful and knew he was a good fighter but she didn’t want him to get hurt because she was foolish enough to get caught. “Please stop!” she called out as he banged his sword against the barrier once more. “Your effort is futile, not only can’t he hear you because of my barrier but you reaching out for him only fuels his desire to come save you, which is rather surprising since he isn’t fond of humans.” He chuckled. “Fuck you, you fucking monster.” The sting of the slap she received didn't register until blood trickled down her lip. “Now look what you made me do. To hit you like that in front of an already angry young lord, I wonder how he will react.” An ear-piercing howl tore through the skies, rendering her deaf for but a moment as she fearfully watched a ferocious Sesshômaru slowly transform. “Oh this is fabulous, look at his reaction, my pet. Can you imagine what he will do once he smells how much you enjoyed your stay here?” The wicked chuckle did not register in Ana’s ears, his words and their meaning drowning out all other thoughts. Sesshômaru came for her. He was here to save her and she… There was a shattering sound and everything sped up before her eyes. By the time she blinked both Inuyasha and Sesshômaru were impaled by Naraku’s serpent like tails. 

This had gone far enough. The woman couldn’t bear the sounds of her screaming vessel anymore. She had kept herself hidden from Naraku to protect the jewel but in doing so her vessel was left to be tormented. It had been necessary and she had known the jewel would protect her soul from serious damage, but this was too much, it was not only about her anymore. She would not fail the girl again. Opening her eyes, she pushed herself to the surface, suppressing the young soul to make space for her own. All her spiritual energy humming just above their skin. . Naraku shrieked, dropping the girl instantly, baffled by the sudden turn of events. “You have finally showed yourself,” he stated proudly. She scuffed and sent a beam of spiritual energy towards him, shredding his body to bits but unfortunately his head remained. “I can’t be killed that easily, but nice try,” he smiled. Before she could send another blast Kagura swopped in and grabbed his head, leaving in a flash on her feather. The girl’s body jolted as pain radiated throughout her body. She had gone too far, the girl’s body wasn’t ready for her powers. Before she could collapse, she hovered over to a shocked group of young people and two recovering demons. She looked up when the young miko called her name, it seemed as if she had figured it out. Ignoring the call she turned to Sesshômaru. “I leave her in your hands.” She had used up too much spiritual energy and the girl’s soul refused to be suppressed any longer. Closing her eyes, she allowed Ana’s soul to resurface as she covered herself around the jewel to prevent it from further damage. The last weeks had been heavy on the dark gem and the always obscure danger of it taking over had become quite real over this short time.

  
  



	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No matter the circumstance....keeping moving forward. Oh guys don't be afraid to give this story a <3 it would be great to see your support =)

The woman’s body was scorching hot against his skin, her once dark complexion now pale and lifeless, her weight next to nothing in his strong arms. He gritted his teeth in frustration, cursing his own ignorance that had prevented him from knowing anything about human illnesses. Why had he always scoffed at human weakness and never wasted one measly hour of his century long life to find out what could aid them? He should have, he realized, he should have long before he had met Ana. Was Rin not enough reason to? He would have, had Rin ever come down with any sickness. He was sure of it, but as it stood now he had no idea what he could do to keep his future mate comfortable on his way to his castle. He dared not go any faster, for her shivering seemed to correlate with his speed. Admitting how long it had taken him to see that was almost shameful. Once he had had her in his arms he had left Naraku’s lair in a hurry and only when he had passed Rin and Jaken on Ah-Un, who had left a day before, had he let himself calm down a little. Then he had noticed Ana shivering and instantly adjusted his pace to still be quick, yet not too harsh on Ana’s frail body. From the area he was coming from it would normally take three days to get back but he was determined to make it there in a bit over a day.

  
Her breathing was weak and shallow. She needed someone to take care of her, a healer, not him. The only thing he knew to do was to keep her hydrated, and even that he had only realised after seeing her cracked lips and the faint veil of dried skin cells covering her motionless face. Regularly he stopped to force a few drops of water down her throat, each time she would start coughing and contorting, leaving him to wonder if it was the right thing to do.

  
His grip around her tightened as he pulled her to rest on his moko-moko. He had been going at this speed for over twenty hours and he wasn’t as close as he would have liked to be. He had not rested in weeks, refusing to address his body’s needs before finding his chosen mate. Naraku’s poison still burning in his veins proved that it had been a mistake, not only had he failed to dodge the attack but his body was too exhausted to heal at its normal rate. He had been a fool, should have accepted his brothers help in the search and tended to his wound, instead of pushing through pain and exhaustion. Who would ever fight an enemy like Naraku with such severe impediments? Yes, only a fool would. And a fool he had been, just like his father before him. He was still alive though, and even if his injuries were severe, he refused to stop, he would survive until he reached his castle, and there he could heal in peace. It took another twelve hours before he could smell the castle and another two before his feet landed on the stone walkway to the great outer gates. The guards stiffened at his appearance, lifting their Naginata high into the air, blade meeting blade, in a well practiced synchronized movement of respect and greeting. He could not care less. They could have barked at him for all he cared. Ana’s pulse had grown weak and her breathing was almost non existent. About an hour ago he had started to miss her coughing, worry growing with every wheezing breath she took. “Oyakata-sama,” without even acknowledging his guard he rushed past, not interested in whatever he could have wanted to tell his lord. A heavy wave of youki stopped him in his tracks, wincing as Ana’s spiritual energy singed his arms in an attempt to protect her from the potential attack, he tightened his hold on her. Maybe he should have heeded the guards warning, he knew well enough that no one would dare address him if it was not absolutely necessary.

  
She stood there dressed in her royal kimono with her long silver hair in its two pony tails. Her golden eyes narrowed as she stared at the woman in his arms. "What is that?" Her voice was cold and aloof, just like his own as she pointed an elegant finger at Ana. A low growl rose in his throat, how dare she refer to his future mate as such?! She rose a dainty eyebrow, unaccustomed to seeing her son this compassionate. "Care to explain yourself?" He didn't reply, she was the one person he had hoped to avoid until Ana was safe in the hands of his healers. Did she not understand the gravity of the situation? He didn't have time to play whatever game his mother was spewing. Before he could devise a plan to rid himself of her presence, without turning it into a court wide scandal, she huffed, effectively easing the tension in his jaw and soothing his bristling beast, raging within as only she could. The cold metal of her eyes softened as they inspected Ana. "Take her to the healers, she reeks of poison.” The way her voice seemed to tighten at this command, told him that she could not only smell the disgusting filth on Ana’s body, but also knew what it entrailed. Passing her he inclined his head just slightly, in a way of understanding or gratefulness, he would let his mother decide. "You have a lot of explaining to do tomorrow. At dawn. Don't be late, " her voice rang out, just as he entered the castle.

  
Sesshômaru was in front the healer’s room in less than a second, the nauseating smell of healing herbs, alcohol and other mixed substances caused his nose to crinkle as he barged his way through the Shôji doors. The servants, busy mixing substances and clearing the wooden tables that were layered with herbs, stopped in their tracks to bow to him, their faces to the ground. "Save her!" he commanded, gently placing Ana onto the futon. The servants instantly got to work removing the tattered rest of her soiled yukata. He stood there unable to move, unable to leave her side. "Please forgive my insolence, Daimyô-dono,” a steady female voice called, stepping in front of him with her head held high but her eyes cast down in a gesture of respect and submission. He almost sent her flying through the wall until he realized who it was. "This seems to be hard on you," she whispered softly and only for him to hear, as she bowed apologetically, “Should the healer dress your wound Daimyô-dono?” His eyes shifted over her shoulder, catching a glimpse of charred skin. Squeezing his eyes shut, he forcefully turned himself from the situation. "You will be held responsible for anything that happens here," he stated clearly. "Understood, " she answered firmly.

The tension in his body dissipated, leaving only tiredness in its wake as he made his way to his chambers. He didn’t let it show, but he was well aware, that his guards could tell exactly how drained he was. It took longer than expected to reach his chambers where his servants immediately opened the doors for him. Long, secure strides, he did not know were still possible for his aching body, brought him to his own private washroom. With nothing but a huff he signalized his kneeling handmaid to undress him. Sitting down on the small, wooden stool he allowed the blind girl to scrub his back and to clean the nasty wound Naraku had inflicted upon him. The girl worked with deft hands on his tired body and without uttering a sound. Once more he was grateful for his decision to grant her a living in his castle after rescuing her from the torture chambers of the taijiya. For times like these her beyond repair damaged vocal chords were a rather desirable trait. With a deep sigh he let himself sink into the scorching hot bathing water, finally granting his muscles relief after he heard the soft click with which his handmaid had closed the door behind her.

  
He was home. He did not usually call this place as such, but after the stress of the past weeks it was welcomed and much needed. His silver strands drifted in the water like the moon’s light on a hot spring, it made him think. Why had he not stopped her there? Why had he not complied with her wishes, was it pride or tradition? He could have told her that his beast had chosen her to be his mate, that she was not one to be used and cast aside, but would she have believed him? Certainly not, the woman was too unruly for her own good, but still, he could have stopped her. If he hadn't been such a fool she wouldn’t have suffered at the hand of that mutt Naraku. There it was again, the tension in his muscles he had carried around since the day she had been abducted. He had touched her. That vermin had dared to touch what was his, to sully her with the wretched smell of his arousal, to touch her in a way no man should touch a woman and least of all his woman. He would die by his hands for what he had done to her. The anger clung to his very being and his beast’s blood boiled with desire for carnage as his Youki evaporated the water around him. Had he not excreted such an enormous amount of energy he would have left instantly to find and destroy that foul hanyou. He took a deep breath, silently calling his power back inside his human form, it wouldn't be wise to leave Ana in such a vulnerable state in a foreign place with people she didn't know. He sighed heavily, pushing himself out of the tub. His little display had left him dry already, the doors opened and walking through Shizuka stood ready, jinbei at hand. After dismissing her he laid down on his futon and allowed the tiredness to immerse him. Guilt ate at his soul as he thought about Ana. Maybe she would awaken tomorrow.

It was a blood curdling scream that pierced his sensitive ears in the middle of the night. Ana! Demonic energy swelled within and around him as he slammed the doors of his chambers open, sending the guards into shock as he dashed towards the healer’s room. Someone was about to die. He ripped the sliding door from its hinges and walked over to where Ana lay thrashing violently in her sleep. Seeing the state of his mate, his beast snapped and a new surge of youki flooded his system as he held the healer by the neck. "What did you do?!" he raged at the goat, his eyes bleeding red, ready to kill the old fool for whatever mistake he had made. "Please calm down, Daimyô-dono." He turned to see Mayumi filled with fear, her face on the floor, begging, something that didn’t suit her. He drew back his anger as best as he could, realising the goat demon. "Explain!"  
"We are unsure Daimyô-dono, but it seems as if she is trapped in a nightmare, possibly reliving the trauma she went through. Since you brought her, Daimyô-dono, we have dressed her physical wounds with great care, but we are unable to assess any mental damage until she awakes," her speech was fluent and secure, but the fear emitting from her and everyone else in the room was enough to make his sleep deprived head spin. "When will that be?", he asked, dreading the answer more than he cared to admit. The way Mayumi’s voice hitched let him know, that she feared it just as much. "We are uns-"  
"Leave!", he commanded harshly, causing the other servants to scatter, leaving only Mayumi who looked at him with concern in her eyes before quickly averting her gaze. She bowed respectfully before trailing behind the others.

Concern swelled within him as he turned to look at Ana who seemed to stop screaming and thrashing but was now trembling. He slowly approached her, unsure of how to comfort the unconscious female. As he got closer to her quivering form he noticed the streaks on her face, the potent herbs and solutions from the room must have hidden her salty teas from his sensitive nose. Why did this happen? She was so innocent, peaceful, and yet this... He knelt down and gently touched her forehead. Her trembling stopped almost instantly but her face contorted in pain. Confused by her reaction he leaned forward and cupped her face but she began screaming and thrashing once more, flailing her hands about as if to ward off an enemy. The sting on his face came quick and unexpected. It took him a while to process what had just happened, in an effort to protect herself her hand had connected with the side of his face. His instinctive reaction was to hit her back but the urge was immediately suppressed. Sighing, he allowed a gentle flow of his youki to engulf them as to demonstrate his peaceful intentions. It was a gamble, but he was relieved when there was no blast of spiritual energy. There was, however, a tingling sensation whenever he touched her but it didn't burn like at the day of their arrival. "It seems as if you do not trust this Sesshômaru, even though it was you who had told me to take care of her," he stated, amusement dancing in his voice. The tingling subsided but there was still a slight hum beneath his fingertips. It let him wonder, a miko’s reiki had always been foreign to him, even with Inuyasha’s new Miko constantly around he wasn’t familiar with it. Apparently it was not too different from a demon’s youki, capable of showing chaos and destruction as much as serenity and quietude. He huffed softly and removed the covers, he would move her to another area, somewhere more comfortable for her and less straining on his sense of smell. Gently picking her up, he pulled her to his chest and allowed his moko-moko to engulf her then headed back to his chambers. He would have someone prepare a room for her in the morning and station Mayumi as her guard. After laying her on his futon, he laid down beside her, draping a large fur lined cover over them. She relaxed next to him, breathing calmly as he gently ran his fingers through her tangled hair. She was safe, with him she would be safe and he wasn't going to let her go. Taking a deep breath, he relished in her scent before falling into a deep sleep.

“Now I see why you’re late.” Sesshômaru’s eyes flashed open to the sound of his mother’s voice. She stood there a few feet in front of him, motionless, but there was a hint of amusement within her eyes. He felt like a pup getting caught stealing a piece of meat from his father’s plate, thinking he wasn’t looking. “You have ten minutes.” She left, not waiting for him to respond. He pushed himself off the futon, flinching when he felt the tug on his moko-moko. She was still clinging to him. Fighting the sudden rise of guilt and sadness that threatened to resurface, he gently pried her fingers from his fur. After a few moments of gathering himself he called for a servant to prepare the adjacent room for Ana to stay in, then called Shizuka to dress him for his appointment with his mother.

  
The doors to his mother’s chambers were slid open by the kneeling servants as he made his way down the corridor with his head held high. Sesshômaru stepped into the fur lined chamber filled with plush pillows and decorative ornaments atop various tables. The walls were painted purple and patterned with sakura petals. She dismissed her servants and gestured him towards the space in front of her. He took his place, waiting for her to say something but there was a long period of silence. “This is the second human you’ve bought here.” He said nothing. “I wouldn’t have thought to see you this soon after what had happened to Rin. By the way where is Rin?”  
Did she have to remind him of such a painful moment? Did she expect him to return the favour for the decision she had made of her own free will? “She is on her way,” he replied emotionless. “Hmmm. I’m surprised you let her out of your sight. Then again, judging from the looks of that girl you brought here the situation must have been dire.” He knew what she was doing, wanting to force him to say what had happened prior to his arrival, something they surely both had already analyzed just from Ana’s smell. Ignoring his mother’s obvious tactics to lure an emotion out of him, he simply replied that Jaken was with her. “Didn’t think that green little toad was a fighter.” He huffed at her words, of course he wasn’t but he would give his life before anything could happen to Rin, even with all his bickering, Sesshômaru knew the toad dearly loved the child. “Sesshômaru,” she called out slowly, smiling to show her fangs, “Did your beast choose that human female?” He wasn’t surprised that she had deduced the situation that quickly but he was still a bit taken aback by her direct question. “I have accepted her,” he said without hesitation. “Is that so,” she said carefully, “Does the girl know that she is to be your mate? Has she accepted you in return?”

  
He was silent, unable to let it be known that Ana had no idea of how he truly felt for her. His mother sighed, “You were so much more expressive as a young pup, why did that change?” Her eyes glazed over as she reminisced on days long in the past. That wasn’t him anymore nor did he plan on being that young fool ever again. She sighed again, “ How do you intend on letting the poor girl know she’s worthy of being by your side since you won’t out right tell her?” She looked at him, sensing the answer clearly. He hadn’t thought of that, his mind had been bent on saving her, not finding a way of expressing the way he felt for her, much less announcing his beasts choice of her as his mate. “There isn’t much I can do in this case but I will still evaluate her, if that’s alright with you?”, she asked with a smile. He didn’t reply nor did she wait for one, they both knew she would do as she pleased no matter what he said. He may be the head of the house, the most powerful Yôkai of the western lands, even the most powerful of all the lords, and yet… she was his mother. It was that simple. She had raised him, she had taught him, she had watched over his lands during the time he had left for his own selfish reasons. She had saved Rin. With a slight bow he left his mother’s chambers then headed to where Ana rested.

  
Mayumi bowed deeply as he approached Ana’s bed chambers. “Daimyô-dono,” she forced out as he reached for the handle of the sliding door. His hand dropped to his side as he waited for her to continue speaking. “They are changing her bandages,” she stated simply. He answered with a simple nod and leaned back against the opposite wall. The healers had told him that skin and flesh were severely damaged and he was sure she did not want him, or anybody for that matter, to see her in such a damaged stage. Damaged, she had thought of herself as such before, how would she think of herself now? Letting it happen again? Shizuka’s healing process had shown him that they always sought the reason for their ordeal by themselves, would Ana even be the same once she awoke? Maybe the two women should spend some time together. It was not proper by any means for the future Lady of the West to mingle with the servants, but seeing how the choice of lady itself could not be considered as such, what more harm could it do? Anas health, be it in body or mind was his priority, custom and rules be damned. When the healers left the room on their knees before him, he entered. Slowly walking to her unconscious form he gathered his youki and allowed it to gently engulf her before sitting next to her and placing her head in his lap. He stayed with her for a while, gently caressing her face, feeling the hum of spiritual energy beneath his fingertips just as before. After a few minutes of cradling her in his embrace he placed her head back onto the futon and left. He didn’t know it yet but it would be a long wait before she awoke and many of those nights he would spend in her chambers holding her terror stricken body close to his as his own heart grew with sorrow.


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aren't mothers sweet ?? =))

She felt warm, a little too warm. Ana’s face scrunched in annoyance when she heard the patter of feet and whisper of voices. “Mom please get out of my room,” she mumbled as she pushed the covers from around her body. She rolled on her side, pleased that the noises had stopped and flung her hand out in search for her alarm clock only to feel nothing but soft fur beneath her fingertips. Had she fallen off the bed again? Annoyed by her restless sleeping habits she pushed herself from the floor in vain. Her arms felt like lead and every inch of her body ached. Panic rose from her stomach, she had fallen off her bed many times and never had she felt like this! She tried again, taking her time to push herself off the floor, succeeding only in sitting up. This was wrong. Something tingled at the back of her mind as she looked about the room. Her brows furrowed in confusion, she knew this was not her room, not the one she grew up in, the paper thin walls and oil lamps; the four walls spanning far from each other, leaving her to feel small and vulnerable. The more she looked about the room, the more uneasy she got. The soft sunlight displaying itself on the maroon, fur lined floor beneath her. Windows wide open, allowing her to breathe the crisp and wonderful autumn air. This was not right. Something within her made her feel calm but a slow rise of despair coiled deep within her belly when she spotted a table in the corner, different from the others with decorative ornaments top, filled with herbs and tools she couldn’t make out. 

A sharp pain shot through her skull as her eyes widened with horror. This room shouldn’t smell fresh nor should it be clean, much less warm or comfortable in any way. Was she taken by someone else? The last thing she remembered was seeing Sesshômaru and Inuyasha impaled by Naraku’s serpent tails, the memory of it fresh within her mind. She couldn’t stay here. It was just a trick conjured up by Naraku to make her feel secure and safe like the first time he had captured her. She had to get out, had to get away! Frantic, she pushed the remaining covers from her body, only to get a glimpse of white beneath the simple silk yukata that covered her body. Hands shaking, she unwrapped the yukata to reveal bandages around her thighs and waist, the memory of what lay beneath them becoming all too real with the evidence before her very eyes. Tears clouded her sight as she stared at the bandages, she did not want to cry, not now, she had to leave now when no one was around. Gritting her teeth, she willed her legs to push her body in a standing position and wrapped her Yukata with shaky hands. She would not go through something like that again. Stable on her feet, she dashed as quickly as she could to the door, tearing it open, not wasting any time in her effort to escape.  

Her heart almost jumped in her throat when she heard a female voice calling her name. Not caring who it was and why they knew her name she rushed down the corridor to escape her captor, grateful for the adrenaline pumping through her veins. It wasn’t long before she smacked her face into something hard, sending her weakened body to the ground. Groaning from the sudden impact she slowly opened her eyes to see what she had ran into. Her eyes trailed up bulging white pants to a facially disapproving Sesshômaru. Ana blinked in confusion as she stared into his - dare she say - worried eyes. “Sesshômaru?” she asked softly. “Sesshômaru!” she exclaimed happily as she slowly pushed herself from the ground to hug him; to bury her face in the folds of his Kimono; to forget everything that Naraku had done to her. To feel safe. She immediately stopped her approach when she saw the beautiful young woman behind him, her hair silver like his, dressed in a lavish, purple kimono. Something crumbled within her as she looked at the beautiful Yôkai and she remembered that she hated him. He called out to her, reached for her... “Don’t fucking touch me,” she spat, taking a shaky step backwards. She tried to suppress the urge to cry, to cry in front of the bastard who had rejected her like a two dollar whore, who had made her suffer under Naraku’s thumb, who apparently had had a woman waiting for him all the while he had led her on. The woman looked quite amused, “ Something funny to you, bitch ?”, she directed towards the female. 

Ana’s eyes widened when she felt her neck turn painfully to the side as a sting trailed over the skin of her cheek. “Know your place, girl,” the woman sneered, her voice just as harsh as Sesshômaru’s, dripping with superiority. Her brazen eyes locked with her’s, steadfast and demanding. Ana unconsciously cringed at her stare, the disapproving glare reminding her of Kagura’s own hate filled eyes. She froze remembering the countless times she was taunted, teased, pierced, mistreated. It all flowed back to her like water bursting through a broken dam. She watched as the woman straightened her hand then flicked a strand of hair over her shoulder, just as elegantly as Kagura waved her fan. 

Sesshômaru grabbed her wrist, effectively freeing her from her stupor “I said, don’t fucking touch me!”, she yelled, panicking as a lump formed within her throat. The tears she had been fighting to hold dripped down her cheeks as she struggled to pull her hand from him. Her efforts futile as he forcefully dragged her back down the corridor, his grip strong but just as gentle as she remembered. She hated it, hated him, hated how he made her feel. As he approached the room she had escaped from the female guard collapsed on the floor begging her master for forgiveness that would surely never come by a man such as Sesshômaru. “Didn’t this Sesshômaru command you to watch over her!”, he barked, much like the dog he was, showing nothing of his usual froideur. The poor girl looked as if she was about to shit her pants. She nodded, again apologizing. “Leave!”, he dismissed harshly before pulling her through the sliding Shôji doors.

Ana’s body ached but she refused to sit, determined to stand up to Sesshômaru, even though her legs protested, shaking like the red maple leaves outside. “Did you save me so I could become one of your concubines? To show me off to the other demon lords like that woman?”, she threw her hands in disgust, knowing enough about nobility’s promiscuity to know that she would be excotic enough for a young lords menagerie of sextoys. “Don’t be ridiculous, that woman is my mother,” he replied simply. “Liar, she is way too young to be you mother. It doesn’t matter anyway. Hope you like leftovers because Naraku got his fill just like you got yours with Kagura.” She hissed, knowing she hit a nerve when he growled at her. She wanted him to hurt, to feel the pain she had felt when that fucking beast had touched her and torn her body apart. Sesshômaru would pay for the audacity of taking her in as a concubine, and after rejecting her in the first place! She belonged to no one and she would be dammed if Sesshômaru tried to own her. Still snarling he angled her face to the side, his honey eyes scrutinizing the damage done by the slap she had just received. Apparently satisfied with the results of his examination and completely ignoring the daggers she stared at him, he turned his back towards her, “Mayumi will retrieve you when dinner is ready to be served,” he stated in his usual monotone, expressionless voice before leaving her in the room all alone. Her knees bluckled under her a few moments after he left. Was she an idiot? Why did she argue with him? She should have been happy that he had saved her, she should have showed gratitude instead of animosity. But he had lied to her, told her he wasn’t the type of man to fuck around yet still he had fucked that wench Kagura. The anger she had tried to quell spiked again. Okay, maybe she was wrong about that woman, she did look an awful lot like him. She groaned, if that was the case she had fucked up big time. With her anger replaced by awkward doubt, fatigue finally took over her body and mind..

Someone was calling her but she was too tired to move. “Please Anastasia-sama, you must wake up, it’s time for dinner.” She turned on her side. “Go away, I’m not hungry,” she grumbled. “But Ojô-sama, if you don’t show up for dinner Sesshômaru-sama-” Ana shot up a little too quickly when she heard his name, causing her head to throb. Last time one of his servants hadn’t done as commanded she had gotten yelled at. “Fine, I’m awake.” Ana blinked away the haze of sleep, squinting as she looked at the woman who woke her up. She looked familiar, the sun patterned, yellow yukata looking, for some reason, odd on her. Her eyes squinted again, taking a long look at the woman’s s high cheek bones. She gasped, “Aren’t you the one who was standing at the door earlier?” 

“Yes, Anastasia-sama, my name is Mayumi,” she said, bowing deep enough for her soft, brown bangs to touch the tatami lined floor. The woman’s pointy ears kept the rest of her short hair from falling out of place “What kind of demon are you?” Ana asked, succumbing to her curiosity, eyes on the ears that looked so much like Sesshômaru's. Mayumi blinked her piercing green eyes, taken aback by the direct question. “I am a dog demon like Sesshômaru-sama but of a lesser breed.” Ana’s face lit up in understanding, “That doesn’t give him the right to treat you that way.”

“What do you mean, Anastasia-sama?”

“He shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I’m sure you were in a tough spot there, I wouldn’t have complied without a fight and your punishment would probably have been quite severe had you hurt me in the struggle. You can call me Ana, by the way.”

“I am but a lowly servant, Anastasia-sama and I must call you with the proper respect and as for what happened, I didn’t do my duty properly, never mind the consequences I was your guard and was supposed to keep you in the room.” Mayumi’s head hung and the atmosphere became heavy. “I am now your handmaid.” Ana chuckled, “Is it so bad to be my handmaid?”  she asked, trying to cheer the woman up. “Oh no, Ojô-sama, it’s just-”

“It’s fine,” she said, cutting the girl off. “I understand and forgive me for insisting when you were only doing your duty. I seriously don’t know how you can work under that asshole.” “Anastasia-sama, one mustn't call the young lord such names!”, she defended, eyes wide with horror at her lack of respect. “I know him well, I have been with him since he was a pup and he-.”

“Wait a minute? You guys grew up together?”

“No,  Ojô-sama,. I was his trainer.”

“His trainer?” So the woman was a soldier, no wonder the yukata had irritated her before, it was a far cry from the grey armour she had worn before, when she had first seen her  “ You are older than him?”

“Why yes, by few hundred years.”

“A few hundred years?! Holy shit!” Mayumi looked at her, confusion written all over her face. How old was Sesshômaru anyway? She shook her head trying not to think about something so trivial. “Alright, alright, we should go before lord fluffy pants storms in,” Ana joked, trying to push herself from the furs. The pain almost had her miss how Mayumi’s face turned beat red at her remark and Ana could do nothing but laugh. “Anastasia-sama, please, I can see that you are not from around here, but it is very rude to talk like that!”, her newly acquired handmaid explained frantically, obviously not as amused by her comment as she herself was, “Just as I must address you properly, you have to address the young lord and especially his lady mother with the proper respect! People have been killed for omitting honorifics, you know,”the woamn ranted, completely forgetting to address her properly. Ana chose not to call her out on that, it was obvious Mayumi wasn’t used to actually talk with people superior to her in status -something she apparently was- in a casual way. Instead she smiled reassuringly, “I’ll try, but, could you help me up? My legs, I can’t move them,” she added upon receiving a confused look of Mayumi. Tears pooled around her eyes and Mayumi’s features softened in empathy. “You will heal, don’t worry, Anastasia-sama. It will be most difficult to dress you though.” Mayumi said with a frown . 

Ana could do nothing but watch as Mayumi left with a determined face to gather any clothing she would need. Kneeling beside her Mayumi laid the fabrics out, each layer upon the other starting with the beautiful cloud-patterned kimono and ending with the still skillfully sewn undergarments. ”Can I take a quick bath?” Ana asked reluctantly after admiring the workmanship, suddenly feeling sticky and smelly.  Had they even washed her while she had been unconscious? Mayumi looked contemplative before answering, “A full bath, no, but I can fetch something for you to wipe yourself off.”

“That would do perfectly.” Mayumi left for a few minutes and returned with a small basin, a cloth and soap. With a small bow she left once more, giving her some privacy to wash herself as best as she could. When she was done she called for Mayumi who took the basin from her. Gently lifting her, she placed Ana’s naked form atop the fabrics and wrapped the material around her body, adjusting the straps as best she could then laid her back to make sure the fabric was at its correct length.The constant sit ups did nothing but hurt her already damaged lower back but she beared the pain, not wanting to complain or make the woman’s work anymore difficult than it already was. After the kimono was secured around her Mayumi pulled her into a sitting position, evaluating her carefully. “Acceptable.”, she attested nodding and moved behind Ana to tie the obi. 

Ana looked at the kimono she wore, running her fingers over the silky material, it was so beautiful and without a doubt more expensive than anything she possessed. “Finished,  Ojô-sama, forgive me for taking so long with your clothing. It is not my speciality,” Mayumi said, pulling Ana out of her fascination with the kimono. “That’s fine, it looks great to me,” she told the female with a smile. Mayumi bowed in acceptance to her statement.  “You’d have to stand so I can get a better view, Ojô-sama.” Ana looked at her with a frown. “Do not worry it will only be for a short while.” Gently lifting her into her arms, Mayumi set her against the outer wall and told her to put all her weight against it. After several minutes and a satisfied smile, she was settled her back on the futon.

Mayumi frowned when she looked at her hair. Seeing her hesitation Ana gathered her messy hair, detangling it as best she could with the comb and put it in a low bun. “Forgive me, Ojô-sama.” Mayumi bowed in apology. “No that’s fine, I’m sure you haven’t seen someone with hair like mine.” The woman nodded. Ana could see that she was a bit agitated for not knowing how to groom her fully, “It is truly fine, but if it upsets you I can teach you how to handle my mess of curly hair.” Mayumi’s eyes kindled with relief before she nodded. After all was done Mayumi gathered her in her arms and began her journey to the dining area.

“Ojô-sama, I believe we will start training your legs tomorrow,” Mayumi said as she walked down the corridor.  “Because the muscle was damaged it will be a while before you can stretch your legs completely. If you don’t do the training, Ojô-sama, you may be stuck with an awkward stride for the rest of you life,” she stated, quite frankly to her as they made their way towards the dining area. Ana was silent for the moment as she thought about her wounds. “I didn’t mean to be so straight forward Anastasia-sama.”

“It’s fine Mayumi, although it isn’t something I want to talk about.” Mayumi nodded in apprehension.  

Ana’s eyes lit up when they entered the large dining area, the entire room was white, decorated with  the mark of the crescent moon just like the one on Sesshômaru’s forehead. Mayumi walked between the pathway of chabudai  covered with fine white sheets that bared the crescent symbol in the center. Light from the windows that dotted the wall shimmered upon marble floors and on gold and purple vases standing in between each table. As they neared the table at the very end of the great hall, the female from earlier appeared, standing elegantly as if she owned the place. Eyes narrowing, Ana resisted the urge to roll her eyes and scuff. “Who’s that?” Ana asked bitterly. “That would be the lady of the castle, Sesshômaru-sama’s mother.” Ana felt like slapping herself, so it hadn’t been a lie. Groaning internally she made a mental note to apologize even if she didn’t want to. 

The woman gave her a quick look over, “Good, set her down, Mayumi.” Ana stuttered as Mayumi swiftly placed her on the cushion below, before dropping to her knees in a deep bow before the superior Yôkai.

“If you have something to say..”, the female said, mildly amused at the discomfort Ana knew she could smell. “I would like to apologize for my statement from earlier. It was wrong of me to assume,” she said bowing deeply, just like she had seen Mayumi bow to Sesshômaru when he had dragged her back to her room. The bow was strainful on her lower back but she didn’t show her discomfort as she slowly straightened herself. “Hmm.. and what is it exactly that you assumed?”, the mother asked, her voice intermingled with amusement and curiosity as she elegantly lowered herself on the cushion below. “Um, that you were..ah Ses-”

“Must you taunt her, mother?” Sesshômaru’s disapproving tone stopped her comment, saving her from the embarrassment that had almost befallen her. His face, unamused as always, as he turned to look between his mother and herself. Unable to meet his gaze she cast her eyes down towards her hands. “Ana-sama!” Ana’s head popped up to see Rin with a broad smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes. “Rin.”, Came Sesshômaru's smooth voice, effectively stopping the girl’s happy run towards her. “Forgive me Sesshômaru-sama, hello milady welcome to the great Inu palace,” she bowed, folding her hands in front of her lap and inclining her head. Ana smiled at the girl’s rather regal behavior, her presence easing the tension in her body. “We should begin, it has been a while since you ate. We will make sure that doesn’t happen again.” Ana looked up at the woman, unsure of where the sudden consideration came from but grateful nonetheless. After Mayumi was dismissed dinner was served, mainly for her and Rin while the other two were served what she assumed was sake.

“Mmm, This is delicious, by far superior to Jaken’s cooking,” Rin interrupted the deafening silence, mouth full of  food and yet sounding very much like one of the two noble Yôkai at the table. Ana almost dropped the bowl, fearful that the girl would get reprimanded by Sesshômaru or his mother. Her body tensed when she heard the woman chuckle. “Sesshômaru, I detest the fact that you allow the girl to live in such horrid conditions. She is young, and a young lady at that, she needs proper nourishment, few measly scraps prepared by your toad servant won’t do,” she said, her normal serious attitude replacing the tiny humorous spark she had allowed herself moments ago.  Sesshômaru merely grunted in reply, dismissing his mother’s demur.

“Anastasia-sama?” Rin’s voice pulled her from the food she ate, head snapping in the girls direction. “Do you like living in the castle?”

The twinkle in the girl’s eyes, brimming with sheer happiness left Ana dumbfounded for a few seconds. Nervous, she took another sip of soup, glancing from Sesshômaru and his mother before nodding to the girl. “Oh, Rin likes the castle too,” she beamed, “That’s not to say that Rin doesn't like being with Sesshômaru-sama,” she interjected quickly as if only to appease the demon lords dare she say, almost wounded ego. Sesshômaru’s mother chuckled behind a raised sleeve. “It seems as if young Rin has struck a nerve, my son.” Sesshômaru merely glared at his mother, seemingly annoyed by her statement.  

“Anastasia-sama, would you like to pick flowers with Rin tomorrow?” Muscles slightly stiffened, Ana fought the frown that threatened to surface as she recalled her current situation.   Just as she was about to answer Sesshômaru’s mother intervened: “I would be more than delighted to help you Rin, but only after you finished your studies. You would not want to embarrass the house of the west now would you, young one?” Rin’s little pout had Ana chuckling and before she realized it she told her that after her lessons she could come to her chambers and tell her what she had learned that day. “I think it would be better if we had tea after.” Ana looked at Sesshômaru’s mother, fear striking in her heart for a moment. We? “Mother.” Sesshômaru growled softly. “Oh, stop. I simply want to have tea with the girl.” She stared innocently at her son. This did nothing to stifle her fear as she looked at the woman in disbelief. “Oh that would be fun Ana-sama, obaasan makes the best tea!,” bubbled Rin, easing her fears a bit. At least she wouldn’t be all alone with that woman. Her relief was short lived, however, when a low growl erupted from the woman’s throat. Fear gripped her soul when she looked up to the red glow of her eyes, her delicate features distorted to a vicious snarl. “Rin.” The woman’s voice cut sharply, “Have I not told you to refrain from calling me such?” Every hair on her body stood on edge, as the tableware started to tremble from the demonic energy emitting from the former graceful lady of the west  “I am much too young to be a grandmother,” she continued casually, the tension in the air dissipating, as her visage turned back to the poised, elegant aristocrat, not revealing even a trace of her fury moments ago. Rin smiled sheepishly, completely unfazed by the outburst. “Forgive me oba-san.” Ana released a breath she had not realized she was holding, the sudden tightness in her shoulders relaxing. She smiled, it would seem that perhaps the woman  wasn’t as cold as she thought she was. She seemed to act like an ordinary japanese woman and had she not feared for her life, it may even have been funny. 

The muscles in her body relaxed and she smiled as Rin spoke about her day, though it seemed as if the others were blocking her out, Ana was listening to her every word and she was pleased to have someone brighten her day. After dinner, she was dismissed and Mayumi returned to take her back to her chambers. The woman gently took her from her seat and carried her to her room where she was left to her own thoughts after she was dressed in her sleeping yukata. Staring at the bandages around her thigh she wondered if she could take a look. Building up some courage she slowly peeled the wrapping away, revealing odd, brown leaves, plastering the raw flesh beneath. A sob hiccupped in her throat as she carefully peeled one of them off. First she had assumed they were some kind of medieval antibiotic, but she quickly learned that they also had the purpose of protecting the Inu’s impeccable sense of smell. The stench of decaying flesh hit her nose the moment the leaf left her pus covered wounds, the very same sickeningly sweet smell wavering through the dark cell she once had been locked away in. The battered flesh, the picture of revolting perfection inflicted by Naraku's poison. Perfection, that’s what he had called it, the beautifully vile contrast of bright red to dark brown. A shiver rushed through her, as the memory of his cold,  clammy hands on her body, the slippery warm tentacles battled itself to the forefront of her mind. Taunted by the uncovered wounds she quickly rewrapped them as if hiding them would eliminate their existence. Shaking her head she decided to think of something else, something to bury the memory. 

Dinner had surprisingly not been awkward, and to think that Sesshômaru’s mother had actually interacted with a human…And on such friendly terms as well, that wasn’t something she had been expecting but then again, one should never judge a book by its cover. Speaking of judging, it was damn impossible to comprehend the stoic, cold book named Sesshômaru. What was he thinking? He was so hard to understand and always hid behind that mask of his, well except when he was around Rin. Would he open up to her? She shook her head. Why should he? Damn it!  She never did apologize to him for calling him a liar.  Sighing she crawled higher ontop her futon and rested her head on the pillow. Would she be able to go home? Where Kagome  and the others safe?

“Anastasia?” She swore and clutched her chest, her heart racing from the sudden fright. Scrambling to a sitting position she quickly rewrapped her yukata. “Um, come in?” 

She still couldn’t look at Sesshômaru as he entered her room upon her invitation, so she kept her head down. The moment he sat next to her she went rigid. “Look at me,” he said calmly. Squeezing her eyes shut she forced herself to turn her head in his direction before opening them once more. She gazed into his honey eyes, what was it about him? He utterly and completely confused her. For ages he had been the first male individual to touch her without her flight instinct kicking in, even now, after everything that had happened it wasn’t his proximity that made her flinch, but the odd closeness and familiarity of his action that irritated her. “Anastasia-”

“I’m sorry Sesshômaru,” she blurted out before he could continue, she could feel the tears building up behind her eyes. His brows furrowed for a tiny bit before relaxing once more. “And why do you apologize to this Sesshômaru?”

“For calling you a liar,” she whispered softly, hanging her head. He huffed and rose her face to meet his gaze. “It is this Sesshômaru who should apologize,” he began but stopped. His eyes looked sad and it seemed as if he was fighting with himself. “This Sesshômaru was..”, he stopped again. He was what? Was worried? Sad? Angry? Annoyed? What? He frowned as if he was unsure how to put his words together. “The moment you were taken this Sesshômaru came looking for you.” She felt her heart pang at his words. Speechless she let him continue. “This Sesshômaru searched but Naraku sent his minions to slow me down.” Hearing Naraku's name made her skin crawl at the memory of her wounds and panic slowly set in her bones. “He even had Kagura scatter your scent with her wind.” Her world stopped when she heard his words and her breathing hitched, remembering the threats and verbal abuse of the witch, who had handed her to to the monster. He paused, looking at her with soft eyes. “This Sesshômaru had nothing to do with them taking you. This Sesshômaru is aware that his former ties to Kagura may seem compromising but-” 

“Stop!”, she croaked, fighting the tears and anger that was slowly building up within her. She couldn’t take it anymore, it was too much.  

“Anastasia,” he said softly raising his hand to touch her. She flinched, squeezing her eyes shut as she turned her head away from him. “Please don’t,” she breathed softly, unable to stomach what he was telling her. “Don’t touch me, I can’t handle it.” In all honesty it wasn’t his touch, she genuinely would love for him to take away her hurt with his touch but at the same time it was unbearable. “Just leave me be, I need…” What exactly did she need? Enough time so she did not have to think of him and Kagura in a heated embrace the moment he entered her vision? Yes, that would be a good start. Without uttering another word he left, just like that. When she was sure he was gone she fell atop her futon, disappointment weighing heavy on her weakened limbs. 

What had she expected? For him to stay and beg for forgiveness? Not going to happen, ever. What the fuck was wrong with him? How dare he! How dare he fuck the woman who had captured and helped to torture her, and expect her to be alright with that? Oh the irony of it all. He even had had the audacity to tell her, straight to her face, that he didn’t fuck around. Bullshit! And idiot that she had been, she had apologized to him for calling him a liar, he fucking was! Her fingers curled around a pillow, her nails digging deep as a new wave of anger pulsed through her body. “Fuck you, Sesshômaru!”, she yelled throwing the pillow across the room, reaching only a few feet from her.  How damn, fucking weak she was, infuriating! “This is all his fucking fault! I hate that guy! I fucking hate him with his stupid, silky, poodle hair!”, she cried, punching her second pillow. “High and mighty my ass, end of the day he’s a horny dog, just like the rest!”, she roared, clawing her way through the pillowcase and ignoring the quiet voice in her head telling her that he hadn’t slept with her. Fuck him and fuck this place! And fuck this time in particular! With a mighty rip the fabric gave way, showering her in soft, fluffy down.

Hot, angry tears streamed down her cheeks, her heart throbbing with every hateful word she thought about him. Why did it hurt? He meant nothing to her, so why? Why did it feel as if she was hurting herself? Tired of the headache that throbbed against her skull she flopped onto the futon, tossing her hand over her eyes as the tears continued to flow and absorb into any material they could find. That very moment she realized she was wrong. He did mean a whole lot to her, he had to, after all it had been the idea of him saving her that had given her strength during her captivity. She had thought of him, not Kagome and the others. Why? Was it because he was the strongest? He was a protector, cold and aloof as he might be, she knew by heart that he would do everything in his power to keep his pack save. She had seen how he had reacted when Rin had hurt her leg, it had been but a second and he was there, ready to slaughter anyone who had dared lay a hand on his little ward. They had spent much time in Edo so surely he considered her pack enough to save her. Thinking back on that time that seemed to have passed ages ago she suddenly understood why this hurt so much. Why she could no longer stand looking at him. It wasn’t because she liked him, it was because he was her friend, because she had opened up to him. Told him about her past, felt safe with him, only to find out that he had some kind of relationship with her tormentors right hand woman. He had betrayed her, he had taken her trust to flush it down the drain. In a way he had fucked her after all. This revelation left her feeling weak beyond compare. She didn’t cry anymore, but she didn’t exactly feel anything either.     

Exhausted, she rolled towards Mayumi’s voice, the night had been too short and her sleep too restless. Mayumi picked up on her mood, the evidence of her breakdown still present in the form of ripped pillows, and silently served her breakfast. She ate little, not feeling hungry in the least but not wanting to worry the woman. It was a companionable silence that stretched between them over the course of her meal while Mayumi replaced her bandages. “We’ll be starting your training today Ojô-sama,” Mayumi informed her, as she slipt the yukata over her shoulders. Ana groaned, “Do I have to?”

“If you want to get better, Ojô-sama.” She said it in a polite tone, almost making her believe that she had a choice. She had none. They would make her if she didn’t do it of her own accord, telling her it was for her own good. It was of course, but that didn’t give her any more motivation than offering her a popsicle in winter. Sighing internally she gave a nod and before she knew it she was being carried to a special area for her training.

She took her to what looked like a training room, nothing special about it just a an empty room with two long handrails, parallel to each other. Mayumi set her down at the beginning of the rails and released her once she got a good grip on the rails, before walking to the other end of the rails, “Walk towards me.” Taking a deep breath Ana took a step forward, which was a lot harder than she thought. How in the world had she run the day before? Her muscles were stiff, stretching beyond a point that was unbearable. Gritting her teeth she took another step forward, stretching her legs as far as they would go. The muscles in her legs shook violently as she took another step, causing her to grip the rails tightly. She wanted to stop, it hurt too much and her body was too weak. “I know you can do it Ojô-sama, just keep going.” The smile on Mayumi’s face was warm and caring, giving her hope. Determined she pushed herself up and took another shaky step. 

Heavy droplets of sweat and tears rolled down her face as she made her way down the rails, forcing herself to take deep breaths before moving off again. Every step she took felt heavier than the last and her legs grew more tired with every centimetre she attempted to walk towards Mayumi. She stopped when she was a short distance from the halfway point, frowning when her legs refused to move any further. They shook beneath her, threatening to give way under the weight of her body, she wanted to stop and looked at Mayumi who smiled encouragingly at her but never moved to help her. ”You’re almost there, Ojô-sama.” Ana frowned, she didn’t want to, she couldn’t take another step. “I know it hurts, Ojô-sama but it will make it better.” She huffed, pushing as much weight as she could to her feet and slowly took her time, walking towards Mayumi. After what felt like hours her shaking, sweaty hands grabbed onto Mayumi’s steady ones as her body slumped tiredly against hers. “You did well, Ojô-sama.” 

 


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know it's been a long time and I'm really sorry for that. This chapter was incredibly hard to write and for some time I just couldn't figure out how to do what I wanted to do. But then my beta stumbled across a beautiful solution in springandbysummerfall’s dragon ball fanfic “accidental intimacy” (she's a huge fan of that one and you should definitely check it, as well as the other works, out).  
> I tried contacting springandbysummerfall, to ask for permission to adapt said solution but sadly haven't gotten any response yet, so if you should read this I hope it was OK to go ahead and that I could do your idea justice.  
> Now one quick Warning: this chapter does again contain torture and violent themes, and as always, beware of Ana’s foul mouth!  
> And finally I hope you have fun reading this chapter, as always I love getting reviews and, so don't hesitate to leave one behind!  
> PEACE!!

Run! Run! She urged her body but it wouldn’t respond to her commands. “Did you think you could get away from me?” he cackled menacingly. Tentacles shot from the darkness in front of her, pulling her still body towards the waiting predator. “Sesshômaru!”, she shrieked, disdain dripping from every syllable. Her hands reached for him but he just stood there with cold, calculating eyes that burned hatred. He didn’t move nor show any attempt to rid her of the tentacles that slithered over her body. Without as much as a second glance he turned and walked away.

Ana’s body jolted as a scream bubbled at the back of her throat. Tears streamed down her face, a hiccup escaping passed her muffled scream. Taking a deep breath she begged her racing heart to calm down, it was a dream, nothing but a dream, no need to risk her body betraying her with another attack. With a shaky hand she wiped away the heavy droplets of sweat from her forehead and neck. She lowered her aching body back onto the futon and closed her eyes but sleep wouldn’t come. Mayumi entered her room at sunrise, surprised that she was already awake. She watched as Mayumi served her breakfast, nibbling on her lower lip thoughtfully, contemplating whether or not to tell Mayumi about her dream but didn’t want to burden the female with her emotional problems. The woman already had to bend to her every whim and besides, this wasn’t the first time she was plagued with terrible dreams, she could handle it on her own, she had done it before. With a forced smile she ate breakfast and dreaded the moment she finished, knowing she would have to train as soon as she was dressed.

Ana clung on to the two rails willing her already aching legs into motion. They were only ten minutes into the training but it felt as if it had been hours. She pushed herself a bit more, determined to make the entire trip as she had done previously. Only a short distance left, she looked up from her feet into Mayumi’s eyes. “It’s okay Ojô-sama, one more step.” Smiling she adjusted her grip. Mayumi was right it was only one more step. By the power of her mind alone she made the distance, one more step. Again fearing the end of her task, knowing she had to attend Rin’s “tea party” with Sesshômaru’s mother.

Rin’s chatter could be heard down the hall as she made her way to her chambers. Ana smiled, the little girl brightening up her day without much effort, maybe this little gathering wouldn’t be that bad. The doors slid open as Rin dashed through them, coming to a halt when a warning growl from Sesshômaru’s mother sounded through the halls. “Rin, I will not repeat myself again, a lady does not run around like some jostling fool. She is patient and graceful.” She entered the room, showing the alluded gracefulness as a second nature while the servants quickly made their way to place the tea set down with the various desserts. “You may leave,” she commanded as she sat across from her among the pillows with poise only she seemed to possess, while Rin sat between the two, unaware of the tension in the air.

“Ana-sama?” Rin’s small voice called, pulling her observative gaze from the woman in front of her. “Yes Rin?”

“Would you like to hear about Rin’s day?” She nodded, watching as the female demon swiftly, yet elegantly cleaned the utensils with steaming water before again adding the powdered tea and steaming water. Cautiously she took the offered cup of tea, unsure of how she felt about being served by the woman, but accepting it nonetheless before turning her attention back to Rin.

Though she tried to ignore it, she could feel the eyes of the female demon observing her like a predator watching its prey. The woman did correct Rin if she made mistakes but for the most part she did not engage in conversation. “Rin,” Sesshômaru’s mother called, stopping the girls banter on the various flowers the girl had collected that day. “Yes, milady?”

“It is time for supper, why don’t you put the flowers in the vase and go with Mayumi?” Rin looked at her for a second with sad eyes before doing as commanded. Ana couldn’t help but feel her once alleviated tension return as Rin said her goodbye. “You are rather good with children.” The statement was short with a hint of calculated appreciation. It was random and she didn’t know how to respond. “My son seems to have developed one of his father’s odd traits. Can you tell me Anastasia, what does my son see in you that he deems worthy enough to keep you here?” Her eyes seemed to grow twice as cold as the words left her mouth. Ana wanted to retort as she normally would but decided to take a more cunning route, “Why don’t you ask him yourself. I’m sure he would love a conversation with his mother.” The word love dripping distaste as it left her mouth. The chuckle from the woman startled her. “My, my. It seems as if my son enjoys taking up challenges that could possibly have a negative impact on his life.” Brows furrowed she looked at the woman in confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“All in due time my dear, well I have to get back to my duties, we should do this more often. Of course this was not a typical tea ceremony, but I could teach you once your are better, if you’d like that. I’m sure Rin would love your company.” With that she was gone. What the hell was that woman’s problem? Was the Inu family weird or was it just her imagination? It was sure nice of her to offer such a thing, but how long did she expect her to stay here? And with the way she constantly scrutinized her...like hell would she willingly put herself in a situation like that. Whatever, she had too many things to think about and one of them was how to deal with her nightmares.

One more step. Her feet dragged across the floor as she tried to move her legs but she was so tired. The nightmare had come again and kept her wide awake for most of the night.

She sat at the table looking down at her food with a scowl. It wasn’t that it looked unappealing, she just didn’t feel like eating. “You need to eat.” It was Sesshômaru, his voice left no room for argument or disobedience. Reluctantly, she picked up her chopsticks and slowly ate as much as she could.

She lay on her futon too afraid to close her eyes but too drained, mentally and physically, to think much less move. Acid crawled up her throat causing her to push up on her elbows, dinner seemed to be fighting back. She swallowed thickly, urging the undigested food back down her esophagus. Grateful for Mayumi’s foresight she grabbed the bucket as saliva pooled under her tongue. She heaved up even the last grain of rice she had eaten that day, leaving nothing to strengthen her body. Weak she fell back onto the futon, still panting from the effort.

One more step, Mayumi said, yet again, when she noticed that she hadn’t even covered half the distance after thirty minutes. She was taking pity on her, something Ana didn’t like but she was too tired to care. This was inconceivable, being unable to use her legs to the fullest capability. Everyone’s concern was grating on her nerves as well. Mayumi’s overly gentle touch, as if she were a doll, the other servants sympathetic looks; as if they understood what she was going through, along with Sesshômaru’s and surprisingly his mother’s random, soft, worried growl; she could almost believe that they were truly concerned instead of hiding their unwanted pity. She understood, she was a human, she was weak, they didn’t have to remind her with their actions. It made her feel out of place but she wasn’t about to let them know that and besides, would they really care if they knew the truth?

One more step. This was her mantra, trying, yet failing but never giving up. Her legs had grown weak in the past three weeks. Not enough sleep, not enough nourishment from either throwing up or not eating at all. A smile was on her face but the fire in her eyes waned as hope slowly crumbled in front of her. Sesshômaru didn’t approach her not even to see if she had progressed in her training. It hurt, more than she cared to admit..

One more step. She couldn’t take another step. Her nightmares had taken a toll on her and her eating habits had gotten worse, everything she saw looked like the dead flesh that lay splattered on the ground when Naraku had held her in the middle of the battle field. Sesshômaru’s mother had even sent her to the healers to see what the problem was. Why? She knew where the problem lay but it was none of their fucking business. The way they looked at her from their high horses, breathing superiority wherever they went...what did they know about her suffering? What could they possibly want to know about it?

One more step. She couldn’t take it anymore. The constant persistence of Mayumi, even Rin’s bubbly personality irritated her. Everything around her scared her, every little sound made her jump and the guards she passed left a deep fear within her bones. With the lack of sleep and no nutrients her body was even weaker than it previously had been.

With no progress made Mayumi had proposed a change of scenery, urging her that somewhere new would help improve her training. She complied, too tired to protest. Though smooth, the stoney pathway in the garden wasn’t as flat as the boards in the training room. Her feet dragged along the path, a fist clenched around Mayumi’s arm to keep a steady balance. Each step, though small was agonizing, her own body weight; though not much, a burden on her shaking legs. The progress was there compared to her time spent in the training room but when her foot snagged on a loose stone it was over. Instinct had her take a step forward to stabilize herself but her already tired legs wouldn’t respond. It was a long fall, her arms reaching forward to soften the blow to her body. Eyes clenched shut, she waited for the impact that never came. Instead of the harsh stony surface, her arms were met with sturdy, rough hands. They snaked around her body, holding her in position. She jerked, trying to wiggle herself free from the tormentor only to find those hands forcing her in place. This could not happen again! How had he found her? The dreams! Dismissing them had been a mistake! In a world like this, of course such a thing was possible! She couldn’t go back. She could not have him touch her again. Could not have his tentacles writhing across her skin again. She could not! How? How? A frustrated scream escaped her lips and she was free, finally feeling the cold smooth stone connecting with her head then all she saw was black.

What happened? She looked up into golden eyes filled with rage and concern. Where they always like this? Why, why must she be this broken in his embrace? She was not worthy. He said nothing as he carried her to her chambers, his steady heartbeat revealing nothing of what he must have felt moments ago. After laying her on her futon he looked her over once then left without saying a word. Was she that broken that he didn’t see the need to converse with her? She just lay there, staring at her room’s ceiling. How far had she walked that day? 10 steps? 20? Sesshômaru’s body heat had felt nice when he had carried her here, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to never walk again?

“Just one step, Ana-sama.”, Mayumi begged of her after she had collapsed on the floor where Mayumi had placed her by the bars. “You can do it, Ana, please!” She could not.

A rattle woke her, she frowned, it wasn’t even close to morning and Mayumi never disturbed her as she tried to sleep. It grew louder in her ears, she growled in the back of her throat, a quirk she had at some point adapted from the demons around her, and pushed herself into a sitting position. The day had gone terribly with Sesshômaru’s mother pointing out the obvious that she had gotten even thinner since the last time she had addressed it and she was doing worse than ever in her training. The woman could at least have possessed the decency not to remind her that if she didn’t heal she would be paralyzed for the rest of her life. Sesshômaru on the other hand was unreadable as usual and for once didn’t stop his mother from verbally abusing her. To make it worse Mayumi had told her the same thing earlier that day as she had watched in disappointment as she had sagged to the floor at the beginning of the rail! She was hot, tired and irritable so whosoever was in her room would at least be verbally attacked. No one was there. Annoyed she laid back onto the futon only to hear the rattling again. She grumbled in irritation and sat up again, “Look, whoever you are, I’m too tired for this shit-” Her breath hitched when she saw the large tentacle in front of her. Slowly it crept from the shadows, Naraku’s body followed moments after. “Well now my little toy, is that a way to greet me? I’ve come to retrieve you. Look at what they’ve done,” he frowned. “I took so much better care of you. I would never have let you get this thin and weak.” She couldn’t speak, she wanted to scream but couldn’t. He knelt in front of her, nudging her legs apart with his own. She wanted to close them but knew they wouldn’t respond. His hands caressed her skin as he knelt between her thighs, his fingertips trailing over the angry black welts where his tentacles had marred her skin. “They are so beautiful,” he whispered softly.

“No, please,” she whimpered, as she turned her head away from him, her own voice sounding foreign in her ears. He gabbed her face, “I do as I please, you are mine after all. Do you hear me? Mine!!” His tentacles wrapped around her arms and legs and slowly dug beneath her skin, a scream escaping her lips from the throbbing, sizzling pain as the pieces broke off, wiggling under the surface like maggots crawling inside a piece of rotten meat. “Do not forget this,” he said disappearing into the night. She stared, wide eyed, as the pieces wiggled beneath her skin, crawling up her arms. No! Frantically, she dug her nails into her flesh, ignoring the pain that surged through her arm.They had to come out! She needed to get them out! Get them out before they ate her alive! Blood trickled down her arms as she continued to claw through her own skin, but no matter how deep, she could not find the parting gifts. “Get out!”, she screamed, frantically trying to cleanse her arms of Naraku’s dead flesh. “Get out!”

She thrashed violently when someone grabbed her wrists. “No! Let go of me! Please,” she sobbed hanging her head when the hold would not loosen. “Anastasia.” The voice was stern but gentle. She slowly raised her head, looking into amber eyes, shining with concern. “Sesshômaru?”, she whispered softly. “Sesshômaru,” she sobbed, “I have to get them out, Naraku he… his tentacles are squirming under my skin.” Sesshômaru immediately turned her arms around viewing where she had clawed at her flesh to confirm her words. He looked at her, his features hardening. She gasped, “You don’t believe me?” the words soft and filled with hurt. “Anastasia-”

“Can’t you see them? They are everywhere!” She ripped open her sleeping yukata, digging into the flesh of her stomach where the tentacles squirmed beneath. “Enough!” He grabbed her hand, stopping her assault on her breast where she had traced the little maggots. Hysterical, she tried to twist herself free from his grasp, “I have to get them out, why won’t you believe me! They are there, can’t you see?”

“There is nothing to see!” he growled, stopping her frantic movements effectively. She stared wide-eyed into his golden eyes filled with disgust. “All I see is your torn flesh dripping with blood.”, he said, bringing her own bloodied hand in front of her eyes as proof of his words. His features softened, “You were dreaming. Nothing more.” Tears pooled around her eyes and streamed down her face. “But-”

“Do you want me to smell for him? The only thing I can smell is you blood and the heavy fear it carries.” Her head hung. It all felt so real but it had only been her imagination. This couldn’t be,. She stared at her shaking arms while Sesshômaru called Mayumi and ordered her to clean and bandage her wounds. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off her flesh felt like it was on fire. Dazed and still in shock she sat there staring into space before a cup was brought to her lips. The warm liquid slid smoothly down her throat leaving nothing but warmth in the pit of stomach and a minty taste in her mouth. After the cup was emptied her whole body felt at ease and her world turned into an empty dream.

“Wake up Anastasia.” The voice was stern, commanding and yet had a tad bit of softness and concern within. This was not Mayumi, she was more than sure of the fact as her heavy lids blinked open to see the one person whom she didn’t want to see her in such a pitiful state. As usual he was perfection to behold, looking down on her with his usual stoic mask of indifference. Why the hell-, Before she could voice what was on her mind he spoke, “This Sesshômaru is well aware of the fact that you do not wish to be in close proximity but given the situation and circumstances this could not be avoided. This Sesshômaru would not sit idle and watch you wither away under his care.” The only thing Ana could do was blink up at the demon lord, a bit astonished by his words but oddly comforted by them. “Get dressed. This Sesshômaru has someone for you to meet,” he commanded yet again. To this her anger spiked and the words tumbled out of her mouth. “Excuse me? If you didn’t notice, I can’t!” His eyes narrowed with an ever so slight tug of his lips. “Maumi won’t be around to assist you today, surely you can accomplish at least this much. The training you have been recieving must have worked some way, or have you been idle the past weeks? If the task proves to be too much, perhaps you would prefer my assistance?”

“No, thank you.” The answer was swift. The thought of having his hands on her unnerving, she could not have him touching her the way she was. “I will be back in an hour and you will be dressed and fed.” God, she had forgotten how infuriating the man was sometimes. “Fine,” she said between clenched teeth as he slid the shôji doors of her chambers closed.

She was a panting mess by the time she was completely dressed, with her legs useless and her body weak as it was, it had taken quite a while. If that bastard thought that she would crumble under his command he had another thing coming! Satisfied with her sudden swell of determination she slid her tired body down the wall she stood against, drawing the small tray of food the servants had brought, close towards her. Not even completely three bites in a soft knock was heard against her door. “Come in,” she called after swallowing. Sesshômaru smoothly glided in, staring all too blankly at her spot against the far wall. “It seems as if you have disobeyed this Sesshômaru’s commands.” She blinked up in confusion then looked down on her meal, realization dawning on her. “Forgive me Sesshômaru-sama, but since This Anastasia had no assistance, getting dressed took longer than expected.” His eyes narrowed, “Eat,” he said as he slid into seiza across from her.

She forced as much as she could down her throat, silently praying that it would stay down. Wouldn’t want to puke on the bastard by accident. It was obvious he was not there to simply keep her company, but to make sure she ate everything and that she kept it down. She didn’t need a babysitter. Finished she placed the bowl and utensils down. Sesshômaru, standing before she even blinked, reached a hand towards her. “Would you like some assistance?” His underlying mocking tone irked her to no end. “I can more than handle myself,” she said with a small frown. Did he really think she would accept his help after what he had just spewed? She could do it on her own and she would. Slowly pushing herself up the wall she stood, ignoring the slight raise of his eyebrow as she made the daunting task of finding her way to the chamber doors. By the time she slid the doors opened her legs felt like lead and she wanted to do nothing but rest her aching body. “With your progress and stubbornness, we may have to break for lunch before we reach our destination.” Ana didn’t miss the taunt in his words. Oh how she wished to punch him in that pretty face of his. She scoffed and rolled her eyes waiting for him to give a command but he said nothing and simply began to walk away without looking back. Annoyed she inched her way in his direction, having nothing but the walls as her support.

Finally after what felt like hours of walking slowly behind lord fluffy pants they stood before the entrance of a garden. Her body leaned heavily against the frame of the shoji doors, her palms along with the rest of her body covered in a sheen of sweat from the efforts she had put into getting this far. She looked at his offered arm, unspoken command evident in the air. She wanted to protest but knew she wouldn’t be able to make it inside the garden without any support. Swallowing her pride for only this moment she took his arm, leaning most of her weight onto his firm body. She tsked softly when her heart fluttered, the fact that him being near affected her in a way similar as at the hot springs... All thought ceased when the memory came back and she silently reprimanded herself for even thinking along those lines. That was dangerous. Instead she focused her mind on walking as efficiently as possible and the scenery before her. Lush green grass plastered the floor of the large space, trees littered about in vast quantities, their fallen leaves complimenting the green of the grass. The stone pathway they were on was similar to the one she had previously trained her legs on, but the stones were much smaller and were not just grey but brown, black and light blue. They rounded a pond under yet another tree, lily pads floating above while multi colored koi swam beneath. It was breathtaking and to her surprise she had forgotten she was leaning on Sesshômaru's arm until he cleared his throat. Under a sagging tree was a woman with black hair in a high bun and deathly pale skin, her back facing them. As they rounded the leafless tree the first thing she noticed that the wrapped cloth around her head were bandages around the girl's eyes. She gasped, looking up at him. “This is Shizuka, the person this Sesshômaru wanted you to meet and who you will be staying with for now.” The girl turned her head when she heard Sesshômaru's voice, smiled and gave a small bow in their direction. He gently placed her next to the girl.

Having no signs that the woman was about to say anything she took it upon herself to speak first. “Hello? My name is Ana.” The woman just simply smiled at her. She scrunched her face in confusion and looked at Sesshômaru. “She doesn’t have the voice to speak.” Ana looked at him, wondering how they were supposed to communicate with one another. Before she could ask he placed her hands into the woman’s own. “Mayumi will retrieve you before dinner,” he said as he walked away leaving her with no explanation as to why she was to spend the day with the unknown female.

A soft, warm light engulfed her and a small voice called out to her. “My name is Shizuka, I am Sesshômaru-sama’s hand maid.” For a few seconds she wondered if Sesshômaru was the one who had taken girl’s eyes and damaged her vocal cords beyond repair. “On the contrary, Sesshômaru-sama is the one who saved me.” Panicked by the sudden voice in her mind she pulled her hands away from the girl, breaking whatever connection they had. She looked at the girl confused and afraid that she was able to read her thoughts. “How did you do that?” The girl merely smiled at her, offering her her hand and she realized that she couldn’t answer her without contact. Reluctantly she placed her hands back into the girl’s own. “I am a light demon... I have the ability to communicate with my mind.” Ana was silent. “Please forgive me Ojô-sama if I scared you.”

“No, I was just surprised. Why am I here? Sesshômaru didn’t really tell me much.” Though the warm touch of the sun and the calm scenery should have her feeling relaxed she was quite the opposite, especially since she was with and unknown female for no particular reason. The woman shifted atop the blanket they were on. “Sesshômaru-sama told me to speak with you. It seems as if you have been suffering from terrible nightmares lately.” Ana hissed as she sucked in air between clenched teeth. That damn bastard.“It’s not something I want to talk about.” Ana frowned, why was he always interfering? “Sesshômaru-sama is just worried, Ojô-sama.” A slight breeze shook the sagging branches leaves fell and fluttered around them. She scoffed inwardly, at the woman’s words “As if.” The man hardly conversed much less looked at her when they were around the dinner table. The girl smiled. “That could be, Ojô-sama, because you had told him to leave you alone.” Ana looked at the woman, a bit of guilt eating away at her but she still held her ground. He could have at least tried. “Sesshômaru-sama, is very respectful to one’s personal space. That is to whom he deems respectable, he may not seem like the caring type but that is just his outward appearance, I am proof.” Ana’s brow shut up in question, remembering her words from before “He saved you?”

“Yes, Ojô-sama. He saved me from the taijia. It was a long time ago, I was young and the light demons were migrating but I got separated from the others. As I tried to find them I came upon a group of taijia. Since I didn’t know how to use my powers I was captured. I woke up only to find my hands and feet bound by chains that could sap demonic energy. I was terrified. For the first two weeks they left me there with no food or water. When they realized that even at a young age demons could go for a while without nourishment they found other ways to make me feel pain. They plucked my nails and when that didn’t satisfy them they whipped me as punishment for my sins.” She chuckled, “Sin that’s what they called my birth. A sin as if I had asked to be born a demon. By the time they were done with me my vocal cords were useless. That’s when they took my eyes. When I regained consciousness I was engulfed in a world of darkness, for a light demon who mostly relies on sight it was a disaster.”

Ana scoffed, this couldn’t be true, she was a demon. She couldn’t, no, wouldn’t be able to understand any of this, even if she had been a child. The woman’s carefree voice was proof of it. Why were they doing this, just to get her to talk? This was ridiculous and rather cheap for a demon lord. “Ana-sama,-” Shizuka’s voice was stern but surprisingly soft. “How am I supposed to believe a demon when it was a demon who did this to me in the first place?” She interrupted furious, the word demon leaving her lips with more venom than she had intended it to. The woman’s hand loosened around hers and she could feel the hurt through the connection. What was she saying? Not all demons were bad, Inuyasha and Shippo being great examples, and it sure as hell wasn’t this woman who had tormented her for weeks. “I’m sorry, that was really stupid of me to say.” she said softly to Shizuka. There was a long moment of silence. “I will show you then, Ojô-sama, but I must warn you, what you are going to see are my memories and what I have gone through may be just as grotesque as what you have. If it becomes too much please do stop me.”

The memory of her own torture was all too fresh in her mind, but, she had to know. No. Needed to know, to see if she could trust this person, to rely on her because she actually knew what it felt like to be at the mercy of your enemy. “I’m ready,”she said. This time she felt herself being pulled, drawn down the depths of a long hall, through an open door. The first thing she heard were screams, they were long and high-pitched. She looked for the source only to look, beyond blurred vision, up to a man with a grin on his face. Her head dropped as a whimper escaped her lips. Tiny fingers lay sprawled out before her. This wasn’t her own hand, could this be.. All thought process stopped as another scream tore through the room. Another nail was pulled out and blood pooled and dripped from the exposed area, before dribbling to the floor. Ana felt the bile rising in her throat at the image she saw but she had to keep going, she had, after all told the woman she was prepared to see it all.

Her vision went blurry before she faced a wall, focusing on the small cracks in the mortar, her nailless fingers clawing into the seams between stones whenever the whip cracked through the air behind her. The voice that came from her mouth nothing more than a whimper as the flesh from her back tore with the wet sizzle Ana was too familiar with..

Back in the hated chair she could barely see, the eyes too tired to focus. A man grabbed her face, a fear scorching through her veins, that wasn’t her own, had her know that it was the very same man that had pulled out the girl’s nails. He stared into her eyes. “For someone in your position, your eyes hold a lot of hope. How about we remove those bright hazel eyes,” he said with a grin in his voice. She could do nothing but stare as a hand reached out towards her eyes. There was a sickening squelch, then the tear of flesh and then the edges of what vision she had left grew dark until all was black. The feel of Shizuka’s emotions bombarded her when she regained consciousness, the despair she had felt when she realized that she wouldn’t be able to see anymore. A terrified scream ripped the blind girl of her despair and fear rocked her lithe body at the prospect of even more pain and suffering, but the hand on her cheek was gentle and oddly familiar to Ana. The disapproving growl music to her ears. “What’s your name?” Sesshômaru’s voice held sympathy, something that seemed foreign to her yet quite fitting at the same time. She couldn’t say anything and he must have assessed her damages quickly because she could feel gentle hands picking her up. The embrace was everything she remembered and everything she needed, Ana sighed in content, not caring if Shizuka was aware of how her memory of Sesshômaru’s gentleness affected her.  
Ana found herself back to reality, frowning when his warmth vanished, her brain trying to wrap the new information around her head. How had she been able to overcome her overwhelming despair? Ana opened her eyes to see a small smile on Shizuka’s face. “Ojô-sama it is time for dinner.” Mayumi’s voice spoke gently beside her causing her to look up at the demon. “It would seem that we are out of time Ojô-sama, perhaps next time I will be able to answer your question.” Nodding dumbly she took Mayumi’s outstretched hand and the three walked back to the castle.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry it’s been so long. My computer decided to literally die on me and I had to deal with graduation stuff and moving , so yeah basically my life has been a hot mess. BUT, I’m BACK and have another chapter for you guys. Thanks to everyone who was waiting patiently for my return. Things are gonna get heated in this chapter (finally!) so hold on to your reading device and enjoy the read. :) Please comment me your feedbacks, they help motivate me and let me know what you guys did and didn’t like. Thanks again and PEACE!

The air was chilly, something that was expected in this autumn weather. She didn’t mind, enjoyed it even. Mayumi, on the other hand didn’t. Lately it appeared that her handmaid wished to suffocate her with kimono layers, as if she wasn’t wearing enough already, enough to survive arctic winters to be precise. Not to be defiant, but she wasn’t frail, she could handle a little cold, even if she was just a human. 

Breathing in the cool fresh air was the best thing she had done all day. The sun, obscured by the clouds, gave the garden a soft mystical look like a carefully crafted painting. The burnt orange and yellow leaves of the sakura trees made her wonder for just a second if she was in a wonderland. She wasn’t, of course, and her reason for being here was everything but wonderful. Did she really want to hear the end of Shizuka’s story? Was she ready for it? Hearing the gruesome part had been hard on her, but now at least she knew she was not alone, but the story of Shizukas healing? What if it was the same as hers as well but she couldn’t pull through like the demon had? A soft squeeze of her shoulder brought her back. Mayumi was there, silently telling her to move on, not just with her feet but with her mind as well. The touch itself was reassuring, knowing that a touch like that was against the strict protocol of the palace, and yet Mayumi chose to put her hand on the line. Shaking her head, and with it hopefully her worries, she took a hesitant step forward, a soft smile adorning her handmaid’s face as she gave a nod of approval. 

As she sat down next to the quiet demon, she wondered yet again, if she was truly prepared for this. Would this even help her? Or would it make things worse? Nervousness intermingled with excitement, two emotions that did not go together in this moment of uncertainty. She looked at the woman sitting in front of her, her hand outstretched towards her so she could take it. Taking a deep breath she took a hold of her hand, prepared for the warm light to engulf her but nothing happened. Confused, she opened her eyes only to see blossoming cherry trees surrounded by a field of flowers and a bright blue sky. What? How? “I’m happy you decided to come again Ojô-sama,” Shizuka said, bowing slightly towards her. The confusion on her face was evident. “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable before Ojô-sama, I didn’t want to scare you so I created a scene that was familiar to you. I hope you do not mind Ojô-sama.” she quickly interjected answering the unasked questions. “Oh, no, no, that was very thoughtful of you, thanks,” she replied, both dumbfounded and awestruck. This was not something she thought Shizuka could do. “Shall we get started?”  
“Well, yes, if you are willing to share,” she chuckled nervously, still amazed at the scenery around her. The air suddenly turned grim the seriousness of the situation settling heavily around them. Silence seemed to drag on for a while, the sound of the breeze and the shaking of the cherry leaves the only sounds around them until Shizuka sighed. It was something Ana never expected to hear because she seemed calm all the time. “I have never told anyone about this, mostly because it is something personal, but knowing that you are dealing with something similar to what I went through, I want to help.” Ana nodded, understanding what she was saying. She herself hadn’t and still didn’t want to talk about what had happened to her when Naraku had kidnapped her. It was just too painful to remember. The feeling of dread engulfed her, the sound of her heart thundering in her ears as past fear creeped up on her. 

“I won’t force you into telling me what happened,” Shizuka’s voice pulled her out of her panicked state. Ana frowned, with them not holding hands in this world, she had forgotten that she was linked to the woman’s mind. “Forgive me, I wasn’t trying to pry.”  
“That’s fine, I just forgot that we were connected.” She took a deep breath, exhaling it slowly, “You can begin when you’re ready,” Ana said, trying to push the topic forward. Shizuka gave her a soft smile. “I was not mistreated here.” The serious air returned, making her want to shy away from it but there was no turning back when she had already come this far. “No one dared to mistreat me because I was personally brought in by Sesshômaru-sama, just like you. The reason why it was hard was because of the pity. You see, for a demon pity is…”, she stopped, mouth slightly open, trying to find the right words. “Like a brutal beating?” Ana offered, but was hushed with a chuckle. “Oh no, nothing like that, if I beat you up you’re still human, aren’t you? But how did you feel, when your legs were not working? When Mayumi had to carry you around like an infant? When you couldn’t just go to relief yourself, but had to wait for someone to take you?” Ana shuddered, remembering all too well how that had been for her. “Not human,” she answered, bowing her head, ashamed of what she had to live through. “Like my life wasn’t worth living anymore. I wasn’t my own person.” The sad twinkle in Shizuka’s bright eyes was proof enough that she knew exactly what Ana had been talking about and for a moment she wondered if the pale blue had been the woman’s original eye-colour before they had been gruesomely removed. “Now that is exactly what you do to a demon, if you pity them, you take away their worth, in your eyes and their own. It w-” 

“It’s the same for humans, you know,” Ana interrupted, her voice higher than it should be. “The whole castle pitis me, if it’s so terrible for demons, why would you do it to me?” She felt her ire rise. The nerve of that woman! “I apologize for their behaviour.” Shizuka quickly sputtered. She paused, gathering her words before speaking once more. “Humans and demons are quite alike, and even though with Rin’s presence here, all of us at least started to accept the human race, but… To many, humans are pitiful to begin with and … there is really no nice way of putting this, I am sorry.” It was obvious, that Shizuka was ashamed of this aspect, so much so, that Ana got the feeling that she herself was no different than those demons she had described, for some time at least. “It’s okay,” she tried to reassure her. “I guess I am pretty weak compared to you guys, it means a lot that you have changed your stance on the subject.” 

“Thank you Ojô-sama, however, I was always sad for what had happened to you but have never pitied you”, Shizuka said, bowing before her as if asking for forgiveness, when there was nothing to forgive. Of all whom she had encountered during her stay, Shizuka was the last one that should feel guilty in any way. “Please continue, Shizuka-san, I think I might be able to relate to your story rather well,” Ana joked, trying to lighten the mood with a hint of sarcasm. “You probably can,” she smiled as she continued, “Although I could not see, I could feel the pity that everyone had for me and it made me sick. I wanted to get away from it, the eyes that I could feel on my back, the whispers and the pity in their voices. They knew that a light demon was worthless without their sight, they knew, so the only thing they could do was pity me.”

Shizuka’s past hurt washed over her like the cool autumn breeze, wrapped beneath a layer of comfort and reassurance, but it still felt way too real, and way too fresh. She wanted to reach out and touch it, but then she spoke again. “After some time I became weary of it all and decided to just wither away, just like you. I stopped eating and I embraced the pity. When the head maid realized what I was doing she immediately sent me to Sesshômaru. I remember his overwhelming presence. It was like a weight on my chest.” Shizuka shuddered as she remembered the feeling, a shiver running down Ana’s spine as the phantom power washed over her. “He told me that he had not brought me here to wither away and die under his care and that I was expected to have a full recovery.” She smiled softly, causing Ana to shift uncomfortably. “I’m grateful he was stern with me,” she laughed, unaware of the slight change in Ana’s emotions. Her laughter, light and airy like a birds morning song turned into a chuckle. “He wasn’t lying when he had said that I would be making a full recovery. Everyday I was sent to his study where I had to eat everything that was given to me and he would talk to me about any- and everything. Sometimes he would forget I was there and his usual stoic demeanor would drop and I would even hear him chuckle at something he found amusing.” A small smile crossed her face as she remembered the moment and for a second jealousy tried to force its way to the front of Ana’s emotions. She didn’t want to imagine Sesshômaru being casual and relaxed around anyone but herself and of course Rin. The realization startled her. He didn't belong to her, so why was she so upset? Shizuka’s voice interrupted her inner argument, pulling her back into the story. “Then one day he told me that he wanted me to be his handmaid. He said he found me trustworthy and since I was getting better it would be best for me to get some routine back in my life. I knew it was mostly because I couldn’t speak but I was honoured. I worked hard to please him and he would sometimes buy me little gifts and praised me for working hard.” Ana squirmed uncomfortably with the new information she was given. Hearing about Shizuka’s past interactions with Sesshômaru bugged her more than she would have thought. “I cannot say that my recovery story was the best in the world but I can tell you that Sesshômaru-sama is a lot more considerate and caring than he shows himself to be.” Ana frowned at her statement, if that was the case he would be trying to help her. “Can I be frank, Ojô-sama?”   
“Sure,” she stuttered nervously, remembering that she was linked to the woman. Damn it! And just moments before she was wallowing in jealousy. She could slap herself.  
“I know you think that Sesshômaru-sama hasn’t been doing anything to help you, but you are wrong. When you were brought here he was frantic. I could feel that his energy was bothered.” Ana shuddered as the remnants of the memory engulfed her. So much power, frantic was putting it mildly, furious more likely. To release so much power when he was normally in control. “Mayumi told me that he didn’t want to leave your side. After you woke he calmed a bit but then you were getting worse again and just like before he became frantic. Why do you think he sent you to me? If he did not care I do believe he would have left you there to die.”  
Shizuka’s words stunned her. She hadn’t realized that he was truly trying. Was she just being stubborn towards the fact? “I must tell you something Ojô-sama.” She took a breath then continued. “A few months after I became his handmaid I unconsciously awakened my abilities. We found out that I could speak telepathically. When the castle doctor heard of this he urged Sesshômaru-sama to find a way to get me me to retell everything that happened to me before I was taken in. I was hesitant but Sesshômaru-sama was determined and I eventually told him. He comforted me as I told my story, and in the end I felt as if a massive weight was lifted off my heart. As I said before I cannot force you to tell me what happened, but I know that it will be better than bottling it up.”   
Ana released Shizuka’s hands, destroying the world she had just been in. She looked at the woman. She wasn't lying, not that she would. Why would she go through the trouble to? Her chest constricted, her eyes squeezing tight as the flood of memories overwhelmed her. She shook her head, she was not ready to let it go. Not now. “Ojô-sama, it is time for dinner.” Mayumi’s voice caused her to jump. It took a while for her eyes to adjust to the dimly lit gardens. When had the sun set? Mayumi’s face contorted to concern. “Ojô-sama?” Ana flinched, the drumming of her heart too loud in her ear, Shizuka’s touch feeling too cold against her skin. The voice echoing through her head was too loud, a shiver running down her spine as memories started to resurface. It all needed to stop. Clenching her eyes, she dragged a shaky hand across her forehead, feeling the sweat that had begun to form there. “Ojô-sama?” That was Mayumi. It’s okay, you’re safe.” She reluctantly opened her eyes and looked at the extended arm, then towards Shizuka. This was not the way she expected the day to end. Her near panic episode left her heart beating frantically within her chest. Taking a deep breath, she could feel the first signs of exhaustion seeping in her bones. After a few short moments she took the extended arm, leaning most of her weight on Mayumi as she tried to balance herself on unsteady legs.   
Throughout her preparation and dinner the only thing that was on her mind were Shizuka’s words and her reaction towards the end of the session. Ana, what’s wrong with you? This is not who you are. You are stronger than this. All this and more filtered through her mind as she ate dinner. By the end of the night she had build up a resolve strong enough to override fear. She would become better, stronger. Not just because Sesshômaru was trying his best to help her but also because she wanted to be independent again, feel like herself again.  
Having a new purpose to live was one thing but keeping the resolve was another thing altogether. It was no easy task getting her body back to the way it was before the whole ordeal. Her nightmares still came and sometimes she just couldn’t keep down her food but that didn’t stop her. After many talks with Shizuka she had mustered up enough courage to tell her what had happened. She cried herself dry. Pulling up the past hurt, but by the end she felt better. The memory wouldn’t fade but the pain no longer lingered. She found herself smiling for the first time in a while and strangely enough she found that she could approach Sesshômaru.  
“I just wanted to tell you thanks for saving and helping me.” He stood before her, his usual demeanor evident for everyone to see and feel. God he was so arrogant. “It was nothing,” he said after a while. “You know you could say you’re welcome,” she retaliated annoyed by his tone. He huffed and began to walk away. “You’re still an asshole,” she chimed as he rounded a corner. He turned mischievous eyes towards her and gave a small smirk. By the gods, he took it as a compliment. She stood there flabbergasted by his behaviour, but then again it was Sesshômaru. The guy was full of surprises.   
After that small encounter she didn’t know how to approach him. She tried talking to him but the conversation ended in awkward silence most of the time which made her wonder if it was even worth trying.   
Weeks turned into months and her resolve to try and have a normal conversation with him from time to time shattered. He grew distant and it made her feel as if he didn’t want her around anymore. The castle became more like a prison than a place of restitution. She missed her friends, her freedom. Fed up with it all she decided to talk with Sesshômaru so she could visit Kagome and the others. Determined she marched to his study. She knocked and waited patiently for him to answer. He couldn’t tell her no, right? She had been behaving as best she could and apart from the bandages and scars around her thighs she was fully healed, surely he would let her go. “Enter.” She slowly opened the door. “Hey, Sesshômaru,” she called out nervously. She had had so much confidence when she was coming here, when had it all disappeared? Swallowing her sudden fear she blurted, “Since I’m healed and can basically walk on my own and such, I was wondering if I could visit Kagome and the others?”   
“No.” The answer was swift and it took her a moment to realize that he had answered her at all. “What?” she asked, disbelieving what she had just heard. “This Sesshômaru will not repeat himself, now leave my presence.” Stunned she stuttered. Her throat started to close as anger reared its head. She had come here..asked politely.. and he said no?! “Now hold on..?” she chuckled, trying to push away her anger. Maybe he didn’t hear her well with all that hair on his head. Yeah, it had to be clogging up his ears. Yeah, he didn‘t hear, that’s all.  
“Anastasia!” She jumped at the shout of her name. “Leave. Now!” he commanded, his voice bouncing off the walls, fangs longer than usual and the stoic visage replaced by a vicious scowl. She swallowed thickly, fear overwriting her anger. That didn’t last for long as she turned and slammed the door behind her. That stupid, arrogant, mutt face, fuck him! She wanted to scream but decided against it. It wouldn’t do well to add more fuel to the fire, boy did she want to connect her fist to his face. Clenching her fingers to the point that her nails pierced the skin of her palm, she swallowed the words she wanted to scream at the overly pampered poodle fucktard that resided behind the closed doors. This was one of the times she wished she could size him up and knock him over the head. She sighed, rubbing her temples, the feel of a headache coming on. It was time for her to calm down before it turned into a full blown migraine. Groaning she decided it would be best to wander the halls of the castle, what better way to calm down, since that was the only fucking thing for her to do in this damned place? What was his problem? She just wanted to see something new, visit her friends. Was that so hard to do? Even Rin had more freedom than she did. She was so deep in thought she didn’t realize someone in front of her until she bumped into them. “Sorry,” she apologized. She was not expecting Sesshômaru’s mother. “Oh, Mizuki-sama.”  
“You seem to be deep in thought. What has you bothered?” she asked. “Your son,” she answered flatly. “Hmmm, what has he done this time?” Ana looked at the woman. “I just wanted to leave so I could visit Kagome and the others.”  
“Oh, is that all?” Ana looked at her, annoyed by her aloof view of people's freedom, the very same view her arrogant tyke of a son had shown her moments ago. The snarky remark was at the tip of her tongue already, when Mizuki spoke again, “If my son doesn’t want you to be free in this world, why don’t you lose yourself in the collection of books in the library? I’m sure he’ll come around eventually.” The library? Right, Shizuka had mentioned it in one of their meetings. Had she seriously forgotten something as important and exciting as a book in her hands? It was , unbelievable that she had stayed here for so long without ever reading one. It had to be about half a year since she had fallen into that blasted well, what had she done all the time? Oh right, getting tortured by a sadistic maniac and being taken in by a fucking pooch as if she were a stray… Reading sounded like a good idea actually, knowing, that Mizuki had not stayed for her memories to unfold before her eyes she walked down the corridor without a second glance whatsoever. By now she was used to the sudden disappearance. Why did they always do that?  
It didn’t take her long to find the library. Surprisingly, no one was inside the brightly lit room. She looked around in awe, there were so many shelves layered with books. As she gushed over the amount of books she could read, one in particular caught her eyes. It was not on the shelves like the others but opened on a table and it looked as if someone had been reading it but had left suddenly. Curious she picked it up.   
Saying the title was cryptic was a massive understatement. It had nothing to do with the actual story that filled the book. Even though it said it was a diary it reminded her more of a fantasy love story than anything else, painting a vivid picture of the phenomena that former demon lords have experienced when their inner demon choose their mate. The hopeless romantic in her instantly took over and slowly but surely her imagination took her to a new world. The way each lord spoke of the first moments they realized who was to be their mate, the way they smelled, their undying love and respect for their other half. As she read she wished that someone would see her in that light. A fairytale come true, and after all, how else would she find someone, damaged as she was? Her hand reached between her legs, almost four months now and she still wore bandages. The healers had worked hard for her, but as it stood the wounds would never fully heal, her flesh still refusing to close. Actually, finding love was the least of her problems, who the fuck cares if someone would think you’re attractive with thighs blemished like that, if every miniscule bacteria could kill you? And living in a time without sterilized utensils of antibiotics no less!  
“Found something you like?” Ana dropped the book, startled by the voice. “Fucking damn it!” She cursed grabbing her chest. Mizuki stepped in front of her, a sly smirk on her face. “Jeez, can you people not give me a heart attack and make some noise when you walk?”  
“Oh come one now, I wasn’t even trying and besides I’m a predator. We have to be stealthy.”  
“In your own home?”  
“One, such as myself, can never be too careful in a castle such as this.”   
“That must be exhausting,” Ana said drily. Mizuki waved a dismissive hand. “I asked a question earlier.”  
“Oh, yeah, this book.” She slid the book across the table towards her. Gathering the book in her hands Mizuki turned it around, inspecting the covers. “Ahh, interesting one isn’t it?” Ana gave her a curious look. “It is! I’m already halfway through, even though I had some trouble with the more complicated signs. It’s really exciting for a diary.”, she bubbled, her trouble with the woman’s son and the beginning mysophobia all but forgotten for the moment. Mizuki chuckled airily “Why yes, and all of it is true, life does write the most amazing plots, doesn’t it?”  
“It is true? It’s beautiful!”, just thinking about being the recipient of such unconditional and unyielding love made her heart race. Almost enough to miss the veil of sadness over Mizuki’s usually piercing gaze, almost. She looked at her in question and the smile the woman gave her was far from reaching her eyes. She looked almost broken when she answered “I assume you haven’t reached the chapter about unreciprocated choices yet. It is not beautiful at all.”  
The topic seemed rather personal for her. Was that the reason for the decades of hatred between Sesshômaru and Inuyasha? Had her inner demon chosen their father, while his had not? Thinking about the intensity of such a bond, described in the book it must have ripped her apart when he had left. Now what do you do if you hit a touchy subject with a demon that could rip you apart within the blink of an eye? Apologize? Maybe?  
“I’m sorry, Mizuki-sama, I don’t mean to pry, but what happens then?” she tried meekly, almost expecting her attack. She didn’t, instead she huffed: “pry all you want, little one, but you should know best.”  
Ana gave her a confused look. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Mizuki scuffed, leaning onto the table to meet her eye to eye. At that moment Ana felt an impending amount of dread. What the hell was going on? “I am speaking of my son. You have been around him lately have you not?”  
“Yeah, and...?” She wanted to move but the way Mizuki’s predatory eyes stared her down kept her pinned to her seat. Mizuki sighed, straightening herself. “Have you not realized that Sesshômaru has been spiraling into despair?” Her voice filled with pain.  
“He’s been meaner than normal, that’s all,” she replied shrugging. Mizuki scowled, her eyes flashing red for a second. “Is that all you’ve noticed?” Her question was clipped and filled with agitation. “I mean..” she trailed off, not really understanding what was going on. “You’re observative skills are severely lacking,” Mizuki remarked with a hint of disgust. Offended Ana remarked, “He’s a grown man, he can take care of himself.” Mizuki suddenly turned tense, demonic energy rippling in the air, her deep growl bouncing off the walls and pressing all air out of Ana’s lungs. Stuck between confusion and fear, she sat completely still, the power that was just released prickling her skin. Mizuki stared at her, her exquisite features just as viscous as her son’s had been earlier that day. Blood drained from her face, as the old wooden floor hissed from the acid dripping off the woman’s claws, she’d kill her for sure. Her breath held, she watched as Mizuki clenched her fists and within an instant the cool and aloof aristocrat was back. What the fuck was going on here? “ He is around his chosen mate, who is currently fertile and she rejected him. That would drive anyone insane.” The way she said it was eerily calm for someone who was just furious a second ago. Ana stared, jaw slightly ajar at the woman before her. She could not mean? “Don’t be dense child.” She left without uttering another word.   
Ana slumped in her chair unsure of how to accept the information that was given to her. Now that she thought about it, when she had seen him earlier he had looked really bothered, with bags under his eyes and his hair was a bit messy. Was she really the reason for it all? How did this turn dire so quickly? Granted that she did ask for someone to show her undying love like the women in the book. She groaned, the beginnings of a headache making itself known once again. What the fuck was she supposed to do now? Maybe sleeping would clear up all the clutter and confusion in her mind. Yeah that sounded like a great idea.  
She blinked her eyes trying to focus on the door of her room. Was it morning already, did Mayumi just enter her room? She blinked once more only to see Sesshômaru. “Sesshômaru.. what?” She pushed herself off her futon and approached him. “Your mom told me. I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t know.” He gently placed a finger on her lips. “It’s okay, now that I have you I won’t let you go.”   
She found herself back on her futon with him looming over her. “Sessh…” He sealed her lips with his effectively silencing her once again. She melted in his kiss, loving the taste of his freshness and raw power, forgetting everything that had happened earlier. The only thing she could focus on was the feeling of his fingers ghosting over her exposed flesh, causing goosebumps to rise over her skin. A shiver passed through her body as a moan escaped, bubbling at the back of her throat through their kiss. He released her then, his amber hues filled with lust and something akin to love. He attacked her lips once again, licking her lips and demanding passage. She allowed it, letting him dominate her tongue, wrapping his tongue around hers.   
She gasped for air, a moan following as he suckled her neck and gently dragged his claws over her thighs. She pulled away from him, She couldn’t… “Shh, I promise I won’t hurt you, I-” he broke off nuzzling her neck and nipping gently at her jaw.   
Her sleeping kimono was gone, as his fingers began their ministrations once again. She relaxed, allowing him to wisp her away to a world of bliss. His kisses moved down, ghosting over her neck, collarbone, chest before finally latching onto her breast, suckling softly. She shuddered as his fingers glided over her womanhood, lightly touching her bundle. Fingers fisted his robes as he pressed a bit harder before gently rubbing once again. Her legs trembled, her toes curling and uncurling as she moved her hips in time with his light probing. She tried, oh how she tried to get him to move on, her earlier reservations forgotten, to quench the heat that was burning between her leg; but he continued to tease her, intending to drive her crazy with how he was playing her like a fine tuned koto. He finally fulfilled her wish, pressing into her with ease. Her fingers found their way through his hair, fingernails lightly scraping his scalp as she moaned out his name. He swallowed her moans with another kiss, slowly moving his fingers within her; curling them before pulling out and lightly touching her bundle then repeating the process. The heat in the pit of her stomach grew, her eyes squeezing shut as it intensified. He released her, nibbled on her ear, “Cum for me Ana.” The heat of his breath, his voice heavy with lust was enough to push her over the edge and she did as he commanded.


	13. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, guess who’s back! That’s right, this author and with another chapter. Yeah, it didn’t take me months to post a new one hehe…. Well, it’s going to get a little intense in this chapter. We haven’t seen much of our Demon lord so it’s time to find out what’s up with him :). I wanna thank everyone who has left a kudos on this story, it means so much to me. But you wanna know what would make it better…. If you guys left a review, yes, that would let me know how I can improve and how you really feel about the story.. Anyways, enough of my rambling, time to read! PEACE!!

Ana gasped, bolting out of her futon, sweat trickling down her face. She grabbed her chest, the sound of her heartbeat thundering in her ears. The dream had felt so real and damn that was the best wet dream she ever had and it wasn’t just because of how wet she felt. It felt as if his touch was lingering on her skin. Did it really happen? She shook her head. That couldn’t be, for crying out loud he was too modest. Okay, so it was a dream. She chuckled, it wasn’t far fetched considering the fact that she had wanted the man before her ordeal and he was still the same hot Sesshômaru. Just a different circumstance. She groaned, dropping back onto her futon. More than likely whatever Mizuki had told her was true, she had no reason whatsoever to lie about the issue and for a woman like her to become this emotional… She shuddered, remembering the look in her eyes. If that was the case she needed to make a decision and make it quickly. If, however, she wanted to do this she would need to learn more about Inu culture. Being educated on the matter would be better than going in blind. One thing she knew was that she had to talk to him, apologize at least. She should give him a chance and figure out how she really felt in this whole matter. She didn’t want to give him hope but she also didn’t want to hurt him. Now that she thought about her past actions she wanted to slap herself. Whatever, now that she knew, she was determined to fix it. Mind made up, Ana decided to learn as much as she could until she could figure out a way to approach Sesshômaru.  
The library would have been the best place to get information but she needed information fast, especially after Mizuki had told her about the harsh reality of rejection. Who better than the fearsome mother of the one who was being afflicted? She was the type of woman who would do anything for her son, so giving her a lesson on Inu culture would be easy, right?

Ana questioned her sanity as she approached Mizuki’s evening room. It was just yesterday that she had seen a glimpse of how mama Inu could kill her without hesitation. She wouldn’t because that would hurt her son, so she had an advantage, at least she would like to think that. The woman could easily hurt her in other ways. That thought alone made her shiver in fear. Okay, no need to have negative thoughts. You have something important to do. With that small resolve she walked toward the guarded door letting one of the servants know that she wanted to speak with the Lady. The servant disappeared for a few seconds, then returned to escort her to where she would meet Mizuki.  
“It seems you have made a decision?” Ana turned her head towards Mizuki who stepped past a door connecting to an adjoining room. The only thing she could do was stare at the ethereal woman, her hair loose as opposed to being in its normal hairstyle. Instead of her royal purple clothing she wore a light blue kimono littered with blossoming spring flowers. “It isn’t polite to stare.” Ana shook her head out of her stupor, still in a bit of awe at the beauty of the woman. It really shouldn’t be a surprise, but it was still breathtaking to see. “How did you know that’s why I came?” she asked, curious. She wrinkled her nose, “It’s in your smell.” Sensing her confusion she continued. “You reek of nervousness, which leads me to conclude that you are here because you have made a decision, one I might not like. So tell me, what is it?”  
Ana stuttered a bit taken back by the accuracy of this woman, still unhappy with the fact that everything she felt could be sniffed out so easily. Clearing her throat she answered, “Since we both know that I care about your son I wanted to know if you could give me a lesson on Inu culture,” She paused, licking her suddenly dry lips before continuing, “ Um.. I haven’t made a decision to accept, if anything I wan.-”

“You won’t accept?!” Mizuka exploded, obviously not liking the way the conversation had turned, eyes instantly turning red. Ana jumped, overcome with anger, unaware of the danger she was suddenly in. “I didn’t say that!” Mizuka pointed her finger at her accusingly, “Do you know what you’re doing to my son?! For the past couple of months I’ve had to watch him fight a one sided duel with madness and he's failing. Being so close to the woman he is supposed to be with and she didn’t even know he’s slowly dying on the inside!” 

Angry tears swam in Ana’s eyes as she stared at the female demon. “That’s not fair,” her voice cracked, “How was I supposed to know that his demon chose me to be his mate? That there were consequences on his end? What if I don’t like him back? How am I supposed to make a decision when I don’t know anything about him! You forget that I’m just human!” Her chest heaved, throat suddenly dry from the outburst. “And that may just be the problem.” Mizuki whispered. Eyes wide with shock, body vibrating with pent up emotions she stared at the demon. How dare she pin all of this on her! She hadn’t asked for this, never asked for this! Just as she was about to retort, and possibly say something she would regret, the doors burst open. “Jouou-sama!”

“What!” Mizuki responded, not sounding like the imperial lady she was supposed to be and Anas breath hitched upon seeing the bloody shell that must have at one point harboured a powerful demon. “It’s Sesshômaru-sama.” the guard rasped, clutching onto his side with an arm barely even attached to the rest of his body. “We couldn’t...” he continued coughing, “You were attacked?”, Ana asked in horror, but the guard shook his head, blood from the gashes blemishing his face dripping onto the tatami while he did so. Averting her eyes from the bone clearly visible, Ana pondered, what on earth could be strong enough to disfigure an Inu soldier like that? He looked as if he had started to disintegrate, as if hit by some chemical, slowly eating away his flesh. Dread filled her as she realized just who she knew to use such a chemical as a weapon. “We...He has lost control.” The last statement was a whisper as he collapsed onto the floor, confirming her fear, skin and flesh still sizzling and burning. Mizuki looked at the body, growling in anger and frustration. Ana, however was bewildered and terrified. That’s impossible. Why would Sesshômaru lose control? That’s unlike him. That’s when the earlier conversation came back to her. Could this really be her fault? The thought alone had her chest constrict painfully, bringing more tears to her eyes. “Leave.” Mizuka directed to her. “Wha-”  
“Leave. I have to go rescue my son before his beast consumes him. You’ve done enough,”’ She turned to leave but Ana spoke without thinking. “I’m coming with you.” Mizuki turned on her heels, amber eyes staring back at her like daggers. “You will do no such thing. As I have said before you have done enough.”

“I can help.” Ana pushed, not sure why but something, a feeling of sorts, told her that she could be helpful. It didn’t seem as if Mizuki was listening to anything she was saying. “How in the world could a mere human be useful in a situation like this? The man you just saw dying was one of our strongest soldiers, I won’t have my son live with the guilt of killing his intended mate!”, the woman barked, just barely holding on to her humanoid features. How could she make her believe? She had to go, had to try at least “He won’t hurt me,” she said, not knowing where that conviction came from, but sure of it nonetheless, “If-if I don’t prove to be useful, or can’t stand up to it, I’ll leave.” Her heart felt as if it was about to break, but why? “I’ll- I’ll leave so I won’t hurt him anymore.” Mizuka looked at her, contemplating her plea. “I, as a mother will not allow my son to live such a life. Seeing your determination I will allow you to come, BUT make no mistake, if you do not prove to be useful I will not hesitate to leave you behind. I don’t want my son to end up like-” She broke off, giving Ana a sad smile as if moments ago she wasn’t about to rip through the girl. “Go get yourself prepared. We leave in five minutes.”  
It didn’t take long for her to be saddled onto Ah-Un and Mizuki to leap gracefully into the air, ki cloud gathering underneath her before flying away. As they travelled, her mind wandered, was this truly her fault? How far from madness was he? This was her fault, if it wasn’t for her he wouldn’t have been in danger. She shook her head, intending, but failing to shake the feeling of guilt that weighed on her mind. 

Several minutes later she could feel his presence. They weren’t even near him and his power felt as if it was crushing her body. Ah-Un trembled beneath her, losing altitude and landing altogether. An agonized howl ripped through the skies, her throat closing up as fresh tears streaked down her face. “Ah-Un, please,” she whispered, the lump in her throat making it difficult for her to speak, “please.” The cry got louder, more agonized if possible. She wrapped her arms as far as she could around the two headed dragon. They trembled again, whimpering when another wave of demonic energy washed over them. “Please.” she tried again. The dragons slowly got up, pushing through their struggle before taking a leap into the sky and flying as far as they could go before landing once more from the suppressing energy.

It was close enough to see how truly massive he was. His mother flew above him, while guards tried but failed to get close to him. He shook his massive head, slamming his body into a nearby mountain. “Sesshômaru,” she whispered, a choked sob cutting off any words she would have said. Another wave of energy sent her to her knees, a sudden sharp pain shooting through her body. She gasped for air, grabbing her chest, the pain all too similar to her asthma attacks as if a heavy object was placed on top of her. Her body collapsed, curling into itself as the pain intensified, her breathing ragged and shallow. Another howl echoed through the skies sounding even worse that the previous one. Eyes squeezed shut, she willed her body to get off the ground, pushing herself harder to move. She had to help him. She had to! What she felt probably could not compare to the pain that he was feeling at this moment.

Just as she was about to cry out, the air around her shifted, getting lighter. Surprised, she looked down at her hands to see a soft, pink light surrounding them. She heard a whisper, “Go to him. Do not be afraid.” Wha- before she could even ponder the thought there was a loud whimper. Heart clenching she turned to see Sesshômaru, his giant form on the ground with a beast, much like his own, its teeth in his neck. “Mizuki?” Frantic she searched within for answers on what to do, hoping her inner voice would help her out. “Just one touch,” it echoed through her mind, light and airy as if a thought of her own and yet utterly different. It sounded insane that just her touch could do anything but a gut feeling was telling her to trust the voice, so slowly, pushing herself off the ground she approached the subdued beast. She was but a few feet from his form when his eyes snapped open. Startled she jumped back, yelping form the surprise. Blood red eyes filled with pain watched as she inched forward, another whimper gurgling at the back of his throat. Her hand was just a touch away from his muzzle when he jerked away, twisting then slamming his body so that Mizuki would release her grip. The force wrenched the others teeth from his neck, a sickening crack permeating the air. He turned his feral gaze towards her, disregarding his mother, whom he had just shaken off of him a moment ago. Hands clamped over her ears as he barked, the sound leaving her deaf for a moment. Her eyes snapped shut waiting for him to attack but after a moment the heavy thumping of her heart reminded her of the life she still had.

Slowly opening her eyes, she found herself face to muzzle with the beast. A growl passed his lips, a sneer exposing his deadly fangs. She could feel herself slowly hyperventilating, a testament to the fear that was slowly swallowing her soul. Swallowing, she tried to keep the fear from rising but to no avail, she was rooted. “Do not be afraid,’ it whispered again, “He won’t hurt you.” She swallowed again, trying to wet her dry throat and once again tried to push back her fears. “Don’t be afraid.” The fear she felt slowly ebbed away, her breathing slowing down as she looked into his eyes. He had stopped growling and was merely observing her. Slowly, with a renewed sense of calm she tilted her head, exposing her neck as a sign of surrender. His piercing gaze softened, a look of astonishment gracing his canine features before he growled once again as a warning for her not to move as he sniffed her. He nudged her with his wet nose, a low content growl permeating the air, apparently he was satisfied with her actions. Slowly, she drew her hand upward, delicately touching his jaw. There was a low hum as she touched him then a blinding white light engulfed the world. 

Everything felt heavy, her vision blurry while white and black spots danced behind her eyes. She blinked, rubbing her eyes to help clear her vision. A clatter caught her attention and she turned her head to see Mizuki straddling Sesshômaru. “Drink Sesshômaru, do not make me force you.” Vision finally cleared she looked on with furrowed brows as Mizuki growled in frustration before striking the back of her hand viciously across his face, the sound echoing in the forest. He coughed and she poured the liquid into his mouth before slapping her hands over his mouth. Ana called out to him, eyes widening as she watched his body twist, hands trying weakly to pry the fingers from his mouth before going limp. She gasped, anger filling her body, “You’re killing him!” Mizuki rose gracefully, huffing when she turned to look at her. “Don’t be foolish.” She winced, putting her hand to her neck, frowning when she saw blood on them. “Insolent pup used his poison on me. He’s lucky I’m immune or I would have broken his fingers and knocked out his teeth as punishment.”

Ana looked at her, wondering for a moment if she was completely crazy. “Do not look at me as if I have grown a second head.” Ana said nothing, too perplexed amongst other things to form a coherent response. Her eyes travelled from the woman to the body next to her, gasping when she saw the teeth marks on his neck and gashes on his abdomen. “How-?” she breath “Do not worry, you didn’t hurt him. That was from me.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” she muttered. “It wasn’t supposed to. Regardless, I have given him a sedative so he’ll be out for a while. Since we cannot move him in his current condition you will stay here with him while I fetch the healer,” she commanded, no room for argument in her voice. “You’re going to leave me here alone with him like that?!” she squeaked. Mizuki looked at her with a raised brow. “From what I’ve just seen, you can handle yourself well enough.” Ana looked at her with disbelief. “Do you trust me?” Was that supposed to be a trick question? Nevertheless she nodded slowly. “Well trust me when I say you’ll be safe.” She took one more look at her son, her features softening just a bit before turning and flying off.

Ana looked down at the sleeping form, wincing as guilt made itself known. She slowly walked over to him, kneeling at his side. He looked terrible, sweat plastered his bangs on his forehead, his abdomen littered with bruises and claw marks. His clothes were tattered, blood and mud covering the silk garment. Teeth bites, that were slowly healing, were etched in his neck and a long gash ran down his arm. She flinched, imagining the pain he had to be in. As she looked at him her heart felt as if it would crawl out of her throat, she wanted to cry but it seemed as if she had dried herself out. A shaky hand reached out to brush away his bangs, his skin cold and clammy to her touch. Unsteady breaths escaped her as everything that had happened that day finally sank in, she was tired. When would the healer arrive?  
After what she assumed to be hours, judging from the low dipping sun, she knew something was wrong. It shouldn’t have taken the healer that long to get to them. Sighing, she rubbed her eyes for the thousandth time, trying to get rid of the sleep that plagued her. A groan caught her attention and she looked to see Sesshômaru’s face contorting in pain. Panicked she bit her lips, trying to figure out what to do. Hesitantly she reached forward, tenderly caressing his cheek, hoping that that would calm him. His eyes fluttered open, face contorting into confusion as he tried to figure out who was beside him. “Anastasia?”

“Sesshômaru,” she choked, a sob hiccuping at the back of her throat. It took all of her will power not to lunge onto him. “Wha-what are you going here?” he panted. “You shouldn’t be talking, the healer isn’t here yet.”

“You shouldn’t be here,” he reprimanded, groaning as he tried to get up. “Don’t move. You’re making it worse.”  
“I’m healing, it’s fine.” He tried once again, succeeding this time to get to his feet. Ana stepped closer to him when he staggered, but he gathered his composition before she got too close. He turned from her, holding his wounded hand as he walked away. Growling she walked behind him. “Sesshômaru, you shouldn’t be moving. Your wounds-”  
“Will heal!” he stopped, taking a shaky, deep breath before walking forwards once again. “I know that, but you’ve been out for hours and I know you heal faster than that, your wounds aren’t even closed yet.” She spoke slowly, trying to reason with him. Why wouldn’t he listen to her for once? He suddenly stopped, his non injured hand pressing against something invincible in front of him. He growled, turning another direction before stopping. “It seems as if mother had no intention of sending that healer you mentioned.” She looked at him, bewildered by his words. “What the hell do you mean, she said-”  
“She lied,” he growled, body tensing for a moment. “I hear a river nearby and judging from the smell of the area I know where we are. Come.”, She scowled at him for his command but at this moment she was too tired to argue so she just followed. Sure enough, after many minutes, due to his slow movements and his pride for asking for help, they made it to the river and a short distance up the bank was a cottage.

She looked at him, worried as he hissed, sliding down its wall to sit. “Sesshômaru, let me help. I helped you once.” When he didn’t reply she grabbed his arm, stopping him from removing his haori. He looked at her, definitely, still refusing to say anything. “I’ll take your silence as a yes.” He growled softly. “You do not intimidate me, especially when you’re this..” she broke off her sentence, not wanting to say he was weak. That would have been the straw that would have broken the camel's back and she wasn’t in the mood to argue. He huffed, allowing her to help him remove the tattered clothing. She frowned, running her fingers delicately across the bite marks. “Why aren’t you healing properly?” She looked up when he didn’t answer. “Sesshômaru-”

“My demon currently hates me, so apparently he decided not to feed me as much demonic energy as punishment,” he scuffed, scowling at his revelation. “Oh.” Silence settled across the room but was broken a moment later when he hissed, touching his wounded arm. “I’ll go get some water from the river to wash your wounds.” Solemnly, she rose to her feet looking around the room to find something to gather the water in. She found a small bucket in an adjoining room then headed out to the river.  
The cool river waters lapped at her feet as she stood by the river’s bank. Bending she scooped up some water, rinsing out the bucket before filling it. When she returned his eyes were shut, his breathing even. He never stirred as she cleaned his wounds, removing any excess mud and blood from his torso. It took a bit of effort but she was able to move him, resting his head on one of the many pillows in the room. Tearing the already tattered clothing she cleaned the wound on his arm and torso before wrapping them.  
Finished with her task and left with a sleeping Sesshômaru she decided it would be best to find something to possibly change out of or maybe take a quick dip in the river to get rid of the mud and grime before the sun set completely. Now that she had time to actually look around she realized that the cottage was like a larger, much fancier version of Kaede’s home. The wooden floors were polished, a large fireplace in the center of the room. Cushions and furs adorned the floor, filling in the empty space. She should probably light a fire after she cleaned herself up. Walking back into the adjoining room she noticed a closet. Curious she opened it to reveal clothing, royal clothing at that. Why do I have a feeling that this was intentional? Sighing she looked around the room some more, noting that there were some candles and only one large futon. If she wasn’t so tired she would have cringed. One large futon, one room in a large cottage with royal female clothes and she was sure if she looked in the covered boxes that she would find male clothing. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who this place belonged to, and what had transpired here, so yeah cringing after looking at the futon did make sense. Definitely intentional, just like that damned book in the library, that probably was her doing as well. Taking the closest yukata she walked out the room and headed for a bath.  
After a quick cold dip in the river and changing, she was left in a dilemma. How was she going to start the fire? She was no girl scout and the only knowledge she had were from watching movies. Chewing on her thumb nail she pondered on how she was going to pull this off. Okay, so from what she could recall she needed twigs. Definitely needed dry leaves and she had wood. Nodding she ventured outside to collect the necessary items needed to start the fire. It took her a while, more than a while, before she got a flame to start but now it was stable and she felt proud of herself. Her stomach grumbled, letting her know that it hadn’t been fed in hours. There was nothing she could do because the sun had already hid itself and the moon had taken over.

She looked over at Sesshômaru’s still sleeping form, it was a miracle that he hadn’t woken up yet, but then again he was in bad shape. It hurt to know the truth, to understand that she had a large part to play in his current state of both mental and physical pain. Man, she really had some apologizing to do. Sighing she moved closer to him, collecting his fur to rest on before curling next to him. She didn’t want to sleep in the room by herself. As she lay next to him, his warmth radiating next to her, she felt a moment of happiness. It was just so right, but did she deserve it?


	14. chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, guess what?.... Yep, you guessed it! It’s that time again and this time I’m super early. Yay! \\(^^)/. We now move forward with the story and disclaimer there is a sex scene and mention of rape so if you’re uncomfortable with that be warned. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and if you do please fav, follow or better yet write a review. Shout out to my latest reviewer along with all those who faved and followed this piece. You have my heart (figuratively speaking). Now go enjoy some AnaxSesshy time. PEACE!!

When was the last time she had had such a peaceful sleep? The futon was a bit firmer than she remembered but warmer, the furs softer than she could recall. The only thing she could have gone without was the constant tickle of cool air on her neck. Groaning to show her agitation she tried to roll over only to find that she couldn’t move. Her eyes instantly flashed open, panic setting in for but a moment, for fear that she had been captured again, until she realized the position she was in. Sesshômaru, in his sleep, had draped an arm and leg around her, and tucked his face between her head and shoulder. She should have been embarrassed by the closeness but was actually rather happy that he had found comfort in her, although it was on a subconscious level. It was nice, being able to have him close like this. Would it be like this everyday if they mated? That would be nice. At this point it would be nice just being in his presence. Slowly drifting back into sleep, the thoughts of food filtered in her dreams until she heard her stomach growl. Eyes snapping open, she frowned, mentally begging the thing to shut up. Oh, but it was tenacious, it gurgled and groaned loudly, as if mad at her for not feeding it for so long, and that wasn’t the worst part. Sesshômaru had stirred. Squeezing her eyes tight, while trying to be as still as possible, she silently prayed that he wouldn’t wake, but life was cruel.  
He all but leapt away from her side, groaning from the sudden movement, his missing warmth leaving her cold and exposed to the cool air. She felt a bit disturbed by his reaction but couldn’t hold it against him. She, at one point, had rejected him; although it was accidental. God knows how he must have felt then. Sighing, she slowly rose, stretching slightly; her stomach once again cursing her for neglecting it. “You’re hungry.” She could have rolled her eyes at that moment for his rather obvious statement and tell him, no shit Sherlock, but she opted for just nodding. Quite frankly, now that she was fully away, she was grumpy and a bit on edge so who knew what would come tumbling out her mouth. 

“I’ll go hunt for food.” She looked at him then, wondering for just a second if he was serious, then berated herself. Of course he was serious, this was Sesshômaru for crying out loud, his funny bone wasn’t that big. Even knowing all of this she still said, “You have got to be kidding. Sesshômaru, that groan I heard tells me you haven’t fully recovered.”  
“This Sesshômaru is not a pup. I am more than capable of hunting, even with these insignificant injuries.” At that statement she paused. Why was she even arguing? The man was a demon after all and a powerful one. Why was she worried? Because you care, idiot. She frowned at her inner monologue. “You should cease your worrying.”  
“Forgive me for caring,” she bit back. Her stomach decided to stop the potential argument, grumbling impatiently at the lack of attention even though it had been talking to her since she woke up. “Fine, but I’m coming with you.” It was a surprise when he didn’t argue but merely got up and walked off, stopping at the entrance as if asking her if she was still coming or not. Stifling a groan and biting her tongue she walked behind him.

It didn’t take long for them to spot a doe in the forest. A stretched out arm indicated for her to stop and stay put. She watched on from behind a moss covered log as he got into a low crouch beside a tree, his body tensing, preparing to spring forward for the potential chase. The doe in the distance seemed flustered, body coming to a stand still, her head rising as if sensing danger. She looked around as her ear flickered after a moment before bowing once more to graze when she saw no impending danger. That’s when he struck, his body moving in a blur of white. The doe didn’t know what hit her, one minute she was feasting and the next her throat was caught between the teeth of her unsuspected predator, her body trashing for a few moments before going limp.

He stood after a moment, dropping the carcass from his mouth. Partially transformed, his blood red eyes scanned the area instantly stopping on her. Anyone in their right mind would have been terrified at that moment but she was far from it. The kill was so clean and precise, and although he was no longer human looking he still looked damn good. Taut muscles rippled with every ragged breath, demonic marks standing out drastically against his pale flesh. The red dripping from his fangs just added to his overall beauty, if one could call him such without much offense. His blood red eyes seem to bore into her soul. She paused, face heating up from the sudden embarrassment. He had caught her ogling and to make it worse he was smirking. The heat in her face grew more and at that point she just wanted to hide, knowing that he more than likely knew that she was pining after him, if his smirk wasn't evidence enough. He slowly licked his lips, cleaning the remnants of the blood. She swallowed thickly as a small shiver ran threw her body at the sensual sight. Why oh why must he be so alluring? He gave her a smug look, making her regret ogling him in the first place. 

“Oh get off your fucking high horse,” she barked, trying her best to hide her embarrassment, the grumbling of her stomach adding to said embarrassment. “We should get you fed before your stomach eats you.” She could only stare at him as he picked up the carcass with ease. Did mister fluffy make a joke? The world must be coming to an end.  
After his little “joke” she was cautious. He seemed different somehow and she couldn’t put her finger on why. Her thoughts stopped when she poked her cooking meat, the soft texture indicating that it was done. With a small squeal and a happy dance she took the piece of meat from its makeshift oven before cautiously taking a bite. Though it could have used some salt, the overall taste didn’t matter since her stomach was now being filled and would stop cursing her for being empty.  
With a satisfied sigh and a small smile, the thought of sleep weighed heavily on her mind until she look over at Sesshômaru. He was back in his corner, in zen mode as she would like to call it. What was wrong with him? One minute he’s jumpy then he cracks a joke and now he was all quiet again.

The silence seemed to just drag on as she sat there with him not moving and she left with her thoughts. The guilt of the whole situation was weighing on her mind and recalling what she had conversed with his mother she wondered if this was another sign of his madness. The silence finally got to her so she decided to make conversation. Come to think of it, he seemed fine so why hadn’t they left yet? “When are we leaving?” she questioned, hoping to start that conversation she thought of. Of course he didn’t reply, still remaining in his zen mode. “I won’t stop asking till you answer,” she continued, believing that at some point he would start to get irritated. After repeatedly asking, however, she quickly found out that he could ignore her forever without batting an eye. Finally fed up and still feeling terrible from her earlier guilt she blurted, “I’m sorry.” He opened his eyes then, giving her a frown. “Why do you apologize?”

“Because stupid…” His frown got deeper at that. “Because,” she sighed, “because if it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be like this.” Her stupid emotions were flaring up again and it took so much to hold back her tears. “There is no need for tears.” Her throat felt tight, as if it could close up at any minute. “I was just concerned,” she forced, miffed that he was being so numb to the whole situation. “You need not concern yourself for this Sesshômaru.”  
At that the damn broke, the tears pooling out of her eyes, down her cheeks. “And why is that?!”

“Wait,” she interrupted before he could speak, “Don’t tell me. Let me haggard a guess. This Sesshômaru is a great demon lord who doesn’t feel because THIS Sesshômaru believes that emotions make a man weak,” she rambled, giving her best Sesshomaru impression. She scuffed, vision blurring as she continued. “Christ Sesshômaru, I watched you go on a rampage and hurt yourself. You were laying in my arms looking as if you were on the brink of death.” The tears, pattered onto her yukata, her fists balling up in the material. Why was this happening? Didn’t he know that she cared, cared to the point that it hurt? It hurt to be with him, to be so close yet so far from him, while others like Shizuka had the opportunity to see him relaxed and unguarded, and yet it hurt to be without him because she would never get the opportunity to feel is touch which took all her fear of men away. Why couldn’t he realize that? Why else would she have attempted something so drastic back at the hot springs? “I wanna be your mate Sesshômaru, I-” Her voice cracked. She gritted her teeth in frustration, angry with herself for saying that, angry with him for hiding, pushing her away but at the same time it was her fault. “Some part of me deep down knew that I wanted to be with you but I was...am broken.” The last part was a whisper, but she knew he heard it. She looked up when he touched her chin, guiding her face to look into his eyes, which she refused to look in. “It seems as if I always make you cry,” he whispered, gently wiping away any escaped tears. “You are not broken, merely hurt. It was due to this Sesshômaru’s negligence that you were taken from me.”

“Don’t try to one up me sir,” she mumbled jokingly, feeling a bit relieved after the confession. He released her then. “I do not know how to handle so many emotions at once.” He continued after a brief moment of silence, the serious air returning once more. She sniffled, “Imagine us humans. We have to deal with them constantly. At least you guys know how to stop them.” He shook his head. “No we do not. We demons feel just as many, possibly stronger emotions than humans. We just know how to control ourselves better.” She looked in his eyes, the sadness swimming within them prevalent. He hesitated before continuing. “Anastasia, it hurts.”

“Where?” she asked, at bit panicked by the sudden change. “Everywhere,” he sighed. “It is not an easy task trying to constantly fight ones demon. Having it constantly bombard your mind, pushing past it's mental restraints in hopes of getting what it desired. It takes a toll after a while.” The revelation stunned her, the urge to cry overpowering her once again. He was hurting more than she was which was a frightening revelation. Pulling him as close to her as possible she promised herself that she would heal his troubled heart for it hurt too much to see him like this.  
.  
.  
.  
Heavy eyelids slowly opened, her vision focusing on the figure beside her, his face almost innocent like (emphasis on the almost). They must have fallen asleep without realizing it. She smiled softly, admiring his features a bit longer until he opened his eyes. “Good morning,” he greeted, voice husky and laced with sleep. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”  
“No, I should have been up.” She frowned at him. “You know, you don’t have to get up early. You need to rest and recover.” He smiled softly. “That was actually the best night sleep that I have had in a long time.” 

“Really?” she asked, surprised. He nodded. “What changed?” she inquired suddenly after a moment's thought, the need to know what was going on with him lately nagging at the front of her brain. He gave her a questioning look, regarding her for a moment before answering, “It seems as if being near you is more beneficial than being separated from you, which was foolish of me.” She looked at him confused, not fully understanding his answer. “More than likely it was my mother who told you about my situation and the role you play in it?” She nodded slowly, wondering where all this was leading to. “My demon has chosen you, something that cannot change.”

“But what about you? Do you want this?” she asked, unintentionally interrupting him. “You are assuming that my demon half is an entity of its own.” She nodded in response. “To some degree you are correct but that demon is me, my true form. So in saying that my demon chose you is saying that this Sesshômaru chose you. Although, it was more on a subconscious level.”

“Your instincts?” He nodded. “Ah,” she sounded in understanding. “But after you got taken and you were hurt I blamed myself. You are human and humans are fragile. I didn’t want to put you in danger, my demon’s first reaction was to kill you.” 

“Oh,” she mouthed, not sure how she felt about that revelation. “However, this Sesshômaru convinced it that I wanted to be close to you to protect you.” He chuckled then, “He calmed some but was then determined to forcibly mate you, especially when you were on your cycle. I couldn’t keep holding back myself so I tried to distance myself from you in hopes to possibly thwart my demons attempts in mating with you.”

“That didn’t go well,” she remarked, solemnly. “Indeed.” He paused before continuing. “After the recent chain of events, the most prevalent one being your ability to calm my demonic nature, it occured to this Sesshômaru that I was fighting a losing battle. Which lead me to my first answer.” She laid there, taking in all the information like a dry sponge absorbing water. She just couldn’t believe it all. “Besides, your persistent worrying and deep care for this Sesshômaru,” he looked her up and down then smirked before continuing, “along with the fact that you also want to be my mate and not use me for simple pleasure, solidified my decision. I will have you.” The memory of her at the hot springs flashing through her mind made her face heat up. “But you hardly know me,” she whispered, looking away. “There is a courting period that normally takes place before mating occurs, if you wish to indulge we can.” This was so much so fast. Was this really happening? Was it that easy for them? A simple courting and then they get mated? What about oppositions? She was a human after all and he was a demon lord. But his demon chose her, something that was out of their control, so... “Anastasia?” His call pulled her out of her revier. “Sorry, is it that simple?”

“If circumstances were better, I would have merely told you and asked. Be as it may, I am asking now.” She smiled at his forward demeanor, shaking her head at how quickly he had returned to being..well his normal self. “So when are we heading back to the castle?” He hummed before responding, “Seeing that my mother was so gracious in lending us the summer cottage, I believe we should respect her wishes. Don’t you?” She chuckled at his sarcasm, more than likely he was not in the mood to be back at the castle, let alone be around his mother. “I would love that,” she replied with a smile. It was nice to see that he had reverted to his normal self, to some degree of the term. It would be interesting to see behind the cold exterior. To find out what really made him tick, something that no one except a very select few would know and she was more than happy to be a part of the tiny group.

.  
.  
.

“So how does this work?” He looked at her with a raised brow. They had been walking alongside the river, taking in the scenery after they had lunch, which would be a little over half an hour now. They both agreed that they should start courting immediately but she didn’t really know what to do or say. “Normal demon courting usually includes the male or dominant partner showing off his or her skills in combat and hunting to show that they can provide and protect. Wealth can also be flaunted if one chooses to, but that normally involves politics, something I detest but unfortunately am centered around. But as we both know you are human so I would assume that things are different?” Ana frowned at that. All her life she had been afraid of men, not wanting to be around them, near then and sometimes not even look at them, so naturally she knew nothing about dating or courting. “To be honest I don’t know.” They stopped, him contemplating the situation.“It’s not your fault.” Damn it, why was she such an open book around him? “I am also unfamiliar with human practices in this area. We shall figure this out.” They continued along the stream until they reached a spot where the overgrown trees created a place to sit and relax under its shade. 

“I notice you really like being outside.” He looked at her, a smile on his lips. “I prefer this to being in the castle. Demons don’t do well in cages.”  
“You mean dogs don’t like to be caged?” She grinned at her reference but he merely stared, seemingly not amused. “I have noticed that you, Ana, enjoy finding ways to, as Inuyasha would put it, nag me. I have him to do that.”

“Yes, but you like me.” He smirked then, looking her up and down. “Indeed.” She could have sworn that his voice had dropped an octave lower. Heat pooled in her cheeks, her head turning away from him so he couldn’t see her face. She could feel his eyes on her, which made the heat build up even more. She knew what he was doing. “Stop that,” she demanded after a while, the blush she was sprouting taking its toll. “Stop what?” he asked as innocently as he could muster. “You know what you’re doing. Stop it.”  
“I have-”

“Can I ask you a question?” she asked suddenly, trying to change the subject. “Sure,” he nodded. “Why are you and Inuyasha so hot tempered?” He frowned at her question. “This Sesshômaru, is not ‘hot tempered’.” She could have sworn she saw him turn up his nose at the word. “I prefer the term belligerent.” She chuckled, “You know that’s just a fancier term for the word right?”

“I am well aware.”

“So you are hot tempered!”she exclaimed excitedly. He gave her a blank stare, indicating that he was not amused by her antics. “Oh come on, lighten up. We both know that I’m right.” He got up from off his tree branch, walking away from where she stood, back in the direction of the cottage. Oh, oh she had made him mad. “Are you coming?” he called when she hadn’t moved. She jogged up beside him, grumbling incoherently at the fact that he had left her. “Fine, so what was your favorite thing to do as a kid?” It was the first thing that had popped in her head. Not the most ideal, but she really couldn’t have thought of anything else to ask. He gave her a look, as if asking her ‘really?’ “What?” she mouthed, shrugging. “I engaged heavily in sword fighting and combat.” She gave him surprised yet terrified look. What was wrong with these people? “It is quite normal, given my status.”

“Basically you had no childhood.”

“Think what you may, I rather enjoyed it. It was one of the times I could enjoy being with my father.” The way he said the word father, filled with both regret and bitterness, didn't sit well with her. His features glossed over like a child who had stood by helplessly, watching his father go to war and never return. “What happened?” she asked, not sure if she really wanted to know but at the same time she did. “You don‘t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she interjected quickly. He shifted uncomfortably, tensing before sighing. “It’s not something that this Sesshômaru enjoys telling but since you asked.” She didn’t think that she’d basically hit the nail on the head. No wonder he and Inuyasha were so tense with each other. Both had lost a father but one had a closer relationship and to see him walk to his death, now that was depressing. That, however, did not justify what he had done to Inuyasha, but from what she had seen he was making amends in his own way.

By the time he had finished they were back at the cottage. The atmosphere was a bit glum and she felt as if there was nothing she could say that would have made it better, so she went the cliche route. “I’m sorry.” He looked at her, “There is no need to apologize. It happened 150 years ago.” The surprise on her face, made him chuckle. “How old are you?!” she squeaked. “Do you really want to know?”

“I mean, I don’t think my mom would be too happy with me dating an old man.” He frowned at her statement. “In demon society, I am, as humans put it, a young man. Inuyasha is a mere teenager who had to grow up too quickly.” He seemed to sag at the unintentional confession. Understanding that all of this was a touchy subject for him, she thought it would be better to change the direction of the conversation. “I won’t pry into that anymore. How about we talk about something else. Why don’t you ask me something?” He thought for a moment. “What is your fondest memory?”

“Hmm, I would say stargazing with my mother.” The thought of her mother made her frown. “You miss her don’t you?” She nodded sadly. So much for making him feel better, now she felt terrible. He carefully wrapped his arms around her, “Why don’t we go inside and get some sleep.”

“So much for this courting stuff huh, I’m just making it worse.” He pulled her close to his chest, gently tugging one of her braids. “We both have a troubled past. But now we have each other, let’s find comfort in that.” She nodded, feeling a bit better, although her heart longed to see her mother again, but now she could have somewhere she could call home.

.  
.  
.

It had been a few days now that they had been at this courting business. It was great, finding different ways to irritate him and being able to get him to smile. There was no more talk about negative stuff from the past and she had persuaded him into teaching her some survival skills he had been taught when he was younger, and today they would fish.  
Ana, currently thigh deep in the cold river with a makeshift spare in hand, concentrated as hard as she could to catch a fish. It was much harder than it actually was, even though lord perfect caught four in one swoop. Them little suckers could not keep still so she could nick ‘em. After a few patient minutes she got her chance. One seemed to be still, or as still as a fish can be, munching on a small fish it had caught. Sloshing as silently as possibly through the water she aimed carefully, squinting in firm concentration before throwing her spare. Her aim was, in short, terrible and she slipped on a rock, splashing into the freezing water. She burst through the water, sputtering uncontrollably while wiping water from her face. A chuckled caught her attention and she frowned at the outstretched had. “Need help?” She took the had, the plan to pull him in with her but when she tugged he didn’t budge. He pulled her to his chest, his face tucking in the crook of her neck inhaling her scent making her shiver at the closeness. 

Everything was fine until she coughed, the sound vibrating in her chest causing pain to shoot through her body and her breathing turned shallow. She felt him tense, “We need to get you warmed up. Last time you were like this you almost died and I will not have that on my watch.” She nodded dumbly, allowing him to lift her and take her back to the cottage.

She sat snuggly in his lap, his body heat along with the fire warming her up, his fur covering them both. “What is this illness that ails you?” Cautiously, she turned in his lap so she could face him. “Ah, in my time they call it asthma. It’s, unfortunately incurable and without my medication I have to be very careful.” He gently cupped her cheek, “I do not like that smell.” She frowned at him, “What smell?”

“That illness, when it befalls you I can smell it. It impedes your natural scent that I prefer to smell.” Blood instantly rushed to her face, suddenly making the room a tad too warm, making the urge to hide grow. However, before she could, he pulled her towards him until their lips connected. The kiss was tender and chaste, her eyes opening after a moment to stare into his. She couldn’t help but chuckle when she saw the blush that had covered his face. God, he was adorable and a large part of her wanted more. He opened his mouth, ready to say something but she stopped him with a kiss, this one more passionate than the first. They pulled apart after a moment, breath momentarily ragged from lack of air. She nodded at the questioning look in his eyes, that look that asked for more but also asked if she was okay with this.

Without a second thought he lifted them both up, taking them to the bedroom. This was happening. This was really happening. The thought, along with their last kiss left her lightheaded. She barely had any time to fully process the feelings of excitement and nervousness before his lips were pressed back into hers. Fingers found their way into his hair as she pulled him closer to her, wanting to be pressed as close to him as possible. They pulled apart after a moment, her lips tingling, their breaths ragged. She couldn’t help but chuckle when she noticed the blush he had sprouted earlier had reached his ears, leaving him flushed. Gods be damned, he was so hot. The lustful look in his eyes spoke volumes and she nodded to the unanswered question.

He crawled over her as she lay back onto the futon, his hair flowing around them. Air hitched in her throat as he began to peel off her yukata, the pads off his fingers gently caressing every inch of exposed skin as he went along. The cool air mixed with the electric buzz of his touch left goosebumps on her skin, making her shiver. She watched as he pulled back, opening the yukata completely, leaving her completely exposed to his watchful eyes. He paused, eyes staring at one spot on her body. Following his line of sight, she flinched, embarrassment and shame overpowering her when she remembered the scars that marred her flesh. He must have found her disgusting, it would explain why he was staring. “You are beautiful, even with the scars,” he commented caressing her jagged skin, as if reading her mind. “I will show you.” Heat filled her face at his words of acceptance. What had she done to deserve him? All thoughts flew out the window when he captured a nipple in his mouth, the feel of his rough tongue drawing out a soft moan. His hand slowly wandered down her body, caressing her sides and stomach down to her hips. She didn't know she was unconsciously moving them until his hand stopped her movements. “Impatient aren’t you,” he murmured, tongue encircling her hardened nipple. She hissed at the contact, her nipple sensitive from the constant stimulation. 

A shot of pleasure pulled her attention, a groan bubbling at the back of her throat when his fingers brushed against her womanhood. She gasped when he rubbed her nob, heart thumping suddenly with excitement at the touch. That. That was what she wanted. “Please,” she begged pushing her hips forward so that he would touch her there again. “Please?” he asked, lips rubbing lightly between her breasts, eyes glinting with mischief. Oh God why was he doing this? “Touch me more. Please!” she begged loudly, the heat pooling around her lower belly. She couldn’t help but moan her pleasure as he encircled, rubbed and probed her swollen nob. Shallow breaths rang in the air, eyes squeezing shut as she concentrated on the pleasure that hummed through her veins.

Sweat trickled down her face as the heat within her grew. It was not enough, she needed more. “More,” she pleaded, his touch no longer as effective as it once were, her womanhood pouring, begging for something else. “So wet,” he cooed, fingers leaving the nob to rub against her wet folds. She whimpered as his fingers slipped into her, the slight pressure egging on her imminent release. Her hips bucked forward when his palm pushed against her pink pearl , his fingers slowly pumping inside her. “So greedy,” he purred, his tongue swirling around before dipping into her navel. “Sessh-” she moaned, Teeth gritting as her head fell back from the sensation. She was so close.

Her head felt light and clouded, the beat of her heart loud and clear in her ears. So close. The heat in her lower belly grew, concentrating in one spot where his fingers caressed and palm touched. Pleasure burst through her body, fingers and toes curling into the futon as she gasped out his name. Transfixed and feeling a bit heavy, she tried to catch her breath to gain back her strength until something hot and hard pushed against her. She tried to move, to push away from the hard heat but a hand grabbed her waist to keep her still. Just as she was about to scream another hand clamped over her tiny mouth, stopping the sound from bursting into the air. Unable to move she stared wide-eyed as the pain grew. She was helpless again. Unshed tears blurred her vision before running down her chubby cheeks. When will it end? Why was this happening? She’s been good, had listened to her daddy and been respectful. So why was this happening again? She closed her eyes, when he called her name, squeezing them tight as if doing so would block the sound out. “Ana.” The voice was closer, clearer. “Ana?” It sounded a bit panicked, concerned even. “Ana, please.” Someone was shaking her, but why? “Ana!” She gasped, eyes flashing open to meet pale flesh.

“Sesshomaru?” she asked confused, unsure of what had just transpired. “Ssh, it’s okay, you are safe,” he soothed as he gently rubbed her arm, pulling her closer when she trembled. “I’m sorry, I-” she choked, tears blurring her vision once more. “Stop it,” he reprimanded, “This isn’t your fault.” She sniffled, tears rolling down her face. “I know, I know but I thought I was over it. That the memory wouldn’t hurt me anymore.”

“It can’t. I won’t let it. We do not have to do anything until you are ready.” She sighed, closing her eyes, allowing the memory to fade as she drew comfort from his soothing touch. As she sat there, face tucked under his chin, she couldn’t help but wonder when the memory would stop haunting her. Feeling numb from being cradled in his lap she shifted, feeling something hard against her outer thigh. He hissed, his body tensing from the sudden touch. He was restraining himself for her sake, the realization dawning on her when he growled softly, tightening his hold.

He wouldn’t hurt her like that man did, that she knew for sure, especially after hearing Shizuka’s recovery story. She at one point had even believed that he could make her forget. Make her forget! That’s it! “Make me forget,” she whispered, pulling away from him to look in his eyes. He closed his eyes, a rebuttal to her statement on his lips but she intercepted it, “Make me forget.” This time it was firm, demanding, she knew he could. When he didn’t move, she straddled him, putting her hand between her thighs, intending to put his cock inside her if she had to. He grabbed her arm.“Ana-”

“You won’t hurt me, make me forget,” she begged once more. He growled softly, pushing her onto the futon. “I will make you forget.,” he proclaimed, settling between her thighs, his eyes shimmering with determination. He crawled back a bit, opening her legs wider before dipping his head between them. She gasped at the feel of his tongue, fingers instantly tangling themselves in his hair as he lapped at her folds. She didn’t think that she would be sensitive after the episode she just had, but the way his tongue flickered over her tiny bud sent sparks of heated pleasure through her body. Even though that was the case she found herself pulling his hair, silently begging him for more. Her hips pushed forward when his tongue breached her, wiggling when he sucked on her knob. It almost felt as if her body was moving on its own with the way her hips gyrated and her hand caressed her own body, twisting and pinching her nipples as he pleasured her with his mouth, but it felt amazing.

She moaned out her completion, dribble dripping from the corner of her mouth while she poured herself out for him and moaned out his name. Before she could fully collect herself his length was pressed up against her. Hissing from the sudden pain, her first reaction was to push away from it. “You need to calm yourself and breath.” She looked down her body at him, his face scrunched up in pleasure as he rubbed his cock between her folds. She nodded, body trembling in fear and delight. He leaned over, capturing her lips as he pushed one of her legs up. She gritted her teeth, fingers curling in his loose hair strands as he tried once again to push into her. She whimpered when his hips snapped forward, filling her completely. It was a lot more pressure than she could have imagined and she felt a bit numb but it didn’t hurt as much as she had thought. “I’m going to move now, alright?” She nodded, biting her lips in anticipation for pain. “Fuck,” he grunted softly as he moved, slowly pushing back in.

A tingling sensation zapped up her spine at the movement, back arching slightly as her body twitched. What was that? It happened again, the tingling shooting to her toes. She moaned, wrapping her hands around his body. He continued at that slow pace, pulling moans from her withering body, groaning and panting above her as he moved effortlessly within her. “Faster,” she begged after a while, the slow pace not enough to bring her to that blissful place she longed to go. When he didn’t comply she dug her nails into his back, intedning to get her point across, but he retorted, thrusting hard within her. She gasped, the thrust hitting something within her that had her spine tingling again. “Sessh, please,” she begged wanting to find release. “It’s okay Ana, let go.” How could she when he was going so slow? She concentrated on the pleasure, his husky moans, the way his cock would hit that place within her from time to time, the slick sound of sex as it rang in the air, their sweaty bodies gliding effortlessly over one another.

It wasn’t long before the slow growing heat reached its peak, her breath coming out in shallow pants as he sped up just a little. “Fuck. Sesshômaru” she moaned out loudly as she orgasmed, back arching, legs shaking. White and black dots danced behind her eyelids as his thrusts sped up, his movements in her sensitive orifice sending zaps through her body. The feeling began to become painful after a moment as she clung to him, no longer moaning but groaning from the pain. Just as she was about to cry out he moaned, body stilling before thrusting a few more times within her. He gently pulled out of her before pulling her onto his chest as he laid back onto the futon. “Are you alright?” he asked, gently rubbing her arms. She nodded her response, sighing as she snuggled into him. If she had known having sex with him would have been so amazing she would have done so sooner, although she could do without that borderline painful feeling when he continued after her orgasm. Maybe it was because she was not accustomed to it, it had all happened so long ago? She was about to ask him when she noticed that his breath had evened out. He was asleep! She would have smacked him if she hadn’t felt something trickle down her thigh. She cringed at the sight, panic flaring as her blood mixed with the man’s semen trickled down her chubby thighs. She turned to find a cloth of some kind to wipe the filth from her skin when something tugged at her wrist. He was grabbing her, could he not see that she was bleeding? How could he pin her when she was hurt? She just wanted to get away, why wouldn’t he let her? She tugged, knowing he would not let her leave but trying anyway. Her wrists slipped free, the silky smooth texture feeling like balm on her burning little body. She inspected the material, its texture and feel like hair, but so much softer than she had ever felt before. No, that wasn’t right, she had enjoyed that texture before, had clawed into it in a desperation that her younger self could not have imagined, but this was so much different from her past experiences. That’s when realization dawned on her as she looked around once more. She was not in her old room, not being pinned down by that man, not lying on her soft down blanked but on Sesshômaru’s- Oh. My. God.


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! I hope you’re ready for the first chapter of the new year. I know I am. Sorry it’s been so long but you know great things take time :). Anywho, I have a Disclaimer: there is a sex scene and lots of emotions, so you have been forewarned. Oh, before you leave please leave a review, follow or fav this piece so I know that I’m cooking up a good piece.   
> And another thing... even if I’m a little late... Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. PEACE!!

His hair was everywhere. Silky strands caressed her exposed skin, some sticking to her flesh. She was basically trapped in his hair, even worse, it was not just on her body but also between her thighs, her fluids and his semen drying in the strands. She shivered as she pulled a strand from between her legs, the feel of it as it dragged across her scarred skin making her twitch in disgust. It wasn’t like she hated it, on the contrary she found his hair to be beautiful, even kind of envied how he was able able to manage it; but being tangled in it after having sex, now that was a different story. She needed a bath and wanted one desperately. It took her a moment to figure out if she wanted to wake the bastard so they could clean up together or just get clean herself in the river, but the longer she sat there, the feeling of their dried fluids on her thighs, the ghost like sensation of his hair on her skin, the more uncomfortable she got until she made the decision to just go on her own. Fuck him and his silky never out of place hair. She needed to clean herself off and now. 

Getting up was a bad idea. The moment she pushed herself to her feet her legs crumbled beneath her, sending her back to the futon. She groaned at the impact, rubbing her sore ass. “Are you alright?,” his confused voice asked. Frowning, she turned to look at him, “No, I feel gross.” His brow rose in question, “Gross?”  
“Yes, Sesshômaru, gross,” she repeated emphasising the word.“You think having sex with me is gross?,” he asked a bit taken aback. “What? No, no, no, Sesshômaru. I think the aftermath is. Having sex with you is great,” she paused, turning away from him before continuing, “And I’d be more than happy to do it again.” She was happy he couldn’t see her face because she could have sworn that she would combust with how hot she was feeling right now. She yelped when he picked her up, startled by his action. “What are you doing?” Were they going to have sex again? She wrinkled her nose, being in his arms brought her face way too close to the mess between her legs and if she could smell it, it had to be reeking for him. How could he want to have sex with her like that? “You did say you were feeling gross. Did you not? Although, I prefer my scent all over you,” he mused, sniffing her. “That’s disgusting!” The repulsed whine was out of her mouth before she could even think about it, pushing his face away. Being covered in his fluids was not something she desired. She realized her mistake when he frowned. “Is this a dog demon’s equivalent to a dog peeing on its property?,” she asked, no less appalled by the idea, even if it was part of his culture. “You are not property and no. It is a bit difficult to explain.”

“Well try.” She hadn’t realized they had left the cottage until he set her down, her feet touching the cool grass. She looked around, multicoloured rocks surrounding a hot spring with a boulder on the farthest end. They were still in the forest, she observed, the large trees shielding them from the late afternoon sun, but they were nowhere near the cottage. How had he done that? The sloshing of water drew her back to reality. He beckoned her to him and she obeyed, loving the feel of the hot water warming her from the cool spring air. She sat between his thighs, leaning back as her body relaxed. “In common demon mating,” he began, pooling water in his hand before pouring it over her exposed chest, “mates mark each other with bites.” She nodded when he gingerly traced the junction between her neck and shoulder indicating the usual place for the exchange, her unspoken question answered. “When they do,” he continued as he resumed pouring water over her, gently washing her abdomen as the water ran down her body, “some of their demonic energy is transferred to the other leaving them with a mark and a change in scent. Anyone who smells them will be able to tell who their partner is. Since you are human I do not believe that this will work with you.”

“Why not?” He chuckled, “For one, you do not have demonic energy to transfer and your teeth are not sharp enough to pierce my skin.” He gently pushed her forward so that he could wash her back, his fingers gently kneading the sore muscles.“So why can’t you just bite me? Problem solved,” she shrugged. His hands halted for but a moment as he sighed, “I must admit I have thought of that, but it would be an incomplete ritual which would lead to nothing but a show of property not a mating bond.” 

“Oh,” she murmured, sitting back after he was done with her back, sagging a bit further into the water. It seemed as if her being a human was making everything complicated. “Don’t worry, we will have the regular ceremony preceding the bite and if you wish we can also join the human way.” He wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer to him, kissing her cheek. “Please, forgive this Sesshômaru. Following tradition we should have had the ceremony before being intimate, I should have informed you about this. This Sesshômaru should have had more discipline, but could not resist you any longer. That was callous on my part.” She sighed, her cheeks heating up at the admission, “It’s fine. It’s fine. I get it, I couldn’t resist either and where I come from it is common to not wait, but that still does not solve our problem, how will you scent me?”

“Hmm, our joining will be spread far and wide. Everyone will know that you are mated to me. and…”

“And?,” she questioned after he had been silent for a moment. His hand slowly caressed her arm, cupping her breast when it had reached the firm mound of flesh. She moaned softly, body tingling in delight at his touch. His other hand trailed down her abdomen into the water and between her thighs. “And?” she questioned once again, breathless and in anticipation for what was to come. His fingers found their mark, slowly encircling her pink pearl while the other twisted her hardened nipple. Oh, shit. She bit her bottom lip, head rolling from side to side as her mind flooded with lust. “Sesshômaru,” she moaned out, want in her voice. How could he have turned the situation into something like this? “Oh, God,” she moaned when his fingers breached her. 

The scalding water combined with the heat slowly growing in her core made her dizzy. She groaned when he pulled out his fingers, a bit miffed at the fact that he hadn’t made her cum. Before she could voice her irritation he lifted her from their seat, bending her over the edge of the spring. He eased into her, a gasp escaping her lips as her fingers dug into the rocks around her as best as she could. The cold from the air and stone beneath her palm, along with the heat from the water and his body were playing games on her mind. They sent chills up her spine but also made her shiver in delight. The sensation both confused and aroused her, leaving her panting heated breaths. Her knees buckled after a moment, a hand wrapping around her as his body leaned over hers, shielding her from the chill she had come to enjoy. 

The sloshing of water and slapping of skin against skin could be heard loudly in the almost silent forest, her moans a testament to the pleasure she was receiving. After they had found their completion he pulled out of her, pulling her back into the waters with him. When she had gathered her breath she pulled away from him, intending to clean herself on her own before he tried something again, which she didn’t mind but after she was clean. She flinched when she saw him washing out his hair, remembering the aftermath from earlier that day. “We should braid your hair when we have sex,” she commented, walking towards him. She poured water over his hair, gently scrubbing the areas that still had dried semen on it. He gave her a confused look. “I don’t think you’d like washing our fluids out of your hair.” He hummed in agreement to her explanation as she washed his chest, her hands moving slowly over his bare skin, mesmerized by how his pale skin was in contrast to her own. “I believe that can be arranged,” he replied, drawing her out of her reverie. She chuckled at the image of him with his hair braided. That would be interesting.

After their bath, it had taken them a while to dry and braid his hair. “Sesshômaru?” she mused out loud as she neared the end of the long braid. “Hmmm,” he responded. “Why is your hair so long?”

“It’s tradition.” Her brow raised in confusion.“Tradition?” He nodded his response. “We in the royal Inu family find it to be a thing of power and beauty.” 

“Oh,” she sounded out, “So, you’ll never cut it?” She asked curiously. “I haven’t thought to do so. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no real reason. Just wanted to know.” She hummed in triumph as she wrapped some of his strands around the end of the braid so that it wouldn’t come undone. “Complete,” she nodded, smiling at her handywork. He gently ran his fingers over the braid, nodding his approval at her work. He turned to her then, a devilish smirk on his lips. Air hitched in the back of her throat when she saw his smirk, a shudder running through her body in anticipation. “Why don’t we test it out?,” he smiled slowly crawling towards her like the predator he was until their lips met.  
.  
.  
.

The past couple of days were filled with pleasure and sore thighs but Ana was not complaining. Braiding his hair had been the best idea ever, no more getting tangled, and even better no visions of her being bound and held against her will anymore. She had been right, he was able to lift her fear, the more sex they had the freer she felt, however once she had become accustomed to her body’s reactions and his, she couldn’t help but wonder if it was as amazing for him as it was for her. She knew he had experience, Kagura had made sure that she knew, and she knew that she most likely wasn't able to satisfy him because of that just yet. She would learn, she did not worry about that. Maybe with experience she would even get used to his fluids flowing out of her every time they had sex?

She gasped at the thought. Ana, how could you be so stupid? Her hand instantly went to her stomach. Of course there weren’t any condoms in this time period and the risk of her getting pregnant was basically 100%. Mix that with the fact that they have been fucking for three days now... She groaned at the thought, the idea of a baby when she was barely twenty-one not sitting well with her. It was more than obvious that she would have to bear him a child or two but she was so young and according to him so was he. She groaned again, biting her lips as she tried to figure out the best way to approach him with this information. “You are worrying.” She looked up when he walked into the room, raw and cooked fish in hand. She took the cooked fish with a thanks, sighing at her jumbled thoughts. Would he think she was selfish if she said she didn’t want children right away? He didn’t seem like the type to want children of his own right now, he already had Rin to take care of, after all. What would she do if she found out she was pregnant? Was she ready for a child? She knew the answer, no, no she wasn't ready for a child. Not when she wanted, no needed to make sure that she, herself was mentally prepared. No doubt that Sesshômaru would protect her and the baby and she was more than sure his mother would be ecstatic, but- “Ana?” 

“Hmm,” she responded, coming back to reality. “Is something the matter?” She frowned, not really knowing how to answer his question. “What would you do if I got pregnant?” He gave her a blank look. “Is that what you were worried about?” There he went again, acting as if something like this wasn’t a big deal. “Seriously?” she squeaked angrily. “Cease your antics Ana,” he commanded. She glared at him not liking the tone he’d just used with her. “Fuck no! This isn’t something you just take lightly, especially when you’re not the one getting pregnant. God, you and your mother always do that!” Uncontrolled emotions bombarded her, the turmoil in her head borderlining histeria. This was not something she was prepared for, not something she even wanted to think about but he was acting as if it was a situation he could just brush off without much thought. 

“Are you done now?,” he replied blankly. She scowled in his direction, annoyed with the fact that he seemed unaffected by it all while she was having an internal meltdown . “Come here,” he beckoned. Looking at his hand, she frowned at his request, determined not to move from her spot. He tsked when he realized she wasn’t going to comply and pulled her into his lap. In vain, she tried to wiggle out of his grasp, not in the mood to be touchy feely with him at the moment but failed. Restrained and annoyed, she groaned in irritation when he placed his nose in the crook of her neck, not liking the idea of him using sex to distract her. “Sesshômaru, what-”

“If you are worried about getting pregnant, don’t be. You are currently not fertile.” She froze, the words replaying in her mind. “What?,” she whispered softly. He carefully turned her so that she was facing him. “I can smell everything about you remember?”

“Ahh,” she responded, nodding, still not comfortable with the idea of him and his mother knowing everything about her just by her scent. “I would be more than happy to pup you.” He seemed to beam pridefully at the thought. “But judging by your reaction you do not want me to?”

“No, no, you have it all wrong. Don’t you think we are too young?” She gently grabbed his face, trying her best to show how bothered she was by it all. He frowned slightly. “Are you not considered to be in childbearing years?” She groaned, frustrated with the situation but she wanted him to understand. She took a huge breath before sighing,“Yes, but that’s not the problem.”

“What is the problem.” He asked, confused.“First of all, you do not look like the type to want children. At least, not now. And second, in my time it’s considered too young to be having children.” Although there are many girls my age and younger with kids, but that’s besides the point. She shook her head at the thought, sighing before continuing, “Shouldn’t we enjoy our time together before we have kids?” He frowned as he thought, a sudden expression of uncertainty flickering across his features. “What?”

“You are correct in saying that this Sesshômaru does not wish to reproduce now but-” he paused. “But?” she questioned, trying to figure out what he was trying to convey. “Ana, you are human and-”

“Seriously?!” she questioned, pushing away from him, knowing what he was thinking. “You’re playing the human card right now? Don’t kill me off so early Sesshômaru.” Anger and hurt bombarded her, tears blurring her vision as she thought about what he was saying. Fed up with it all she tried to get away from him but he grabbed her arm. “Let me go,” she forced out, anger building up fast. “Ana-” 

“Let me go!” she screamed. “Anastasia!” She stilled as demonic energy washed over her, tears dripping out of her widened eyes as she exposed her neck to him in instinctual fear. “I am not trying to kill you off early. Gods forbid, if that happens, this Sesshômaru would not know what to do with himself. Having our children would ease the pain but I am not forcing you to have them now.” She didn’t move, the sudden rush of his power still coursing through her body, leaving her frozen. “Please answer me Ana.” She slowly lifted her head blinking away the tears, anger seeping through her pores for what he did, for forcing her into submission. “Don’t ever do that again,” she growled. “If you are-” Her fist connecting with his jaw stopped his words. Taken by surprise he could do nothing be stare as she continued. “Don’t ever do that again! I am not your bitch. I am not your property. So don’t ever use your powers to subdue me ever again!,” she yelled, trembling with fury. He sighed, bowing his head in apology, as best as he could. “Forgive this Sesshômaru.”

After a long moment of silence, trying to reign in her anger while getting her thoughts together she spoke, “I understand. The thought of me someday dying doesn’t sit well with me either.” Fresh tears pooled into her eyes once more as she continued, “I don’t want to leave you someday. Heck, how will it be when I get older and you just stay young?” She chuckled bitterly, “I am not saying that I don’t want to have your children, shit, I’ll give you a dozen of them so you won’t be lonely when I’m gone, but until that time you’re supposed to protect me. And I’d be more than happy to give you one but I want to be completely healed, mentally and physically. And more than anything I want our children to grow up without the threat of Naraku.” He lifted his head then, his face tucking in between her head and shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him when his body shook, the feel of his tears splattering on her shoulder. “I don’t want to ever lose you Ana,” he mumbled, voice cracking. Her throat felt tight, the tears shaking her body as she clung to him, trying to sooth them both as best as she could. When they finally calmed down they lay on the futon, fish forgotten as they snuggled together, the promise of them not speaking about her dying one day on her lips as they drifted into sleep.

.  
.  
.

Thoughts of their argument from earlier were forgotten after they had awoken a few hours later, and were definitely not present as they panted in completion. Ana lay staring at the roof, content and energized after their love making, but there were too many things to count floating on her mind. Before the whole argument she had been worried about not being enough for him. It had nothing to do with her lack of experience, but more directly with what Kagura had held over her head. “A woman like you won’t be able to please him. He is a demon after all and only a demoness can satisfy him.” The poisoned words were tickling her mind for some time now. She had realized that the woman had not just been malicious when she had thrown them in her face, but that she had told the truth. Shesshômaru was holding back. She could tell from the way he would drastically slow down, almost stopping; the claw marks on the wooden floor where the futon’s bedding had given way to his fierce grip that never ever reached her, the frustrated growl as gold warred against crimson in his eyes... He held back because she was human, he would not have to do so if she were a demoness like Kagura. She sighed. Another situation where her being human just complicated things. She got up when he returned, her now reheated fish and a cup of water in his hands. She took her meal, eating and drinking her fill before turning to him. He gave her a questioning look. “Am I not enough?,” she asked suddenly. He looked confused now, his brows knitting together. “I notice that you’re holding yourself back when we have sex. Is it because I’m human and not a demon like Kagura?” He tensed, a scowl crossing his features before he spoke, “Do not compare yourself to that wench,” he reprimanded. She frowned, “I’m not comparing myself to her. I was just asking.” Silence drifted around them, a tense atmosphere building as it dragged on. “This Sesshômaru is afraid of losing himself in complete pleasure,” he admitted moments later, “if that happens I may harm you and I do not wish for that to happen.”

“How will you know if you don’t try?,” she questioned, trying to reason with him. “Ana-”

“I know you won’t hurt me Sesshômaru. You didn’t when you were in full demon form. Why would you when we are having sex?”

“I-” she crawled into his lap, effectively stopping him with a kiss. “Ana,” he slurred, drunk from their action and maybe even more so from her proposal. “Hmm,” she purred running her hands up and down his torso. She gently licked the shell of his ear, nipping at the flesh softly while rubbing the pads of her fingers behind the appendage. He was like putty in her hands when she did this, something she recently found out. He relaxed in her touch, moaning as she continued her work, grinding on his slowly awakening cock. “Ana,” he moaned again, his hands kneading her ass, the feel of his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “I know you won’t hurt me, you chose me after all, so it’s okay, let go,” she whispered in his ear.

She gasped when her back connected with the futon, a low growl permeating the air. Her eyes snapped open, his eyes no longer its normal white with amber chips but blood red with blue pins for irises. His demonic markings were jagged across his cheeks and his aura flared making him appear bigger than he normally was. He was a beast before her, his power rolling over her as his ragged form hovered above her, both ready to crush her without a moment's notice. It aroused her when she should have been afraid with the way he just handled her; should have been trying to get away from him with the look he was giving her. It was much like the look that Naraku had had in his eyes, drunk with the idea of completely dominating her and the way he moved mimicked the way that man did, ready to cause her pain, but instead his flaring demonic energy left her drunken with lust. She opened her legs wider, beckoning him towards her. He crawled over her as she craned her neck, a sure sign of submitting to whatever he wanted. She loved him, something she hadn’t said out loud yet, but knew within her heart, so for him she would do this. Excitement built in her chest as he sniffed her neck, growling in approval to her actions. Not wasting any time, he dipped between her legs, lapping hungrily at her folds. She hissed at the contact, his tongue much rougher than normal but the sensation just as pleasurable.  
Blood pumping rapidly through her veins, she moaned out his name as she poured her essence for him. She hadn’t even caught her breath when he plunged into her. For fuck’s sake his cock felt bigger, too. Her legs trembled, eyes snapping shut at the pain. What had she gotten herself into? Given no time to adjust he slammed back into her, a heavy groan rolling off her tongue. When she tried to pull back from the pain he grabbed her waist, his claws digging into her flesh. She gritted her teeth, bearing the sudden shot of agony. Pinned down by the man she loved she moaned out her pain and pleasure as his quick thrusts, violently jerked her body, leaving her numb. It shouldn’t have been this pleasurable, yet still she found release, moaning his name as her fingers gripped his arms, his thrusts still hard and quick. It felt right being dominated by him like this, to submit to him like this, enjoying the way he pounded into her as if it were their last time. What was wrong with her? Somewhere in her clouded mind a thought tried to form, that she should feel disgusted, being used like that, violated, but it was crushed as soon as it dared to surface. How could she feel like that, when every painful touch proved how much he needed her? Disgusted and violated? No, appreciated and loved! She gasped he flipped her over, pressing into the small of her back, her face flat on the futon as he slammed into her again. Eyes screwed shut, her moans were now screams, her face scrunching in pain as his thrusts became harder and faster. At some point she swore she heard a crack and for a moment she wondered if she had broken something until she orgasmed again, the adrenaline and endorphins numbing her body.

By her fourth orgasm she was spent, but he was still going. She had no more voice to moan or scream, and even if she did she doubted he would have been able to hear her plea when he was this far gone. Besides, she had told him to let loose and, gods be damned, she would bear it all for him. She grunted when a harsh tug on her hair pulled her back, her neck straining from the effort. His blood red eyes bored into her own, a devilish smirk playing on his lips. She silently groaned as he smashed their lips together, his tongue plunging into her mouth, slithering around her hot cavern without restraint. He pulled back, a sliver of dribble plastering on the corner of her mouth as his tongue lickerd her lips. She hissed, pushing against the arm that wrapped around her waist when he ground roughly inside her, his thrusts slow and forceful. His tongue splayed along the pulse of her neck, the gesture sending shivers of fear and delight through her body as he nipped and sucked harshly at the flesh, leaving her silently groaning in pain and pleasure alike. Her eyes snapped open when a nip pierced her flesh, blood trickling down her sweaty neck. He lapped at the trickle of blood, a satisfied growl rumbling in his chest. 

She hadn’t seen it coming. Never thought it would happen. One minute he was lapping at her neck and the next he was burying his fangs deep within the side of her throat. “Sessh-” she called out but the feel of his teeth crushing her windpipe stopped her. A million thoughts ran through her mind as she knelt there, a hand trying weakly to push him away, a lone tear trickling down her cheek as she gasped. Why? Why was he doing this? Did he not say he didn’t want her to ever leave him? So why was he killing her? Why had she thought she was special? Obviously she wasn’t because he was suffocating her. Blood gurgled at the back of her throat, her life force both killing and leaving her at the same time. Darkness crept in the corner of her vision as the thoughts slowly muted and reality set in. She was going to die. Oh god.... she was going to die! Her demise sent her into a moment of panic but was instantly squashed as she remembered her earlier resolve, she would bare it all for him. Just as that last thought filtered through her mind something surged through her body. It burned, like acid eating away at flesh as it lit up her veins and coursed through her with untamed heat. She didn’t know if she was screaming out loud or in her mind as the heat engulfed her until at last all she felt and saw was nothing. Who would have thought that dying was this painful?


	16. chapter 15

Ana's blood was the only thing that bombarded his senses as the thin veil of red lifted from his vision. Suddenly alert Sesshômaru looked around for the reason only to stop when he tasted her blood in his mouth. The beat of his heart thundered in his ears, his throat closing, body trembling as he touched his lips. Eyes widening in horror he wiped at his mouth, intending to get rid of the taste but only managed to smear her crimson life force onto the back of his hands instead, staining his pale skin. "No, no, no, no, no," he mumbled incoherently as the weight of the situation settled on his panic stricken mind. Hands trembling he reached forward and turned over her body only for his nightmare to became reality.

"Ana. Ana!" he called out, violently shaking her body. Instinctively he covered the fang wounds on her neck in hopes of stopping the bleeding. "Ana please," he gasped, "I'm sorry, This Sessh-" he suddenly stopped, whimpering as agony jabbed at his chest. "Don't leave me please. I can't- I can't live without you. I can't..." he trailed off, his teeth gritting in frustration, as realization settled in. Ana was dead. He didn't want to think it, didn't want to believe it but he had killed his mate. The evidence was all over his hands and mouth.

He couldn't save her…he couldn't save her because he...but Tenseiga. "I can't save you but Tenseiga can," he recalled suddenly, remembering his sword. He chuckled hysterically. Of course! Why was he wasting time with something as useless as stopping the bleeding when he could easily bring her back with a swipe of his father's sword. With a new sense of hope he reached for the fang only to stop, confused when the sword didn't respond to his touch, didn't cry out in despair to the loss of his mate. Sword clutched desperately in his claws he yelled at the blade, "Why?! Why do you betray me! She is dying, Tenseiga. Dying! I have to save her! I have to. Please…... I have never used the sword on her before and her death is not of natural causes. So why? Is the reason for your refusal her soul because it is not of this time or because she harbours a priestess within her?" He clutched the sword, desperately begging the object to bend to his will, but the desperation in his voice did nothing to sway the sword, nor did the blade do anything to reassure him.

The sword clattered with a thunk as it rolled out of his unclenched fingers. Numb, he turned back to his mate,"Ana…" he called once more reaching for her. Her skin was cool to the touch and pale from loss of blood. He was the one who did this to her. He had taken her life from her. He didn't deserve her, yet, knowing all this, he gently lifted her into his arms, drawing her close to his body. At this point he himself was cold, numb. He felt nothing, heard nothing, was nothing as he stared into the face of his lifeless mate. "What have I done," he choked, brushing away a few strands of hair from her face. "I promised to protect you, yet here we are." Another whimper bubbled at the back of his throat as agony seeped into his bones. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, rocking them back and forth.

They stayed like that for gods knew how long. Him mumbling apologies and regrets, caressing her cold skin, while untamed heat progressively built up within him. By the time the sun peaked the horizon he was panting as the heat grew, the puffs of air visible in the early morning air. He grabbed at his chest, the heat choking him, making it hard to breath. Such a pleasant way to die, he thought bitterly as he connected their foreheads together. "It seems as if this Sesshômaru will be joining you shortly my dear," he panted, grinning despite the gut wrenching pain. His insides felt as if they were being boiled and no matter how much sweat he produced his skin would not cool, instead the heat evaporated it, leaving steam in its wake. A side effect for murdering your chosen mate? He chuckled bitterly, silently praying that he would at least see her again, even if for a brief moment in the afterlife. "I'm sorry," he whispered once more as the heat grew unbearable and darkness enveloped his vision.

The End

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

.

Just kidding

.

.

.

Authors note: Well hello everyone. Sorry about that. I just couldn't resist. I know it has been a long time and I know that it is way past valentines day but this chapter will be featuring some of that valentine love...trust me you will understand when you continue reading the story. Also you will need it because I know I needed that light hearted extra after all the horrible and terrible things our favourite couple has to go through.

Which brings me to warnings, severe warnings: You will probably hate me after you read this. In detail: This chapter contains death, selfharm, rape, pedophilia, and prostitution in a way. If anyone is sensitive to these topics please be mindful. I in no way, shape or form condone any of those but they are necessary for the story and character development

A big note of thanks to my editor who puts up with me and obviously helped me when I got stuck… we are basically partners at this point. LOL. [Note from said editor: awwwwww 3]

For all those who wrote a review in the last chapter thank you and also thank you for your patience…. I noticed some people were upset but there is a method to the madness I assure you.

Thanks again for your support and love on this story so far and I hope you enjoy this chapter. For this chapter we tried something a little different perterning writing style and pacing because it was supposed to emphasize that very unique situation and while editing we thought it worked out quite nicely. I really hope it is not too confusing if we messed it up please tell us so we know for the future. Please leave reviews (I take everything from constructive criticism to exuberant praise ^-^), like and fav this story.

PS. I had to make some changes to the prologue in order for the story to fit together nicely, so if something seemed off from what you recalled from earlier chapters the changes have been made. PEACE!

 

Sesshômaru's eyes slowly flutter open. He is floating. Why is he floating? Where is he? "Stop fighting me and open your legs," a male voice commands. What? What is that foreign tongue? Oddly familiar and yet none of the words hold any meaning for him. What the hell? Who dares lay a hand on his person? He will die by his hands! He struggles as he tries to pull away from the man on top of him but he can't. How is this possible? He should be able to easily swat this human away with a finger, yet still he is struggling.

The sound of his clothes ripping startles him, his feet kicking out to fend off the assaulter. "No!" he screams, his voice high pitched, feminine. What the he- A sudden rush of panic floods his system, sending his heart into overdrive as something hot and rather large touches his inner thigh. "No!" he screams again, twisting and turning, trying to get away but the man's hand clamps over his mouth, stopping his sound. He freezes when he feels the man's penis touch a place he knew he never had. Pain shoots through his spine as he is breached, his vision blurring.

Sesshômaru lays there, confused and in pain as the man repeatedly penetrates him. It is odd, to say the least, being penetrated in such a manner and being completely powerless too. Is this how she felt as she lay pinned down beneath him while he took her life away? "Clean yourself up before your parents get home," the man says, straightening his clothes and leaving. That tongue again, and yet his body moves on its own, seemingly understanding the foreign words. He aches from the assault as he slowly gets up, gradually pushing himself off the bed then limping into another room. The place is bright, a long mirror reflecting the person he is.

A little girl with curly black hair, tattered clothing and midnight, coloured skin looks in the mirror. Snot and tears drip down her cheek while blood and semen run down her thighs. He stares blankly at the image before him, his mind going numb. Had he just lived though her past? How is this possible? Is this his punishment for killing her the way he did? They cry, both from the pain that radiates between their thighs and the obvious humiliation. That man had defiled her and just like her, he too was powerless to do anything about it. As he tries to get a grasp on the situation steam clouds his vision. Confused he claws at it but grabs nothing but air. Is he going to relive that memory again? Gods he hopes he wouldn't, because he doesn't know if he can live with this torture for the rest of his life.

Sesshômaru's tightly clenched eyes flash open as something hard connects to his behind, the pain radiating up his spine. His eyes land on tiny dark fingers that are pressed up against a wall, their vision blurring as another flash of pain shoots through their body. "Daddy! Please. I'm sorry!" Words he doesn't understand flow from their mouth, voice cracking as they begin to tremble. A female voice calls out hesitantly, more words he can't understand. "Joe, isn't that enough? She's already apologized! You're gonna kill her!" A male voice yells back, "Shut up Pamela! The girl's gonna learn how to conduct herself around my business associates and show them respect. I am not going to have a disrespectful child under my roof and if I have to beat it out of her I will!" What is happening? How dare this man do this to him? He hadn't been spanked since he was a mere pup! Another scream erupts from their mouth, their toes curling, hands trembling as another smack heats their skin. Why is this happening? Why must he live through this? Why does she have to live through this? Before he could gather his thoughts mist shrouds his vision and everything goes black.

~~~

A red "X" stares right back at him as he opens his eyes, the black ink in the squares next to it still glistening, the pen still in their hand. Another moment of his torture? The pen falls to the floor and they don't bother picking it up again, instead walking over to the desk. They open a drawer, more pens, those bands she uses in her hair, glimmering stones, seals and some sort of extendable blade. They focus on that. Shaky fingers reach for it. Would she kill her father for what he had allowed? It's a suitable fate for the man, but as a weapon, this is laughable. They push the lever and the fractioned blade is freed with a crackling sound. It is thin, it would break the moment she would thrust it against bone. They turn it about, watching the sparkle covered blade. It is tainted by some shiny residue, maybe it wouldn't matter if it would break into a thousand pieces because it was poisoned? They put it against their thumb, yes, you test your weapon before you go to battle, good girl. Pity it's not poisoned though, her father would deserve a slow and agonizing death. Her father is alive, just one little piece of knowledge she had shared with him which makes him panic in sudden realisation. The blade is not for her father.

They press the dull blade against their wrist. Not again! No, this is a memory, she is alive. She isn't though. He had killed her. Is this his punishment? Seeing her die over and over again in various situations? But she has not died in the scenes before. What is this? The bang with which the door swung against the wall has them drop the knife and relief floods him until they turn around to see the man that had violated her. Fury bubbles within him. He would rip the bastard to shreds if he was in his own body.

Fear. Blank, cold, agonizing fear, terror wash over him and he needs a moment to realize it is not his own. They don't move. Stay in place. Frozen and staring at the man. "Took you quite long to go to your father," the man grins, "I was beginning to think you liked our two encounters, little girl." What is he saying? Something bad probably. Their teeth hurt from the pressure of clamping them shut, their short nails biting into their hands. "We'll be seeing each other more often from now on" His own frustration at not understanding the language is barely capable of manifesting, Ana's fear dominating even his thoughts. They step back, shaking their head; whimpering as the man steps towards them. Their heartbeat rings in their ears, words he doesn't understand bubble from their mouth. "Now now, you know I like you obedient, if you behave well I won't hurt you. Come to me, Ani", the man's tone is dripping with poisoned honey, Sesshômaru might not understand the words, but the intention is clear. Oh if this was his body he would rip his lying tongue out. It is not his body though, so instead of relishing in carnage they stop their feeble attempt of getting away and stand still again, shivering in fear. A clammy hand touches their cheek but they don't turn away, just stare silently at the floor as hot tears spill from their eyes. "That's a good little girl." How can this be? Ana told him about the abuse, but once, not multiple times, how can this be happening? Again?

~~~

Hot water splattering on him pulls him out of the darkness. Pain runs up his arm as they scrub harshly at their flesh. What is she doing? She mumbles something, cursed be his inability to understand her mother tongue! Their body shakes as they scrub their thighs, rubbing them as harshly as they did their arms. He had sullied her again! His anger is easily squashed with her anguish, the constant pain and humiliation she feels every time that man touches her. They walk out the shower, body shaking as they go. Will this ever end? Pain shoots through their joints as they stumble, landing harshly on the floor, the impact shocking their joints. Weak from it all, they pull their knees to their chest, tears cascading down their cheeks.

After some time they get up and walk numbly out of their room and into another, much larger one. They walk towards a large wooden drawer, open one of the sections then comb through a layer of clothes before their fingers hit a small bottle. What is she up to? They grab it, shaking its contents, the small round objects jingling. They open the bottle, pouring a generous amount into their hand. Without another thought they shove the tiny objects in their mouth. They taste bitter and it takes all they have not to puke. What is this? Why is she doing this?

It hurts, their stomach hurts, their throat hurts. They fall over, body spasming. It hurts to breathe, but he can sense her moment of peace. Why is she happy? She is dying. But she's dead now, the realization just as numbing as what he is experiencing right now, and before long darkness pulls at his vision and he thinks no more.

~~~

He wakes up to screaming. Their body trashing. They scream, "Get them off me! Get them off!" Big hands on their limbs force them to obey. Men, all of are they trying to do? Their heartbeat thunders in their ears, panic taking over their body. Someone is yelling, a woman. Her mother. The hands leave their body and are instantly replaced by the warm and comforting touch of a woman's delicate hand. They turn to look at her mother, a sad smile on her lips. "Ana, it's ok. Mommy's here. It's okay.." They relax, their lids getting heavy, breath evening out. Although they were drifting to sleep, Sesshômaru could hear the harsh whispers of her parents. "Joe you have to stop this." The mother's tone desperate and guilty. "If you had been watching her as I told you none of this would have happened." The father, on the other hand, sounds aggravated. "Don't try turning this on me. Can't you see it's killing her!" Her retort, confident. Maybe she will help Ana, take her away from this life of misery? "We have already spoken about this. And if you think about doing anything or ever try to get away from me. I will find you and it won't be pretty." Whatever the man's words mean, they leave the mother speechless, she doesn't retort nor does she chase after him when he leaves.

A small book lies before them as he opens his eyes, something is written in her language, September, 17th 1986. What does that mean, a code? They pick up a pen and begin to write, "I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be here. They keep me locked up and constantly watch me. I don't want to be with Mr. Daniel this weekend, but father says I have to." They look up at the wall in front of them, an angry red X on an upcoming date.

"Ana?" They turn towards the voice. Who is that? "How are you feeling?" They don't reply, just stare blankly at the female. She fidgets uncomfortably before continuing, "I see you staring at the calendar. Excited for the day you get to spend with your mom? Fun isn't it?" They look back at the wall, their eyes focus on the big, red X on the date. Their heartbeat speeds up, their breath turns shallow for a split second. They shake their head then look at the woman and give her their best fake smile. "It will be fun," they say blankly. Sesshômaru knows better. He may not understand much of the conversation but from Ana's reaction he knew she wasn't going to see her mother, but that man. He seethes with anger at the notion that her father had planned dates for his daughter to spend time with that man. How could he?! How could he do such a thing to his own flesh and blood! His anger is squelched as the mist shrouds his vision and throws him into the darkness.

~~~

His eyes slowly open, landing on a X date. Judging from the other dates that were crossed out, today was the day. The sound of footsteps approaching pull them out of their daze. They get up when he enters, their expression blank. "Good evening Mr. Daniel. Good to see you again." The words they speak are empty, monotone, as if she has lost all hope. "That's my little girl. You know what to do." He grins. Sesshomaru watches in horror as they follow his command without question, unbuttoning their dress and taking off the rest of their clothes. The man, Mr. Daniel watches, eyeing their every move with a lecherous smile. Sesshômaru sneers, if only he was in his own body, he would kill that man just for breathing the same air as his mate. When they are done they lay on the bed and take everything he gives them. They don't scream, or fight, just lie there, still and silent, fake smile etched in their features.

"You have been a good girl." It was beginning to be a bother, not being able to understand this language. But from the looks that man gave them he can tell he is pleased by their obedience. "Go and clean up." They shower, not scrubbing vigorously like before, rather standing numbly under the lukewarm water. They dry off, not even glancing at the mirror in front of them. They don't bother with clothes, just walk down the stairs, curling up naked in the man's lap. They don't resist when the man pats their head. They don't sneer in disgust when he praises her for "Being a good little girl," a phrase Sesshômaru has become quite familiar with by now. They just lie there, broken and without a shred of fire left in their soul.

~~~

"Ana?" The feel of someone shaking them draws him out of the darkness. They turn to see her mother, a soft smile on her face. "You have Japanese lessons today honey, remember?" They nod at her question before slowly getting up. "Come downstairs when you're done ok?" They nod once more then head to the bath where they freshen up before heading downstairs.

For a moment they panic when they see a man sitting at the table with a book in his hand. Unsure of what is going to happen they step behind her mother, grabbing onto her skirt. "Come on Ana, don't be afraid. Go and say hello and be polite" They look up at her mother, a frown on their face. "Like I do for Mr. Daniel?" Her mother looks shocked, "No, no honey, nothing like that." Her mother sounds heartbroken, so why hadn't she done something about this yet? They take a step away from her mother, nodding at her words.

They freeze when they make eye contact with the man, his amber eyes watching them intently. What the hell? He recognizes this man. There are no purple markings in his face, his hair jet black instead of silver and only barely reaches his shoulders and yet he knows beyond a doubt that they are staring at a future version of himself. They gasp when he smiles softly, closing his book as he does. A sudden rush of heat hits their face and they smile. He is rather pleased by her reaction. Even in this time his mate doesn't panic around him. They cautiously approach the table, looking back at her mother who gives them a smile and nod of approval.

They fiddle with their fingers as they sit, trying their best not to look up at him. It surprises them when they hear her name, his voice unmistakably his own. They relax, taking the chance to look up. He smiles once more, giving them a small bow before saying his name, Tashio, Seishi. Sesshômaru isn't surprised that his name is different but wonders what he is doing at Ana's house? Shouldn't he be back in Japan, monitoring his lands? He always thought he would stay true to his royal roots but time seems to change things. Her mother did say they will be taking "lessons", whatever that means. The moment the "lesson" starts he understands. In fact this answered a lot of questions. How they could communicate, he himself had taught her japanese. Or will he? This is rather confusing. The lesson is short, only an introduction, but both his current and future self are pleased with how quickly Ana caught on to the lesson and he himself learns too. Listening in on the exchanges he realizes how he understood her so much better than his brother's Miko. Modern japanese had obviously evolved and is far from what it has been in the age they have mated. He hears it in his choice of words. What he teaches Ana is not that commoner's language the Miko and his brother speak, ,. It is more refined. Words that he himself describes to her as archaic she absorbs like a sponge instead of brushing them off as something she wouldn't need in this day and age.

It is weird hearing himself speak in another language. Although his accent is a bit thick, his future self speaks her mother language effortlessly. "Your mother has told me we will be having these lessons twice a week. I look forward to our next meeting." They nod, another rush of blood hitting their cheeks. "Thank you for the lesson." After the lesson they are excited, which is both odd and reassuring. Suddenly aware of the burst of happiness they run up to their room a smile etched on their face. Maybe this could be the start to her happiness.

~~~

He wakes to them humming, a smile on their lips as they put on a shirt. He had lived through quite a few of her Japanese lesson and everytime he left he noticed that she had started to feel happier despite her fear of what was to come when the big red days come. That, however, was not the case as they look at the calendar. A big bright green circle encircled the date for her next meeting with his future self for another lesson. They trot down the stairs, another tune on their lips as they head into the kitchen. "Mommy~ Can I help?" they ask joyfully. Her mother looks up, astonished, "If you would like, yes, what's gotten into you? You're happy today." It takes Sesshômaru a moment to fully understand what her mother said but they were already nodding a yes as their rebuttal. "Well, good. We haven't gone stargazing in a while, why don't we go tonight?" They nod and her mother smiles at them, a bit of hope in her eyes. Even though this is the case he wonders why , she hasn't done anything to get her child away from her father.

~~~

The first thing he sees is that angry red X. It's that day, that dreadful day where he has to watch his mate get touched by that awful man. Why hasn't his future self killed him yet?

Mr. Daniel walks in, a frown on his face. "Why aren't you undressing? Have you forgotten what I have taught you all these years?" They do not move, don't even flinch when he walks up to them. "I won't do this anymore," they say firmly. Sesshômaru is ecstatic when they hold their ground but that feeling is squashed when Mr. Daniel violently grabs them and throws them onto the bed. They lash out, the feel of flesh giving way under their nails. He yelps, touching his neck. "You want to play rough, don't you?" Their heart races in their chest as he advances once more, viciously tearing their clothes off before aggressively taking them. This is the most painful encounter Sesshômaru has ever endured in his young mates body and it hurts to know that he can do nothing for her just like he could do nothing to save her when she lay dying in his arms. .

They get up after a while, their vision blurry from the tears, yet still they smile. Why are they smiling? They look at their hand, dry blood under their fingernails. They may not have won the battle, but surely they will win the war. The only thought thrumming through his head, as the mist comes for him once more, is when will the war end?

~~~

Their wrists hurt. It is the first thing he notices when he wakes. Why do their wrists hurt? He is aggravated when he hears Mr. Daniel's voice, "Wasn't this nice? You like the ropes, don't you, little girl. It's been a nice touch since you're proving to be difficult these past few months." They ignore him, rubbing their sore wrist from where the rope had dug into their skin. They frown when he grabs their face. They stare blankly at his neck, a small smile playing on their lips from the jagged marks on his skin. It seems as if they had taken more than he thought. Quite a victory indeed. "Don't go ignoring me now, answer me." They spit in his face. How's that for an answer Sesshômaru thinks triumphantly. Their neck snaps painfully from the slap, the sound ringing in their ears. "Getting quite cheeky ever since you've started taking those lessons have we? I heard you're quite infatuated with the man, what would he think of you if he knew you spread your legs this easily? Now go clean up. You wouldn't want that tutor of yours to know what happened here now would you? And make sure you're covered up properly. I see you've started to grow in more places than one." They look down at her chest, a sudden sense of embarrassment sprouting which makes them angry, which for a moment Sesshômaru isn't sure if it's his or Ana's anger.

They enter the shower, turning the heater on high. As they scrub their skin they mumble to themselves,"No way Tashio-sensei doesn't notice, that man notices everything." There's hope in their voice, "Maybe he would believe me if I told him. He looks strong, he could probably kill them both." Of course he could. Sesshômaru thinks. They ramble on some more before exiting the shower, a sense of relief washing over them when they don't see Mr. Daniel in their room. After they finish dressing they trot down the stairs only to stop when they see Mr. Daniel and his future self staring at each other at the door. For a moment Sesshômaru smiles, this is it. His future self is more than capable of sniffing something like this out easily. They may not have been mates yet, but from the way his future self looks at Ana, he cares for her, at least on a platonic level and in his lands a crime like this is punished severely. Although it must be centuries in the future, he must have a similar set of values and morales. For a moment Sesshômaru prays to whatever deity that would listen, that his future self would take that man's head off, but unfortunately that doesn't happen.

The mood is tense as they look on, his future self's nostrils flaring, his lips curling in disgust. Mr. Daniel takes offense to his actions, "Respect your elders, boy." he snarls. Future Sesshômaru ignores him, instead turning to look at them. They gasp, ducking out of his line of sight. He feels her sadness, as if she thinks his future self would give in to the man she loathes."Leave," he says, his voice cold enough to have their hairs stand on end, dripping with the same loathing they feel for the bastard. Mr. Daniel straightens himself and makes a quick exit without another word. Sesshômaru smirks, knowing that his future self would be enjoying a one on one with Mr. Daniel sometime soon. Finally Ana would be free of that scum. "Anastasia. Come." They hesitate for a moment, reluctant to move after the stern command. Tense and uncomfortable they twiddle their thumbs. Shame washes over them as they sit, refusing to look up at their teacher. Was she ashamed of what had been done to her? But it wasn't her fault! "It is not your fault so don't be ashamed," his future self says, the thought alining to his own. They nod dumbly, a bit surprised by his words but unsure of why he said them. Sesshômaru, on the other hand, knew exactly why. They sat there, silent and unmoving for a moment until he calls her name. "It will be alright. I promise." His gentle smile reassures them and they nod despite her not knowing the meaning behind his words but taking them in with joy nonetheless. Finally calm they begin the lesson as if nothing had happened and as the lesson dragged on and the mist came, Sesshômaru has a feeling that the war was ending soon.

~~~

They look at the calender, him more astonished than her. They flip through the pages, their eyes lighting up when they notice no more angry red Xs but dreamy green circles twice a week. They squeal, throwing the calendar onto the bed before running into the shower. They hum a tune as they pick out something to wear for the day, the outfit they choose, a bit fancier than normal. What is going on? They walk over to the vanity and pick up an assortment of modern makeup, angling the small mirror they begin to paint her face. After several failed attempts they give up, throwing the fourth dirtied cloth frustrated to the ground. Sesshômaru chuckles at her frustration, it was such a rare and sweet moment, especially in her fucked up world, that for a moment he wondered if she would ever be truly happy again. She was happy with you before you killed her, a small part in his own mind whispers in his ear but he refused to acknowledge it, even if it was right.

They head down the stairs when the doorbell rings, turning back after a moment to retrieve a small silver box with a blue ribbon. What's this all about? Suddenly nervous they take a deep breath before heading towards the living room where they normally have their lessons. With the small box behind their back they make their way toward the table, their heart fluttering as they make eye contact with his future self. "Are you going to sit?" He speaks in Japanese. They nod but remain standing. " I know this might be weird, and uh, normally, um… I just want to..." They stutter in english for a while before his future self cuts them off. "One, you are stuttering and two we did agree last lesson to speak only in Japanese from this lesson onwards, did we not, Ana?" They nod and after a few moments they thrust the tiny box towards him, bending at the waist as they did so. He chuckles, a weird sound to Sesshômaru. "And what might this be?" He asks. Even if his young mate is awkward, she's adorable. They stutter once more, rising from their bow before replying. "I understand that its customary in japan that girls give chocolates to boys in japan on valentines...I...since you're japanese… I...and since you teach me japanese I thought I cou- I don't mean anything by it don't worry, I, I just thought it's a nice tradition and I don't know any other boys and I- " They freeze when his hand grazes their own, a tingling sensation running through their body. Is this the first time they touched? The feel of her skin against his future self was all to familiar, a feeling almost forgotten as he lived through her past life. He could see no change in his future self which made him wonder if his future self was holding back because of her current age or didn't care for her in that way even though his beast had chosen her. "Don't worry Ana, thank you, I appreciate the thought. Nice colours." As the mist took over he couldn't help but wonder. What had happened to him?


	17. chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Welcome back to a new chapter. I hope you guys are ready and excited, cuz i know I am! :) Sorry for the long wait; life just knows when to get you doesn’t it, but don’t fret I’m not giving up on this story until it’s done.   
> Warning: There is mention of domestic violence and talk of rape. I do not in any way, shape or form condone these actions but it is necessary for character development. BTW if you know someone who’s in situations like those call the police or help them. Anyways away from that negativity. I just want to give a personal thanks to my editor who really puts up with me. I love her to bites….yes bites… lol.  
> I know I haven’t done this in a while but shoutout to my top commenters johappi and cottencandii. You guys just make my day when i read your comments. Also a special thanks to everyone who recently followed or faved this story. You guys are my rock. <3  
> Oh and before I forget my editor has finally written a story of her own. If you like one piece fanfics then she has one right up your alley (maybe) lol. The title is called ‘shoganai’. Check it out on her profile ni21 on fanfiction

“Mom, can he please stay longer,” they whine childishly, mustering up as much of their inner childishness as they can, something Sesshômaru hasn’t done or rather can’t recall ever doing as a child. “I don’t want him to go.” They look at her mother, eyes widening in that atrocious ‘puppy look’ Rin used whenever she wanted to get her way, a look that makes his pride waver as they plead with a pout. Her mother smiles softly, cupping their face. “Oh honey. I know how much you like Mr. Tashio, but isn’t he a bit too old for you? I’m sure you’ll find a boy your age when we go to Japan.” The puppy look crashes into one of betrayal as they step away from her. “But I feel safe around him,” they protest, stomping their foot, a sliver of fear running up their spine, refining the anxiety they felt only moments ago. A warning look from her mother stops their whine. “Sorry ma,” they apologize, shrinking in defeat. Her mother sighs. “Sweety, You don’t have to be afraid anymore. Mr. Daniel is dead so-.”

“Wha-?” They ask, eyes widening in surprise, although it is no surprise to him. Her mother's brows crinkle in confusion, “Didn’t you know? That’s why he never comes around anymore. I assumed-”  
“The fuck! Assumed what?!” They blurt out in disgust, their body trembling in anger from just the thought. “Anastasia! Language!” They jump, startled by her mother’s response. Their anger is replaced by a rush of shame, shame that conflicts with his own feelings. Ana has the right to be angry, why couldn’t she see that? They step back, looking away from her as they speak, “Why would I care about a man who did something like that to me, ma? I just thought that I grew out of his preferred age group, is all.” Their voice eerily soft; shrugging to cover the array of emotions that bombards them. Her mother gives them a sad smile, a look of defeat etching in her eyes. He’s never seen that look before. But before he could analyze the meaning behind it the expression is replaced by a warm smile. “Go say your goodbyes and I’ll see you in the morning, okay love?” They nod, comforted by the soft kiss she lays on their forehead before heading towards the living room. 

They greet him as they normally would, anxiety and fear fluctuating throughout the lesson, and as it draws to a close the realization that they will never see him again has their heart pounding. Just as they are about to get up and give the final gesture of goodbye he stops them. “No need for that today,” he begins with a smile. “I have something special to end our final lesson.” Confused they watch him pull a small midnight blue package with a white bow from his bag. Eyes widening; they stare, frozen, at the gift before they realize that he is waiting for them to take it. Heart thundering, they nervously reach for the little box, bowing at the waist as a gesture of thanks before opening it. The small, star-shaped hair clip seems to shimmer with its own light atop the cotton liner as they stare at it. “Tash-” His name never passes their lips as they barrel into him, hugging him with as much strength as their little body can muster. Overwhelmed, they cling to him, tears swimming in their eyes until his gentle touch on their back startles them, pulling them back into a rather embarrassing reality. Mortified, they jump back, apologizing. He chuckles at their childish fluster, lightly patting their head. A warm tingle runs up their spine sending a rush of blood to their cheeks. Is this how Rin feels whenever he did that? Though embarrassing, it was nice. The thought shocks him. What is he thinking, has living in his mate’s younger body changed him? “It is alright.” The response pulls him from his musing, a small squeal escaping their lips as they put the clip in their hair.

He relishes in the warmth of the moment, the look of absolute content from his future self installing a sense of hope for the future. The moment doesn’t last as his thoughts trail towards the fact that his mate is hiding behind her smile while sadness is running rampant within them. It seems as if his mate is much like him in that regard, knowing how to hide her emotions easily. But, the more he thinks about it the more he realizes that he doesn’t like it. There should be no secrets between them. Especially one like this. How could she not tell him that she was abused multiple times? No, this definitely does not sit well with him and they will have a talk about this when he returns. If you return, the voice he thought he has gotten rid of whispers, and if you do she’s already dead. The realization stuns him, his racing mind and emotions overwritten by the joy that floods his soul. The contradicting emotions only make him more anxious and the sudden tickling of his senses isn’t making it any better. What is that? Wait... he’s felt this before. Not in a pleasant way, he should add, but why is it here? 

He doesn’t get the chance to figure out the reason as the presence rushes to the surface, pushing Ana’s soul down. It feels as if he is slowly falling as Ana’s soul detaches from his own, leaving him suspended in nothingness. His vision waivers as if underwater, his hearing a bit muffled almost as if the haze has taken him again, just not quite. 

His future self steps back in defense, a frown maring his features. “Who are you?” he growls, eyes flashing red. “I didn’t sense a Miko in the girl so where did you come from?”  
“Why Sesshômaru, we Miko know how to conceal ourselves just as well as you demons do.” Being detached from Ana, one would think that he would be free, but as the miko spoke so did he. “Time has changed for the both of us,” they continue, “But make no mistake the girl herself isn’t a priestess nor a reincarnation. It is difficult to explain and we don’t have much time.”   
“What do you want with this Sesshômaru,” he snarls. 

“It’s about the girl.”

“What of her?” He snaps. They sigh, “I know you can feel it Sesshômaru, she is to be your mate.” His future self tenses, jaw clenching. “Don’t be absurd, such things are just legends,” he replies as if to brush the subject away. “And your gift?” They ask cheekily. “It’s nothing but a gift,” he replies swiftly. “I see the way you look at her,” they jab, trying to get a response from him. “She is but a child,” he states as a matter of fact. Is his future self trying to fight his demon? But, why? Ana is alive and he knows he loves her so why would he? Why isn’t his future self taking this advantage to prevent her from going back into the past? To keep her safe from that scoundrel Naraku? To protect her from himself? He frowns at his thought, his heart throbbing in pain at the memory. This isn’t making any sense. “We both know your demon has the patience to wait, to protect her like you did when you found out.” Her statements make him pause as if to consider it but then he shakes his head. “If it were any student of mine this Sesshômaru-”

“But she isn’t!” They interject harshly, cutting him off. There is a long period of silence as they stare at each other before future Sesshômaru turns away. The sadness in his voice deafening as he whispers, “I just cannot. I’m sorry,” before getting up to leave. Wait? What!? What is the meaning of this? Why is he leaving? Has Rin’s future death left such a void that he wouldn’t take what he wants? No. He is a man who did whatever he pleased. Rin’s death would be heartbreaking, but this is his mate, it shouldn’t have affected him this much… right? But from his reaction it seems as if his future self has no recollection of ever being with Ana. How is this possible? What is happening?! A part of him has been wondering why his future self hadn’t killed Mr. Daniel the moment they met, it would have proven that he has known of Ana’s situation… right? Traveling through time is making things quite complicated, but is he really? This is rather confusing, but even so he has been thinking this entire time that Ana is alive. He is living as her after all, which can only mean she is alive. Right? The thought hits him, pulling him into the realization that what he is believing could not be right. It was just a memory after all. His mind tumbles into panic, as he dives deeper into the negative thoughts. Does this mean that he has truly killed her, that this is just a punishment after all? Does that mean he will relive this nightmare over and over again? 

“Sesshômaru…” they call out, pulling him back to his daunting reality, but his future self doesn’t look back and as the door softly clicks shut the only thing they can do is to bow their head in sadness.  
“I’m sorry Anastasia,” they whisper to themselves, clutching their chest. “All of this has been taxing on you. I don’t want to do this but when you realize what is going on I’m afraid you will only spiral into despair and I won’t have that. Especially after seeing that he needs you more than anything.” This whole situation is giving him a headache. He can’t comprehend his own panic and the Miko’s words only added to the confusion. Nothing is making sense and as the mist shrouds his vision a sense of dread overtakes him.  
~~~  
Sesshômaru doesn’t like being confused, nor does he like not being in control of his emotions; so coming into a serene scene like this one when just moments ago he was panicking, doesn’t sit well with him. The serenity he feels from his mate, as they lie on her bed with her diary in their hand, conflicts with his confused and panicked state of mind. This isn’t her room he realizes after a moment, but it doesn’t seem to bother them. “Only five months here and I must admit I don’t hate it,” they write in her diary. “I made some friends, although it’s all girls. Is that weird? But the boys scare me, don’t know why though.” What does she mean by that? Isn't it obvious why she can’t be close to males? This is becoming increasingly frustrating, the panic still lingering in his mind isn’t helping either. It’s exhausting, but in this state intertwined with his mate, he could do nothing.

“Maybe it was from that one time Mr. Daniel touched me? I feel as if there is something that I need to remember but every time I try to think about it’s nothing but a blur and I get a headache. I don’t know why I feel this way but I hope that I can just be normal and have a relationship one day like all the other girls in my class.” They touch the star clip in her hair, a sense of deep loss intermingling with their confusion. They frown, “And why can’t I remember who gave this to me?” They say out loud. They close the book, sighing as they roll onto their back. What did she mean by ‘one time’? Has she forgotten all the hurt and pain that man has put her through? Tears roll down their cheeks as their body shakes, the pain of loss becoming unbearable. Just as unbearable as being powerless to help his mate. He can’t even muster up the deep anger he has felt towards the miko moments ago. She did something to his mate, and when he gets the chance she would pay.  
~~~  
“Ana, you’re spacing out again.” A young Japanese male sits across from them, his expression irritated. “This is what I’m talking about. You clearly don’t want to be in this relationship.”  
“It’s not like that Akari-kun, it’s just-” they trail off, not intending to finish but at the same time not knowing what to say. Another scene where his emotions are being overwritten by his mate’s. At this point this whole situation is more torture rather than mere frustration. He can’t react or feel the way he wants to and now this human boy, whom he would like to tear his claws into, is spouting nonsense about being in a relationship with his mate! The ungrateful runt better be happy he is unable to bring to light his desires. How could he be reduced to such a state? The gods must be laughing at him, showing him such a moment in his mate’s past. His pride is already hanging on by a thread now his virtue is taking a beating. Being this powerless that he can’t even protect his mate when it matters the most is definitely torture, and on top of that, his mate has forgotten a large part of her life. “Look whatever your reason, I told you you could talk to me. And you don’t. We don’t even go on dates, and you hate it when I touch you.” To prove his point he reaches forward and touch their hand but they instantly pull away. 

His anger flares at the audacity of the creature before him; and for a moment, when they bang their fist on the table, he wonders if he has finally been granted some sort of control.   
“Look Aki, there’s nothing to talk about. I don’t know why I can’t bare your touch. I have told you this before and if you don’t like my answer you can leave. I. Don’t. Care.” Akari looks at them surprised and a bit shocked. “Fine,” he replies through clenched teeth after a moment. “It’s over.” Without a second glance he storms out of the restaurant leaving them confused, drained and angry. Three emotions Sesshômaru has recently become well acquainted with.   
~~~  
They walk into the house, bag strapped over their shoulder, exhausted which for once was how he truly felt. “Ana?” They roll their eyes, the sound of her father’s voice making their eye twitch. “Yes, father,” they answer, the irritation evident in their voice. “Come here.” Groaning, they obey his command, dragging their feet to their destination. The hairs on the back of their neck stand on edge when they enter the living room where her father sits with a man who’s dressed just as prestigious as he. The situation would be “normal” if they couldn't feel the dread, heavy in the air. A jumble of emotions from surprise to anger runs through their body as they put on their best mask of indifference. The man’s lecherous smile, much like Mr. Daniel’s, makes them sneer in disgust. They try their best to ignore him, the unwanted attention making their skin crawl. What is this?! They look at her father questioningly. “I would like you to meet Mr.Yakamoshi. He has arranged to spend some time with you.” Their teeth hurt from the force with which they clench their jaws together, as they stare blankly at her father. “What the fuck does that mean?” they ask with a fake smile. Her father gives them a stern look, silently demanding respect. “Am I some kind of sex ‘bot you can just hand off to someone, father?” they continue through clenched teeth, body trembling with anger, “ Mr. Daniel made a deal with you too? Is that how it went down? He paid you off to be quiet about touching me as a kid? Huh! So now the opportunity comes around you want me to spread my legs like some whore?!” they scuff, “You know what dad~, you can take whatever “arrangement” you made and shove it up your ass, and his ass too for that matter! Yeah best you get each other off!” Fuming they storm out of the house, slamming the door on their way out.  
The tension in their shoulders subsides only after they enter the train and even though he is by now aware of the technological advancements of her era he can’t shake the unease that comes with willingly entering a metal earthworm. The serene atmosphere, gentle sway and clatter of the train wheels soothes the turbulence of emotions within them. Where they are going, he has no clue, but one thing is certain, he is happy with the fact that his mate has stood up to her father. 

Several minutes later, they exit the train and after a few minutes of walking they arrive at a row of apartments. The environment isn’t familiar to him, but Ana walks to her destination with confidence. After walking up a small flight of stairs they knock on the door marked M13. A teenage girl pops her head out. “Ana. Let me guess... You and your dad got in an argument. Again.” she says exasperated. They grin, shrugging, “You know he gets under my skin easily but this time it was totally his fault.” The girl shrugs, stepping aside to let them into the tiny apartment “Alright, alright tell me about it.” After relaying what happened earlier that day her friend is astonished. “Bullshit! You don’t mean the owner of Yakamoshi design clothing. As in the Mr. Yakamoshi. I know the guy knows business and I’ve heard about some scandals but this is crazy!”  
“Yeah.” They touch the clip in their hair, the feel and memory of it making them frown. “Now that I think about it I wonder if this clip is some kind of fucked up gift from Mr. Daniel.”  
“Oh.” Her friend sounds out uncomfortably. They nod in response. Suddenly disgusted they rip the clip from their hair, looking at it with a sad frown. “Here, you take it Yuki. I don’t want anything from that guy on me. Can you imagine that I thought it was from someone special?” Their heart feels as if it is being squeezed as they give the clip to her friend. It’s as if it is a part of herself and if Sesshômaru could frown he would. Things have taken a turn for the worse and it seems as if his mate has no recollection of ever meeting him. His heart flutters with agony at the thought. His mate has forgotten about him. Why did the priestess do this to her, to them?  
~~~  
A whimper, followed by a loud clatter pulls them out of their sleep. Drained and confused they get up to find the reason for the noise only to stop short when they see what is going on. Her mother on the floor, blood trickling down her lip with her father looming over her. “This is your fault Pamela! You let that girl run around and do whatever she pleases and now I’ve lost a good business deal!” The mother whimpers when another blow lands across her face. What the actual fuck?! Sesshômaru is just as astonished as she is as they stare, paralyzed as her father repeatedly hits her mother.. “Please Joe, I didn’t-”

“Shut up!” he yells, cutting her off. Why is her mother tolerating this abuse? Is that the reason for the sad look in her eyes before? No woman should be treated like this by her mate. Such an act is punishable by death. The growl they emit surprises him. Body shaking, vision blurring, they turn away from the scene, heading back to their room. Has her mother withstood this treatment because of Ana? He had threatened her before. A rush of hatred pulls him out of his musing as they turn on a lamp, pulling out her diary from a drawer and write in big bold letters: He will pay!  
~~~  
The harsh screeching of her chair against the floor pulls him from the haze, they are in school, walking rather confidently towards the front of the class. What is she up to? They clear their throat before speaking, “Before I give you my official presentation I would like to expose Mr. Yakamoshi of Yakamoshi Designs for the perverted fuck he is.” The class turns silent after they hear her statement. Now that they have the full attention of the class they continue, “There has been a lot of things in my personal life that has happened and I realized that I may not be the only one. So I began to do some investigating on my own and found that there have been other girls and none of them had the courage to speak about it, so here I am.” She plans to reveal what she went through to her class? How is this helpful? From the corner of their eye they can see the teacher shifting uncomfortably in her chair. “A few months ago Mr. Yakamoshi came to my house and made a deal with my father to have sexual relations with me.” Everyone in the class gasps and the teacher shoots out of her chair finally free of the stupor their initial statement has put her in. “Miss Johnson!” They ignore the teacher and try to continue their speech but she pulls them out of the room. “I will not have you making blatant remarks about a man like Mr. Yakamoshi. You will report to the principal's office immediately.” The teacher’s shouting doesn’t phase them and they simply turn and leave, a smile on their face as they walk towards the principal’s office. 

As they sit in the chair much less cushioned than the one behind the spotless hinoki desk, face void of any emotions, Sesshômaru is rather proud of his mate. Although it wasn’t what he would have done, the truth was told and now more people would be talking about it. Whatever the principal is saying falls on deaf ears as they stare blankly forward. The final verdict is expulsion which doesn’t phase them, instead they leave the school with their head held high and a smirk on their lips.   
~~~  
“Ana why don’t you sit?” They turn towards the voice. A woman sits in a comfortable chair in front of them. What is this? Sesshômaru wonders as they turn back to the window they stared out of. “I don’t need to sit. I’ve already told you everything I remember. My father is only sending me here because I won’t bend to his will,” they scuff, rolling their eyes.  
“I see,” she juts down something in her notepad, the scribbling quite loud in the silent room. “You have told me a lot of things but so much of it is unclear,” she continued. “ You said you feel empty sometimes, as if you lost something or someone close to you. Can you elaborate more on that?”

“What else do you want me to say!” They reply, throwing their hands up in the air. “That’s all there is to it.” They turn to look fully at the woman, their arms folded over their chest, a scowl on their face. “Are you sure there isn’t more?” They only sigh, giving the woman an angry look. “You wouldn’t be lashing out like this if there wasn’t something else that happened to you as a child. You told me-”  
“I told you I was raped and then my father tried to sell me off like some whore. I got upset. Did some digging and made sure other people heard. To make it worse he was abusing my mother. “As I’ve said before the only reason I’m here is because I won’t bend to my father’s will. What else do you want me to say? ”

“So are you suppressing your memory?” The question came out of nowhere and for a moment it makes them pause as if sudden realization has struck her mind alight, but after a moment they shrug again. “I don’t know. A part of me feels that there is something there to remember. Something dark, but when I try to remember I get a headache so I just forget about it. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m not normal.”  
“Don’t say that,” the woman said softly. “All rape victims heal differently. It’s not something you can easily walk away from. If you feel that way why don’t we tell the-,”  
“I already told you that I didn’t want to involve the authorities.” A shot of fear and anger rushes through them, a scowl maring their face. “Ana..”

“You promised the first day I came here,” they say sadly. The woman smiles at them in understanding. “Also, trying to remember is fucking with my life and all this therapy bullshit isn’t making it better. Involving the authorities would just make this worse, especially for my mom. Maybe it’s a good thing I can’t remember. I could be worse than I think and I could relapse into cutting again.” They look at their wrist. Thin, dark lines are etched horizontally across them. His mate’s overwhelming sadness almost drowns Sesshômaru’s shock at the revelation. Had those always been there? He has never seen those marks on her. Have years of healing removed them? Or has he been so blind to it?   
~~~  
The first thing he feels is heat as the sun’s rays beat down on them. They squint as they look up the hill, shielding their eyes to get a better view. No human should be able to withstand such immense heat, yet here they are panting as they trek up the slope, sweat dripping from places sweat shouldn’t be, hair clinging to their face and neck. They stop for a moment, taking a swing of water and wiping their face before continuing their journey. Where are they going? One thing he knows for sure is that Ana isn’t happy, if them grumbling about the fact that they hate her father isn’t the biggest clue. Just when he thinks that they have finally reached their destination, a long row of stairs leading to a shrine proves him wrong. It takes a long moment of contemplation before they finally take the steps, plopping down on the last stair and taking off their shoes when they reach the top. They gasp, the view breathtaking. Feudal Japan never had such wonders with the tall buildings, metal birds and honking carriages, it was definitely a lot quieter; but this is still beautiful. 

Finally rested but still hot, they pull on their shoes, hoist their bag over their shoulder and walk past the tori gates towards the house. After knocking and calling for several minutes with no response they seek shelter with uncharacteristically haste. The way that they cough seems to disturb her just as much as Sesshômaru himself and he knows that her health is at risk. They look around and Sesshômaru almost, if he could, freezes when he sees the old tree his brother had spent years pinned to, a Goshinboku though much bigger than the one he is familiar with. What the hell? Are these the remains of that old village his brother has spent so many years of his life at?

After a few minutes they spot an old shed. Elated, they trot over to it, thankful that they finally have shade. The cool breeze that passes over them makes them shiver in delight. For a moment they hesitate when they peer into the dark shed but after realizing it would be better than boiling alive they take the risk. Sesshômaru isn’t too surprised when he sees the old well, but upon seeing it he feels that odd sensation he has felt just before the Miko has appeared previously. Interestingly enough she does not surface. As they sit on the edge of the rickiety well Sesshômaru couldn’t help but be drawn to it. Is the miko sensing the same pull towards the past? Just as they are about to take a swig of water a cat jumps out from nowhere scaring them. They fall back, plunging into the darkness with nothing to grab onto and for a moment Sesshômaru wonders if this is the end.

ooOoo  
Sesshômaru gasped as he bolted upright from the dream. Eyes wide, heart racing, sweat dripping down his face, it takes him a moment to catch his breath. He paused. Something was different. For one he realized he was taller. Much taller than Ana had been in the last scene that had played out and also his sense of smell was back. The copper tinge of blood lingered about and the songs of the night animals could be heard clearly through the wooden walls. Although it was pitch black he could see just fine, he wasn’t in Ana’s body anymore. He had returned. Returned to the time and moment where he had-. He stopped that thought instantly, the stale taste of her blood in his mouth making him want to vomit. 

“Thump-thump.” His back straightened, head turning towards the direction of the sound. “Thump-thump. Thump-thump.” His ears straining to listen to the sound. The sound was close, too close. He hadn’t sensed an enemy but- “Thump-thump-thump-thump.” the beat got faster. What the hell? For a moment fear grips him, which was not something he was accustomed to. Sesshômaru had no fear, he was fear; but at this moment he felt weak, too weak. How was it possible, where was his youki? Was it part of his punishment? It left him feeling vulnerable and to the sound of a mere heartbeat! He was reacting the way a human would in times of danger. Fight or flight. Unacceptable!

The sound of a low grumble threw him off. He knew that voice, that voice he thought he would never hear again. As he slowly turned to look at his mate he wondered if he had finally succumbed to madness because of what he had done. Instead, what he saw left him completely stunned. He could see the slight rise and fall of her chest, hear the flutter of her heart and the mumbles she would make in her sleep. But how was this possible? Was this just a figment of his imagination? Her face scrunched up in pain, her heartbeat suddenly thundering, and within the second she woke up screaming. He caught her when she lurched into his arms, her body warm and all to real. Was he dreaming? He couldn’t because he could smell the drying blood, feel his mates warm skin on his own and hear the melodious song of her heartbeat. “Ana?” he called out questioningly. She pulled away from him, wiping tears from her eyes. “Yes?” she replied after a moment. “I had a bad dream Sesshômaru, ” she sniffled. He felt as if his heart was about to burst open. He hadn’t killed her, she was alive, but what happened? Why was he so drained? It didn’t matter, his mate was safe.


	18. Chpater 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Guess who's back! This gyal (^^). Anyways, I just wanted to say thanks to all my supporters. You guys make me so happy. I honestly write for you guys. Also a big thanks to all those who kuddoed this story. I know its been a while, but as I like to say, all good things take time. Well hope you enjoy this chapter and please do leave constructive, tasteful criticism in the comment section. Warning: talk about death... don't worry it's not what you think, just take a look,okay. Thanks! PEACE!

“I am safe, I am safe…” That was her mantra as she clung to him, willing her racing heart to slow as she took comfort in his embrace. It had all been so surreal, and for a moment she had wondered if what she had been going through was reality, only to wake up. Her brows crinkled in confusion. If that was the case, why did a part of her feel as if it were real? “Ana?” Hearing her name pulled her from her thoughts. His eyes seemed to shine with worry, making it hard for her to stop the sudden onslaught of tears. Whether it was from relief or shock she wasn't sure, but the thick, heavy, waters washed her face as they rolled down her cheeks. “Ana what's wrong?” he asked, concern evident in his voice. What was wrong? She wasn't sure herself. She was fine a moment ago but it seemed as if the shock of the whole situation had worn off and all the pent up emotions she had been feeling throughout the ordeal had scrapped its way to the surface. “I-I was so scared,” she hiccuped, trying to stop the tears, but they wouldn’t. Her body shook, the little energy she had recovered only moments earlier zapped away by the tears. “Ana. Ana. Look at me,” he called out, gently grabbing her face. There was a slight tremble in his fingers as he wiped away her tears but his eyes screamed determination. Was he okay? “It’s alright. It’s alright,” he said, pulling her out of her questioning thought. His voice was mellow and the kiss he gave on her forehead melted all her fears and frustrations away. He wasn’t okay though something felt off about him, he was normally steady, strong; but his hands, they trembled. What was that about? At the back of her mind she knew she should push away her turmoil and make sure he was alright, but she wanted to be selfish and take care of herself first. Was that wrong? 

Her weary body slumped further into his embrace, accepting the stability and comfort he gave. She needed this, especially after the episode she just had. “What troubles you?” he asked after a moment, pulling her away from him. As her eyes adjusted to the dark she tried to find a way to explain what had happened to her. What would he think? Would he think she was crazy if she told him that she had been trapped in his body? She shook her head. Of course he would! “It was just a dream,” she tired to assure herself but a small part of her said otherwise. She should just tell him she had had a weird dream about him, yes that’s it, but he would know that she was leaving something out. Damn him and his freaking great sense of smell! She sighed. She should tell him. If not for his sake, then for hers. It would ease her mind if she could tell him what she experienced.

“I had a horrid dream about you,” she stated reluctantly. He tensed, his voice all too serious as he asked, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how to explain it,” she shrugged, “But it was as if I were you, but I wasn’t and…” she paused for a moment, stuttering as she tried to collect her thoughts. “It was like looking through your eyes, but my thoughts were my own. I could feel everything you felt and spoke as you did and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.” 

The screams they were so loud. She looked at her hands, the blood dripping off them, the wicked gleeful monstrous laugh she laughed. Her hand trembled from the adrenaline pumping through her veins as she grabbed the hilt of her sword. What had she done? “Ana?” the raspy sound of one of her victims whispered in her ear, their cold breath sending the hairs on the back of her neck on stand. Air hitched in the back of her throat, tears rolling down her face once more as she looked up to hear Sesshômaru calling her name. “Ana….Ana. Are you alright?” The mixture of fear and concern in his voice made her choke. She shook her head, her body trembling, throat closing up. Her eyes squeezed shut as she took a shaky breath, her fingers wrapping tightly around his arm.. “Tell me what you saw,” he whispered encouragingly, the tips of his fingers gliding effortless across her skin. She shivered at the feel, the comfort of it all. Did she really want to tell him? Tell him all the horrid things she saw him do? She shuddered, she couldn’t. That was not the Sesshomaru she knew and loved. Yes, he was a demon and they could be horrible sometimes, but this was Sesshomaru, he had control. The way her mind had depicted him... it was as if he were a feral animal. A sliver of disgust coursed through her body as she remembered the way he had enjoyed killing mercilessly in her dream. Was it completely his fault? Any human would have cracked under the pressure of living up to his father's legacy at such a young age. It had just taken him longer, and unlike most humans; who would have turned to drugs, he vented his anger by killing. She frowned. It didn't make her feel any better about it though, instead she felt as if she had dishonored him in some way. He would never lose control like that, after all. 

She couldn't look him in the eye when she said, “I saw you as a child,” she sniffled, “lived through your training and bonding with your father and felt the immense pain you felt when he left to rescue Inuyasha, to die.” She paused, taking a moment to let the memory wash over her. She continued with a whisper, “You went on a killing spree.” She didn't go into too much details, the lingering screams still echoing through her mind and the feel of blood on her hands still haunting her. She hadn’t realized she had stopped talking until he touched her arm. After taking a slow calming breath she continued, “Your mother had to forcibly take control from you and after you realized what you had done you left to train, to get in control of your emotions…. but you turned cold,” she whispered, shivering. She could still feel the emptiness he had carried inside him for so long until Rin had come along. “Then you met Rin and you started to change. Then you met me,” she chuckled, wiping her nose and eyes. God, she felt like a mess and knew she probably looked like one too. “I didn’t know that you could have such intense emotions for someone,” she rambled, shaking her head. “Especially me. For fucks sake I depicted you as some feral animal who would kill anyone without hesitation! I don't deserve that kind of love.” What was she saying? It was all just a dream. She knew he loved her and knew he wasn't that type of person unless you provoked him; but she couldn't help but think about the way he felt for her in her dream. It was so raw and passionate, like she was embracing the sun. Cliché, but it was so bright that she wondered how he was able to contain it all, especially when she had trampled, albeit unintentionally, all over his heart by rejecting him. Now that she thought about it, after she had met herself in her dream it started to look like what happened to her in real life, but from his perspective. Could that mean...? She shook her head. Of course it couldn't it wasn't real. It was just a dream!

“It wasn’t a dream Ana. All of that really happened. You were living out my past memories.” It took her a moment to really process what he had said, to let it sink in. Her mind felt as if it had been electrocuted as her body stiffened. “Wha- What do you mean?” she asked, eyes widening in horror, heart beating frantically in response to his implication. He had to be joking. She flinched when he gripped her forearm, his gaze turning all too serious in this moment of panic and whatever he said after fell on deaf ears as she remembered what he had said.

ooOoo  
It is bright, too bright for her eyes to adjust and she is falling. Why is she falling? After an eternity she lands, the ground rippling as her feet touch the floor. Where is this? Everywhere is sterile white, no exit for as far as her eyes can see. “Ana.” Her head snaps in the direction of the solemn voice only to find no one there. Maybe it’s her imagination? “Ana, I'm happy you came.” Ok, she isn’t imagining things, she did hear that. In a normal situation she would run in the opposite direction but seeing as there is nowhere in particular to run to she stands her ground and asks, “Who are you and how do you know my name?” A wave of energy washes over her in response to her question, she has felt that energy before. Did he come to rescue her? Elated she calls for him, looking around but she can’t find him.“Sesshômaru? Where are you? I don’t like this. I want to go home.”

Instead of a verbal answer the space in front of her slowly splits open, the shape of eyes red as blood taking form. She takes a step back, that idea to run taking form until she sees the familiar dark blue moon and maroon stripes. Have those always been there? The eyes slowly rise, a muzzle forming as the space takes shape. Sesshômaru’s demon form? Why is he here and in that form? He stands in all his majestic glory. “Do you love me?” he suddenly asks. “Huh? Of course I do.” she responds, shyly. “Why would you ask me that? You should know.” He chuckles, the sound vibrating the air around them. The sound of his laughter takes her by surprise and for a moment it bothers her. She doesn't like being laughed at, especially after being asked such a question. What the hell? His chuckle dies down after he sees her glare and is instantly replaced with a smirk. He is lucky he is much bigger than her or she would wipe that smirk from his face. “My dearest Anastasia. This Sesshômaru merely asked because this Sesshômaru wanted to hear it for himself.” He nudges her with his wet nose, effectively dissipating her glare. She chuckles at the feel of his warm breath, the sudden change in the atmosphere leaving her relaxed. After a moment he steps back, his gaze turning all too serious. She gives him a questioning look, ready to question him, but he speaks before she can say anything. “I am not sure if this will work. What I have done to you could kill you and although it may not be possible I am prepared to follow you into the afterlife.” What is he talking about? Sensing her confusion, he explains, “This Sesshômaru will attempt something that has never been done. During our last mating I bit you with the intention to mate you like one demon would mate another. The hope was to bring you here and this Sesshômaru is pleased that you have accepted the invitation. I asked you the question earlier not only to hear your answer but to ask another. Will you be willing to give me all your love in exchange for most of my youki?” 

You would think that she would say yes instantly but there were so many questions. Did he just say that he has bit her? Possibly killing her? What did he mean give him all her love? Would it be possible to accept his youki? Couldn't this kill her? Could it kill him? The thoughts were like a tornado, swirling through her mind. All went still when she looks into his eyes, his gaze soft and pleading. That is when she knows, knows that she doesn’t care if she lives or dies, but what about him, could he live without his yôki? This gives her a moment of pause, yes she has had the opportunity to embrace him, love him, show him that she belongs to him just as much as he belongs to her, but would she be okay if he dies. He did say he was prepared to follow her into the afterlife. “Wouldn’t giving me your youki kill you?”

“My dearest, you lack faith in me. I am one of the strongest of my kind, giving you my youki will only weaken me temporarily, but it is you that I worry about.”

“What do you mean?”

“For one, the miko inside of you. The two do not mix, like water and oil. Giving you my youki could pose a problem. At the same time the two powers are quite similar in their destructiveness. It is that ability that I am hoping will make this work. Secondly you must accept me. All of me. You will understand after. If it doesn’t I won’t hesitate to follow you into the afterlife.” She nods, somewhat understanding what he was saying but ... “What miko?” she asks, a bit confused. “Are you saying that you are unaware of the presence inside you?” he asks. “Are you saying I’m possessed?” she squeakes, not too happy with something like that happening to her.  
“No,” he replies, “It is difficult to explain, but I will try. You know of that woman that is with Inuyasha.”

“You mean Kagome?” He nods, “Yes, her. She is what we call a miko. A presence like the one she possesses is a part of you. You, however, aren’t a miko. You only harness one inside you.” As she thinks about it she could remember hearing someone talk to her when she went to save Sesshômaru. It takes a while for her to fully process what he is saying and after a moment responds confidently, “Yes.” He bristles with pride at her answer before condensing into a ball of pure light. He feels cool and hot at the same time in her hands. “I’m sorry for what you will see, but this Sesshômaru promises that he loves you.” With that his energy flows into her, burning as it does so. She crumples to her knees, screaming as it engulfs her, burning her alive as it courses through her body. How could one feel the pains of death so many times and come to like it? She smiles as darkness encloses her vision and the next time she opens them she finds herself looking into the eyes of proud parents. “Welcome to the world my son, your name will be Sesshômaru and on this day I, Touga, have become a proud father.”

 

ooOoo  
Her head felt as if it was about to explode. Everything, everything she knew about him was a lie. Was that the reason he had apologized? Because he knew she would see him as the feral demon he was? “Ana. Ana, are you listening to me?” She hadn’t realized she had pulled away from him until she saw a look of hurt cross his features. He reached for her but she flinched, effectively stopping his approach. His arm dropped back to his side, his fists clenching around the sheet. “Ana, I'm sorry so please.” His voice was soft and filled with distress. Her throat felt tight, she didn't know what to say or feel. There was so much going on, too much information to handle at that moment. She needed to get away, so that's what she did. Numb, she got up from where she sat, turning away from the situation, only to stop when he spoke again. “Don't leave me again, please.” The words jabbed at her chest. This was too much, she just couldn't deal with it right now. “ Sesshômaru, I-”

“I wouldn't know what to do with myself if you left,” he interrupted. “And you think I know what to do or how to feel at this moment!” She didn't mean to yell. “No,” he replied solemnly, “But I understand.” 

“You understand?” she scoffed, “You understand! How could you possibly understand how I feel right now,” she choked, her body shaking with both fear and anger. She couldn’t think. All she could hear was his maniacal laughter and feel the blood on her hands. The thought alone made her want to puke and as she looked at her hands all she could see was red. Why was this happening to her? Was she being punished for sleeping with a demon? Squeezing her eyes shut she tried to reason with herself; to remember the Sesshômaru she had met, the loving, caring one that did anything for the ones he loved, but she couldn’t put behind what she saw, his past it… it was just too much. The Sesshômaru she knew was drowned out by the Sesshômaru she had seen. Her head snapped up when she heard footsteps and without thought she took a step back when he stumbled towards her. He looked so weak. “Ana..” he called out, reaching for her from where he stood. He seemed so helpless and for a moment she wanted nothing more than to run towards him, but the screams they were so loud. Shaking her head she took another step back, “No! No, don’t come close to me you monster,” she spat. “You lied to me! You’re no better than Naraku.” The moment those words left her mouth the air went deathly silent, his aura flaring with anger. “You will not speak to this Sesshômaru this way!” he growled out, squaring his shoulders as he stood tall. His eyes stared daggers at her, pinning her to her spot. She couldn’t move, couldn’t look away from his turmoil filled eyes. 

“I went through the same hell you did!” he exploded, “And this is how you repay me?!” What was he talking about? “Fuck you Sesshômaru,” she grounded out, willing her body to move. “Fuck you and fuck this! This is not what I signed up for.” The tension in the air was so thick that it felt as if she was choking on it. It took all her will to look away from him, to turn from his piercing gaze. Finally out of her trance she turned, leaving the room. The front door felt as if it were miles away as she walked towards it, her tear filled vision only making it hard for her to see. She needed to get away, to run from the madness that seemed to ensneer her. It was all real, all of it. He was..he was a monster. She trusted him, loved him, gave herself to him only to find out what he truly was. How could she be so stupid? The hard wood of the sliding door alerted her of her exit. With blurry eyes she stepped out into the morning light only to be stopped by someone unexpected. “Oh my, took you children quite a bit. I started to fear I was about to die of old age.” Mizuki slowly rose from her seat, dusting her robes as she did. “I have come to retrieve you two.” The tightness in her chest unclenched when she saw the woman. Instantly she clung unto the false sense of joy at the thought of not being alone with him anymore. “What’s the matter Ana?” She was about to answer when she heard his footsteps. Every muscle in her body screamed at her to flee but she couldn't, neither could she say a word. Instead she shook her head, swallowing the lump of fear and agitation in her throat. Sighing Mizuki looked at them both, a frown maring her features. “Ah-Un, is waiting for you two. Let’s go.” Two? Maybe she misspoke. Thinking nothing of it she climbed Ah-Un, content with riding by herself. At least she could have space to think. That didn't last long when she felt him sit behind her. All the hairs on her body stood on edge when his arms encircled her to take the reigns. This could not be happening. Why wasn't he flying like Mizuki? Frozen, it took her a moment to find her voice. “Mizuki. Can I ride with you?” the raw fear in her voice frightened even herself and for a moment she was ashamed, but could she really blame herself? Mizuki turned, eyes narrowing at her request. “I’m afraid not. You will go with Sesshômaru.” All the air seem to rush out her lungs when she heard her response. There was no room for argument, not even a slight protest. She was stuck and there was nothing, absolutely nothing she could do about it. The heavy thumping of her heart shook her body, her breath turning shallow. “You need to get yourself together, Ana. It won't be for long, and when you get to the castle you can go to your own room.” Yes, it would only be for a short while. Taking a calm breath she tried her best to ignore his presence and the gut wrenching fear in the pit of her stomach as Ah-Un lurched forward into the sky.

ooOoo  
Her piercing red eyes looked back at the couple, one clearly agitated and afraid the other seemingly calm but she knew better. He was hurt. This is not what she had expected when she had left them alone a week ago. None of it made any sense. The reason she had come was because she could sense her son’s youki growing weak, she didn’t know it was damn near depleted until she had landed. What was more bizzare was the conversation the two had. What did it all mean? This couldn’t possibly mean that they somehow mated as two demons would? That didn’t make any sense, she had heard rumors of such a thing in lesser demons and the journal she had given Ana never gave accounts of such a thing. Could this possibly be what happened because Ana was human? Something was amiss and she couldn’t figure out what it was. Even more concerning was Sesshômaru’s moon. It was not dark blue anymore but blood red. That change could only mean one thing, he was mated to someone. But that couldn’t be, Ana was a human. Maybe that’s what the shared memories meant. Even so, if that was possibly true, why couldn’t she sense her sons youki within Ana? There were too many questions and not enough answers. With a huff she sped forward, signaling Ah-Uh to follow her lead. They needed to get back to the castle as soon as possible so she could get some answers.

In a blast of light she shimmered back into her humanoid form. Without as much as a glance backwards, to see if they both had fared well, she walked through her guarded gates, signaling for some of her handmaids to prepare her room for her entrance. Passing her kneeling subjects she walked through the sliding door to her padded room. The soft pelt tickled the bottom of her feet as she gracefully walked over to the balcony overlooking her garden, and took a seat on a wooden bench. “Mitsumi,” she called out to one of her handmaids. The girl swiftly made her way over, bowing to the floor as she presented herself. “Fetch me some tea,” she commanded softly. Rising, the girl made her way to do as commanded. “Oh Touga,” Mizuki murmured softly, looking out at her garden while caressing the necklace he had left for her. “What am I to do. I had hoped they would be rejoicing but all I see is betterness between them. What have I done?” She clutched the necklace, wishing that she could feel his presence once more. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by the girls return, a platter filled with an assortment of cheese and another with the teapot and cup. She wasn’t surprised that Mitsumi did this for her. It was one of her guilty pleasures, especially during times of stress and this was a most stressful time. Signalling for the girl to go, after she poured her tea, Mizuki enjoyed her assortment while pondering on what to do. Ana had smelt of pure fear and anger to the point of disgust; and what her son had done, yelling at her like that definitely did not make it any better. She sighed. That boy didn't use his head sometimes, but she understood why. His pride was easily bruised and for her to compare him to Naraku, that also was very foolish of Ana. She could feel a headache coming on. Things had to be resolved, but first she needed to speak with Ana. The girl didn’t fully understand Sesshômaru’s past, and how the hell did she know about all that? With that Mizuki decided she would pay the girl a visit. This could not go on for long. She knew her household, the rumors would spread like wildfire if things weren’t resolved as soon as possible. She had noticed the change of Sesshômaru’s moon the moment he came out of the cottage, it was plain as day that he was mated. It was to Ana, that was very obvious to her because she knew her son would not be disloyal, but everyone else would assume the worst. She would not allow her son’s name to be tarnished. The feral growl she emitted frightened even her, pulling her from her thoughts. She frowned when she looked in her hand, it hadn’t occurred to her that she had released such a large burst of youki. That had been her favorite cup. A large clatter had her turn. There, not too far from her, one of the servants stood, frozen. The bitter smell of fear wafted off the young maid, every muscle in her body stiff from the power that still lingered in the room. Mizuki looked at where the vase lay, the water and flowers scattered over the floor. Not on her fur! First her cup, now her fur is wet. Tsking, she simply commanded for it to be cleaned along with the teapot and cups before heading to find Ana.

The pungent scent of anger and fear could be smelt from down the hall of Ana’s room. There were no indication that her son had come in this direction which meant that he was off somewhere licking his wounded pride. With that knowledge she walked towards Ana’s room. Without knocking she walked inside, dismissing any maid servant that was there. There, on the futon, laid Ana, body shaking under the blankets. It truly was a pitiful sight. “Ana,” she called out with much superiority. The girls body stiffened but she refused to respond any further. Agitated Mizuki took another approach. “You are in the presence of the lady of the Inu house. I will not have you presenting yourself to me that way. Get up!” She snarled and smiled inwardly when she smelt the girl’s anger. That was the feisty Ana she knew. The irritation and defiance in her eyes would have sent a lesser being running but it only amused her. Rising from her futon the girl bowed, presenting herself correctly. Ana hadn’t even lifted her head fully when she connected her hand across her face. The sound echoed in the room, shock imprinting across her face. “That is for comparing my son to that low life Naraku and for calling him a monster.” It hurt to hurt her like this, but she had to be the adult and find a way to rectify the problem. “This is not the Ana I know, sniffling around pitifully. What happened to the girl who would rather fight for what she wanted.” 

“She was taken away by the man she thought she loved,” Ana whispered. “Stop being overly dramatic child. You know as well as I that my son is not the man he once was. He’d never harm a hair on yours or Rin’s head. You should know from what you saw in his memories, yes?” She frowned when the girl didn’t move. This was not going the way she wanted it too, Ana looked so lost before her, much like how her son had looked when they were returning to the castle. “Ana, look at me,” she spoke softly, guiding the girls face to towards hers, inspecting the side she had hit to make sure it wasn’t bruised. Pleased by what she saw she spoke, “Ana, Sesshômaru is not the man he was in the past. After meeting Rin and you he has changed. He loves you both and wouldn’t do anything that would cause either of you harm. It is most unfair to judge him based on his past actions,” she reiterated gently. She could feel the guilt radiating off the girl in front of her, she knew she was right. “He had no right yelling at you in that way, but you never gave him a chance to speak. Did you not hear him tell you about being trapped in your body also?” That got Ana’s attention. “What?” she asked softly. Mizuki smiled sadly, “He is in as much pain as you are my dear. From what I heard, your past wasn’t easy for him to live through either.”

“What do you mean?” Ana asked, confused. Mizuki looked at the girl, boggled by the sudden realization. Did Ana really not remember some of her past. “You will have to ask Sesshômaru about it. It is not my place to discuss such things.” With that she left Ana’s room, hoping that their talk would spur her into action.

ooOoo  
Ana stood there, stunned by what Mizuki had told her, and by the stinging in her cheek. “I deserve that,” she thought, flinching when she touched her cheek. When did Sesshômaru tell her about being trapped in her body? Even if that was true, what of it? Her past wasn’t fucked up like his. That isn’t fair. She knew that it wasn’t but, but….even her brain couldn’t come up with a reason. Which meant that she was wrong and to make it worse she had hurt him. Again. Did she even deserve him? She clutched at her chest. It hurt so much to know that she kept on hurting him and to compare him to Narku… now that was a low blow. She had to apologize, she knew it but it was still too soon. Still too much to process, still too much fear. Maybe after a full nights sleep, yeah that sounded good.

Morning came too soon, especially after the nightmare she had. If she was being honest with herself it was not as bad as it could have been or should she say she had already seen worse. As she forced herself out of her futon Mayumi entered, greeting her rather formally. What was that about? Mayumi hadn’t been that formal with her for a long while now, what changed? She was about to call her out for it but refrained from doing so. Maybe everyone could sense that something was going on between her and Sesshômaru? Mayumi’s loyalties did lie with him so maybe that’s why? She could also be overacting.

“Anastasia-sama?” Hearing her name pulled her from her thoughts, “Uh, yes Mayumi?” she responded, putting on the best smile as she could. The woman paused, opening her mouth to say something before shaking her head. “Uh, never mind,” she told her instead of what she really wanted to say. What’s with all this tension? “Mayumi...” Ana really wanted to know what was going on but found she couldn’t ask for fear that Mayumi would confirm her fear, that this thing between her and Sesshômaru may have ruined their friendship somehow. Instead she asked, “ Where are Shizuka and Rin?” 

“Shizuka is with lord Sesshômaru and Rin is with master Jaken doing some studies.” Her answer was clipped and swift. “Mayumi what’s-”

“Ojou-sama. Lady Mizuki requests your presence in her living quarters as soon as you are dressed,” Mayumi interrupted, placing the last layers of clothes on the futon. “Ah, okay,” Ana replied with a small smile, unsure of how else to respond to the sudden outburst. With a bow, Mayumi left leaving Ana to contemplate the woman’s sudden change in attitude. It was odd to see Mayumi act like that, or was she reading into it too much? The whole thing was a little awkward, that was for sure. With a shrug she decided to prepare herself, there were too many things to deal with and adding that little situation to her plate only made it more crowded. To make it worse Mizuki wanted to see her, wasn’t one time enough after yesterday? What could be the problem this time? 

The kneeling servants opened the sliding door, bowing as she entered. The last time she was in here things didn’t end so well, why was she being summoned? She stiffened when she felt his presence. It was faint, but she knew who it was, Sesshômaru. Why was she afraid, she shouldn’t be. A large part of her knew that she still loved him and knew that she had been wrong. She couldn’t help it though, her body thought she was in danger even though her mind said she wasn’t. Nothing was said between the two; not that she had anything to say, well she did, but she just didn’t know how to say it. Mizuki’s presence filled the room after a moment, her piercing eyes showing both annoyance and disapproval. “The two of you are going to make me pull my hair out,” she said with a scowl. Ana wasn’t sure how to respond. It wasn’t like Mizuki to make a joke, especially one pertaining her looks. “Have the both of you gone mad. Why do the two of you insist on keeping up this pitiful argument?” The room was filled with a heavy silence as she continued her ramble. “You,” she pointed at Sesshômaru, “Stop licking your wounds like a child and start acting like the man you are. And you,” she turned her gaze to Ana, “I came to you yesterday. I expected immediate action.” Mizuki’s presence loomed over her like an adult speaking to a child; and that’s how she felt, like a child being scolded. “The two of you are mated for crying out loud, arguments happen.”

“What do you speak of mother?” Sesshômaru asked, perplexed. That was exactly what she was going to ask. “Are you saying that you haven’t realized the change on your body nor heard the scanty rumors?” From the corner of her eyes she could see Sesshômaru’s confusion. “Perhaps I have underestimated how much your youkai was depleted.” Mizuki handed him a mirror. “Your moon, it’s not dark blue anymore it’s blood red.” He looked at himself, eyes widening with surprise. Then Mizuki turned to her, “Strip,” she commanded. She was about to protest but bit her tongue when she saw the look in Mizuki’s eyes. With shaky hands she did as told peeling off layer by layer until she reached the last one. Just as she began loosening it Mizuki stopped her. “Oh my, this is a surprise,” Mizuki gasped, turning her face. “It is magnificent.” Her fingers grazed her neck, sending a shiver up her spine. “Take a look Sesshômaru, the mark of the Inu house,” she said proudly, nodding with a smile. It took all that she had to not flinch when his hand gently grabbed her face, turning it to look at the mark his mother had mentioned. “Now that we’ve covered that, the two of you will be heading back to your quarters and sorting this out. And for the love of god have sex, you two certainly need it,” she said with a wink. With a wave of her dainty hand she dismissed the two. 

Embarrassed, and a little more than uncomfortable, the two exited her room, unsure of how to react to the news and Mizuki's out of character personality. “Come.” The command had her look up, his outstretched arm beconing for her to take it. A part of her wanted to and another part didn't. It was a mini war between the two until she gave in, reluctantly placing her hand in his. The action was rewarded with a smile, his amber eyes soft and quite pleased. Blood pooled in her cheeks at his smile, her face heating up from embarrassment. Only moments ago she was afraid! But why? Truly? Why was she trying to fool herself. She loved him and nothing could ever change that. Head bowed, she followed his lead, only looking up when a door slid open and they entered his room.

Saying the air between them was awkward was an understatement. She’d never been this nervous in her life and him being so silent wasn’t making her feel any better. “I-” they both said together, stopping when they realized they had interrupted the other. After another long moment of pause she decided to break the silence, “I’m sorry, Sesshômaru. I’m- I keep hurting you. You explained, even apologized to me and I still reacted badly.”

“Anastasia, it is this Sesshômaru who should apologize. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you. I was afraid,’ he admitted. “I never expected that you would relive my memories. I let my pride overwrite my emotions.” He pulled her into his embrace. “I love you,” he whispered, smothering her with his love. His words left a warm feeling in her heart that she'd never felt before. It made her realise that she had missed his touch and embrace.

“Your mom told me that you lived in my body too?” She asked, pulling away from him to look in his eyes. He looked away from her, refusing to acknowledge her question. “Sesshômaru?”

“You wouldn’t remember,” he said after a moment. “What do you mean?” she asked confused. “Are you are aware of the miko presence inside you?” She nodded slowly, remembering the talk they had. “She did something to you.” He turned to her, his eyes swimming with too many emotions to count. She gave him a questioning look. What else was there that she needed to know about the miko inside her? Didn’t he tell her everything she needed to know already? “I will explain,” he said, sighing. Those emotion filled eyes burned through her. It felt as if he wanted her to understand what he experienced from just one look, but there was nothing. She didn’t know because she simply just couldn’t remember. “While I was living out your memories I became aware that your memories were sealed,” he frowned.“Wha-? What do you mean?”

“It is not something I wish to retell, but it pertains to Mr. Daniels.” Every hair on her body stood on edge when she heard that name. “It is not once he had defiled you,” he growled out, his teeth clench. “It was for years.” Her eyes widened in horror. “Wha-what?” her voice trembled. “I don’t remember-”

“That is what I’m saying, Ana.” She recalled saying something like that to her therapist, that every time she tried to remember something from her past she got a headache. Was that the reason why? “It is not necessary to remember. I would prefer that you didn’t, even one such as myself does not wish to recall such memories.” His voice trembled as he spoke, his fist clenching at his side. She had never seen Sesshômaru so bothered. “Why does the world do this to us,” she whispered softly after a moment, taking his hand into hers. “Everytime we make progress in our relationship something always happens to ruin it.” He hummed in agreement, intertwining their fingers as he did so.“Or perhaps the world wants us to cut the tangled hurt of our past so that we can rebuild a better future together.” She looked up at him, his eyes swimming with hope. “Hold me please?”’ she asked, wanting to be as close to him as possible. “I missed you so much.”

“As did I,” he responded, releasing their intertwined fingers and pulling her into his embrace once more. The heat of his body warmed her to the core, his soft touches both soothing and turning her on. “Ana?” She looked up, knowing that he smelt what was happening to her. “It seems as if my mothers command has taken root.”

“No, no it’s not like that,” she rambled, embarrassed by her body’s reaction. “Anastasia. I don’t think I’ll be able to.” He wouldn't look at her when he said that. It was as if he was ashamed. “Huh? What do you mean? I never said...wait why?” she asked confused. “After what happened last time, this Sesshômaru doesn’t want to hurt you,” he explained, gently brushing her shoulder as a reminder. She stared at him, unsure of how to react. From what she remember, he said he only did that to summon her. Gently, she grabbed his face leaning forward until their foreheads touched. “That wasn’t meant to hurt me. You just wanted to see me,” she shrugged, leaning back. “Which is odd because you could have just told me all of this before,” she added with a pout. “Ana, you said that you know of the presence inside of you. How did you know? You were unaware in the past.” Her brows furrowed, “Why you silly,” she said perplexed. “That wasn’t me Ana.” Her head jerked back in response, confusion both in her tone and on her face as she asked. “What do you mean? I thought-”

“Your thoughts are misplaced,” he interrupted. “This Sesshômaru, the one that is here with you did not call you. That was my demon half.” Seeing her confusion he continued, “Do you recall me telling you that I have a demon half and humanoid half?” She nodded slowly. “The two parts think and act differently. He is the more irrational side.”

“But I saw your beast, just like that day you transformed when I came to save you.” He shook his head,“During that time my humanoid and demon form become one. That is how I’m able to transform. The one you saw was just my demon. He is the one that summoned you.” She nodded, humming softly as she thought to herself. “Well it worked” she shrugged, “from what your mother showed us it worked.” She touched his moon, running her fingers over his mark. He shivered at her touch, gently grabbing her wrist then she tried to run her fingers behind his ear. “Ana please,” he pleaded softly, the pain in his words loud and clear. Nodding, she heeded his wishes. “Can we lie together?” He nodded, lifting her up and taking them to his futon. They laid there, simply laid there without much words, but just a few touches. She moved his hair from his face, tucking the strands behind his ear. “We will get through this, like all the other times,” she whispered to him. He nodded, pulling her close. This was what they needed, to comfort one another. As his hand made small circles on her back she found herself drifting, the weight of the past couple of days melting away with every small touch. What had she been afraid of, really?


End file.
